Thursday, July 30, 2009

MUSICIAN

George and Lynne are at a dance. Lynne tells George that her friend Paula once dated a musician. George is intrigued and asks her what this musician played. Lynne replies that he played away, in the sense that he was caught in bed with a backing singer. George looks unimpressed.

George and Lynne are most likely at a wedding. Either that or some black tie do for charity, but let's say wedding. The dress is black tie and George has a white tuxedo because he likes to think he is James Bond. Whoever's wedding this is has gone to the effort for an impressive disco area backdrop of coloured dots.

Lynne starts this conversation because the wedding has a live band who have either just come on or just finished. They are far more acceptable than the last band George and Lynne saw. Who Paula is, we don't know. What we do know is that she dated a musician. This has certainly got George interested. He has never met a musician before and it is something he's quite keen to do. He almost met a saxophonist, but that didn't work out. Music is a new interest of George's and he certainly wants to know more about it. However Lynne never reveals the instrument of choice of Paula's ex-boyfriend.

George looks unimpressed for one of two reasons. The first is that he was really interested in the musician part of the conversation and now that Lynne has decided not to reveal the instrument, he has to go back to another conversation because once Lynne says a conversation is over, it's over. The second reason could be because the backing singer that the musician was caught in bed with was actually male and we all know how much single sex relationships were frowned upon in the late 70s/early 80s. This piece of knowledge has also dampened George's new found interest in music as all it did was confirm his suspicion that all musicians are gay.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

GOOD BOOK

George and Lynne are having coffee with an elderly lady called Dora. She tells them both that she is too old for romance and actually prefers a good book. Lynne agrees that she feels the same way sometimes. George is surprised and needs this last comment confirmed. Lynne proclaims that she meant a good cheque book thus implying that she likes to spend money. George is even more surprised, yells Yikes and spills his coffee.

Initially we don't know who this older woman is, but later we learn that it is Lynne's Aunt Dora. On which side of Lynne's parents she is related to, we don't know, but Lynne has put on a nice dress so it would appear that they don't see her that often. One thing we do know however is that Aunt Dora owns the smallest coffee cups in the world. It is assumed that they are enjoying an espresso. Perhaps Aunt Dora recently bought a coffee machine, or received it as a gift and decided that it makes such good espressos that she just had to invite her niece Lynne and her charming husband George over for coffee. But these cups are tiny. The one Lynne is holding is no bigger than a thimble and Aunt Dora's doesn't seem to even have a handle, which makes me think it is a thimble.

Lynne implies she likes to spend money, and more specifically other people's money. Due to her living in the late 70s/early 80s she still has to use a cheque book, as there are only two types of credit cards in existence, those being Diner's Club and Access (Your Flexible Friend) and it's very hard to get hold of them, and not many shops actually accepting them.

George is surprised twice in this conversation. The first comes when he needs confirmation that Lynne prefers a good book to romance. He has only ever seen Lynne read once in their entire marriage and that was some trashy romance novel with print so large a mole could read it. He basically thinks she's stupid, but maybe that's why he loves her. The second time George is surprised he must think that Lynne has been spending his money without him knowing it. George is deep in debt and has not told Lynne yet. Those weekends away cost money you know, and George is having trouble meeting payments. He is so surprised he spills his coffee. What with the cups being so small he has probably spilt his entire cup on that favourite blue sweater (something a little smarter for Aunt Dora please, George). That's the only coffee he'll be getting and when that coffee gets on the sofa Aunt Dora is not going to be happy. In that mood she won't be firing up that new espresso machine for him.

Not so charming now George.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

DOCTOR'S ADVICE

Lynne is at dinner with a friend who is older than her. Lynne's friend comments that her doctor has advised her to lose weight or at least think about it. The friend then thinks about it, until the waiter arrives with some cakes and she stops thinking about it.

This friend of Lynne's is called Alice. We know this because the last time Lynne was in this restaurant she was with a woman who looks remarkably like this woman and was wearing exactly the same dress. Also, the last time they were there they were with a woman called Angelina who left mid way through the dinner with a man without paying, which is probably why she hasn't been invited back today.

Next time this dinner is planned it may be Alice on her own as Lynne must be getting sick and tired of Alice going on about dieting. That seems to be all she ever talks about. We now know the reason no diet seems to work, because she keeps stuffing her face full of cakes. If she has a stroke, she'll only have herself to blame. That waiter hasn't just come round with some cakes asking if she'd like some as I can't see a dessert trolley. Alice has knowingly ordered a platter of cakes from the menu. What restaurant has a platter of cakes as a dessert? What else is on this coronary of a menu? A whole gateau? A roast ox? Alice's willpower when it comes to dieting isn't very strong but this is not the right restaurant for her. Lynne, book something a little more suitable next time.

Monday, July 27, 2009

2030

Lynne is having a massage and the small talk turns to the problem the masseuse is having with her fiance Tim. The masseuse thinks that Tim isn't serious about marrying her as he's booked the wedding for 2030. Lynne assumes she means 8.30 in the evening and proclaims that it is late for a wedding. The masseuse corrects Lynne by telling her that it is booked for 2030 the year. She then has a little cry.

Again, how well does Lynne know this masseuse. We can only assume that their relationship is more than just professional, or maybe it has started as a professional relationship but it has blossomed into more, much like you may have with a hairdresser or fitness instructor. Lynne has a kind face and is a good listener so the masseuse decides that they are friends enough to tell Lynne a big problem with her personal life.

Does anyone actually use the 24 hour clock when talking about time unless they are in the military or planning a heist? For Lynne to assume that it is 8.30 in the evening is a little silly, unless of course this masseuse has a military past. Perhaps she used to be a physical therapist in the army. Perhaps she once spent time in jail for armed robbery, where she decided to learn physiotherapy.

Before you lambast Lynne for presuming something preposterous, think about this. Lynne lives in the early 80s, so for the masseuse to be referring to a year means that the wedding will be about 50 years in the future, which is just silly. To people in the 1980s, the year 2030 is in science fiction territory. To them, weddings will take place on the moon conducted by hologram vicars in silver jumpsuits. People won't exchange rings and vows but laser guns and data chips. So there is no way Lynne would assume that it is the year 2030 being talked about.

How do you say the year 2030 anyway? Or how would you have said it in 1983? As Twenty-thirty or Two thousand and Thirty? It's an age old question. But let's not dwell on this. Let's think how busy the local church must be if Tim can't get a free Saturday there for another 47 years. You'd think he would look at other venues rather than just booking the next available date.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

GOOD GARDEN

George is lounging in the garden with a cool drink whilst Lynne sees to the garden wearing hot pants and a low cut top. George comments that a good looking garden needs lots of water. Lynne replies that it mostly comes from the perspiration of the owner, meaning it's hard work and she's sweating.

It is a warm day and George has colour coded his clothes well but he probably didn't need to wear his socks. Granted, it is his garden and therefore he has the right to wear whatever he wants, even if it is socks and presumably sandals, but because it is his garden he could have gone bare foot to enjoy this relaxing drink of what looks like Appletize. Of course he could be just back from somewhere or just on his way out, or even taking a well earned break from fixing the guttering, but he looks relaxed and not like he's done any manual labour this morning, so the socks could be off.

Lynne on the other hand is dressed for the weather; all in pink. She is watering her quite frankly over grown garden and she's feeling the heat. She's sweating. But I am sorry Lynne, if you honestly believe that your plants and flowers can get as much nutrients from your sweat as they can from water then you are sorely mistaken. How is she possibly going to give them that much watering from her own sweat? Look how many flowers there are to water. She'd need to run round collecting her own sweat in a watering can and then pouring it out on to the flowers. It's just not feasible.

Imagine George's reaction when he sees what could have been prize winning Begonias withered and dying because the only water they got during this heat wave was that which came from Lynne's armpits. He'd have to add a gin to the Appletize and fast.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

INHERITANCE

Lynne and an unnamed friend are out. Lynne asks whether she has her mother's figure. The friend replies in the affirmative but then adds that she has inherited better from her father. Lynne asks if it his shrewd business brain that she has inherited. The lady, who is wearing a lot of jewellery, says that it is his large wealth that she has inherited whilst sitting in a sports car.

Lynne, for some reason, asks this woman if she has her mother's figure rather than simply commenting on the figure that the woman has. Who else would she have inherited her figure from? Well, knowing what we know at the end she could've quite easily said 'No, my mother's morbidly obese so I paid for liposuction and plastic surgery with all the money I inherited from my father's death.' But she didn't. Her mother was obviously known for her figure. Perhaps she was a model. Would Lynne have known that? She could have been a minor model and therefore still attractive but not well known. She is one of those periphery friends of Lynne's I think.

As Lynne asks about her father's shrewd business brain, the woman comes closer and Lynne gets to see just how much jewellery this lady is wearing. It's positively sparkling in the morning sun. Lynne is playing with her at this point. She knows full well that this woman has a lot of money but she sees that the woman is flaunting it, and not in a nice way. So Lynne keeps guessing, to make fun out of her. She also knows that her father was a very successful business man, and known about town for having married a moderately successful but very attractive model. Much like the local Bernie and Flavia Ecclestone, but a lot less successful.

As the woman climbs into her red sports car (judging by the doors it must be a Lamborghini) she yells out about her father's bank account over the roar of the engine. Lynne smiles to herself as she knows that this woman is a laughing stock about town. She inherited a lot of money and instead of intelligently investing it, she spends it all on jewellery and Lamborghinis. And not a tear of grief at the death of her father.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

LOST KEYS


George and Lynne are about to go out. Lynne thinks to herself that she is ready to leave but she is waiting for George to find the car keys. In ire, she shouts out for George to hurry up and that the new boutique will be closed if they wait any longer. George shouts that that was the general idea whilst sitting on the sofa tossing the keys from one hand to another.

It is the weekend and Lynne is desperate to get to that new boutique. George is coming with her because that is what married couples do; they go to the shops together, especially in the 70s. And there is no way in hell George is going to let Lynne drive his red car (which must be new considering they were driving a blue car before). George is even more precious about his car since he had to change that wheel.

From seeing the entire story, we can learn that George is a fantastic actor. Just look at his body language when Lynne looks at him, yet he has been faking all along because he always knew where the car keys were, he just didn't want to go to the boutique.

However, George cannot contain himself once more and has to shout something which lets slip his entire plan. By shouting 'That was the general idea!', Lynne can presume he was faking the lost keys situation just to get out of the trip into town. He should have just thought it, that way still pretending to look for the keys. We can also see that George is a method actor. Instead of just standing around inside he had to feel busy to really get into the role of a man trying to find his car keys. How did he do this? He took off his blue jumper. An error in hindsight, as after Lynne finds him with the keys and they have to go to the new boutique, George will now be jumperless and a lot chillier than he had first hoped.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

NO SUN

Lynne is sunbathing topless in her back garden. An unnamed man with a pencil moustache, possibly a neighbour, comes to the fence to tell Lynne that his copy of the Sun newspaper wasn't delivered this morning. Lynne gives her condolences for the man's lack of newspaper. The man says he has come up with a solution to his lack of newspaper and says that Lynne has made up for the lack of Page 3, presumably because she is topless. Lynne isn't happy about this and throws her bottle of tanning oil at the man.

Probability states that there is a 83% chance that this is a weekday, what with the Sun being available on 6 days out of 7. With those odds in place, we have to wonder what this neighbour with the pencil moustache is doing at home. If it's so early that he is yet to leave for work then it must be incredibly hot as Lynne already has her top off. The hottest time of day is usually between 12pm and 4pm and not at 7am. If it's after lunch, has this man been storing up his risque joke since the moment his paper was not delivered?

Is the promise of women's breasts the only reason he buys the Sun? I suppose, with this being the 70s, that without the internet or so-called 'lad's mags' this was the only way a man such as this could get his fix of boobs. He should be looking a bit deeper in his copy of The Sun though. Although it is classed as a tabloid newspaper it still covers a number of reputable stories and, for a man who doesn't work and sports a pencil moustache, is enough to keep abreast of current affairs. I doubt he watches the news either, except for the off chance of Jan Leeming or Sue Lawley wearing a flimsy blouse. Imagine if today he hadn't seen Lynne and Nicholas Witchell was presenting; he would've exploded.

Monday, July 20, 2009

MOTHER-IN-LAW

George and an unnamed friend are enjoying a drink in a bar. The friend tells George that his mother-in-law is an absolute angel. Just then, Sammy joins the conversation to say that the man is lucky as his mother-in-law is still alive. Sammy is drunk.

George and his friend are at a wine bar. They are drinking white wine and the barmaid is busty. This is a higher class of establishment than the usual town pub. George's friend is considerably older than George, but this assumption is only made due the amount of grey hair he has. Therefore we must ask how old his wife is, and thus how old his mother-in-law is. And also what this woman has been doing that is so saintly. Perhaps this man has recently lost his job and is behind on his mortgage payments and so she has chipped in to help him and his young wife out. Or perhaps he got his new young girlfriend pregnant, the same woman that he divorced his wife of 20 years for, and then had to quickly marry her but the mother-in-law was very understanding that the 60 year old has got her 19 year old daughter pregnant.

Enter Sammy. He is obviously drunk as we know he has a drink problem. In addition to this he has dizzy spots before his eyes and is off balance. He catches the man unaware when he makes what we believe is a quip by slapping him on the back. But look at the force at which he strikes him on the back. It's so much that it creates a sound wave and cause some drops of wine to spill from the man's glass. George isn't shocked by this unless his reaction occurs after Sammy's quip.

Is Sammy there on his own or was he with them? Is that Sammy's drink that the busty barmaid is pouring? These questions may never be answered but the important thing to know is whether Sammy's quip is said in jest or whether he actually believes that the man's mother-in-law is dead. If he does, he is making light on what could be a very sensitive situation. What if the man had just returned from his mother-in-law's memorial service? To be honest, this is unlikely judging my his attire. Any man who attends in a memorial service in a suede jacket and black t-shirt is not in mourning.

Friday, July 17, 2009

SKIING

George and Sammy are fishing on a boat. George lets Sammy know that both of their wives have suddenly announced they have gone skiing. Sammy is glad at this news as they will now have some peace for their fishing. Just then Lynne comes past on water skis being pulled by a 'Mantha driven speedboat. To confirm this sighting, George tells Sammy they are water skiing.

It is a much nicer day than the last time George and Sammy went fishing as George has opted for denim shorts this time. The water is calm and the fishing is good. George announces their wives disappearance in in a very strange way. Sammy must have asked a question beforehand for George to talk in that way. Something along the lines of 'What was all that talking when I was in the toilet just before we left?' That way George could answer in this manner.

Now, as George and Sammy are together and they talk of their wives being together, they must be on one of their famous weekends away together. It happens about once every other month, usually involving water in some way. With this now being fact, Sammy's reaction is very odd. Does he truly believe that the wives, Lynne and 'Mantha, have actually gone skiing in mountains? Unless they were in the Highlands or near a dry ski slope, then he must think they have actually hopped on a plane to go skiing. This is a preposterous thought. Lynne is known to do wild things but abandoning a holiday to go skiing is a little far fetched. Maybe Sammy was so incensed by his dementia at their previous trip that all he wants is some peace.

Lynne's water skiing looks quite good, not to mention 'Mantha's speed boat driving skills as she drives very close to George and Sammy's boat with only one hand on the steering wheel. This leads to another assumption that they have done this before, or at least had some very intense training this morning. So Sammy is even more foolish to think they'd booked a ski pass on the mountains. But he's not thinking that, he's just thinking about another day's fishing ruined.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

FORGETTING

George and Sammy are out for a day's fishing. Sammy remarks that he always seems to be forgetting three things. After George enquires what these three things are, Sammy replies with names and faces. As Sammy only mentioned two things, George asks what the third is. Sammy cannot remember.

Men like to fish. It is relaxing for them, they can bond and as tranquility is a main ingredient, awkward silences are embraced. Sammy, who is now turning into Frank Zappa but is sensibly dressed in wellington boots, fills one of these silences by saying that he seems to be forgetting things, but he can't forget things that much as he is quite specific with the number of things he is forgetting. He knows full well that he is forgetting names and faces, but with the amount of people in this town it is forgiveable. Sammy is usually drunk when meeting these people and everyone knows when you get to Sammy's age you only need to know the name of your wife and best friend. Sammy's forgetfulness is not causing a problem yet, although we wonder now if he'd been to the Barker's Summer party before.

The fact that he has forgotten the third thing that he keeps forgetting makes it redundant. Does it matter that he can't remember it? He knows he has to address the names and faces problem, perhaps with the use of a notebook, but if he truly has forgotten the very thing he keeps forgetting then maybe it doesn't matter. However, Sammy may descend into a spiral by continually forgetting the very thing he keeps forgetting. This may be a philosophical matter and could drive him mad.

There is one more explanation for the final forgetting. Just as George asks Sammy about the third item, Sammy appears to get a bite on his line. This violent downforce on the rod that he holds may have assisted in his mild amnesia. Suddenly his train of thought was lost as he bravely grapples with the mighty beast of the deep. George doesn't seem too concerned so neither should we. Alzheimer's takes a while to take hold so I think Sammy has a good few years yet until he forgets his own name and face.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

THE BARKER'S SUMMER PARTY


George and Sammy are enjoying a drink outside. George remarks that the Barker's summer parties are hugely enjoyable. Sammy asks whether this is because the food and drink served is good, to which George replies that he has never noticed due to the sheer volume of topless women around the pool.

We join George and Sammy at the Barker's summer party. George has decided to stick with his boiler suit whereas Sammy has opted for a more seasonable all white suit. Sammy is either so uncontrollably drunk or has only gone straight to the bar as he has not noticed the plethora of topless women, one of which being his wife 'Mantha. George knows the ins and outs of these parties so has grabbed a fine spot facing the pool, whereas Sammy has the less desirable back to the pool spot, thus impeding his view.

Once again, George is ogling Sammy's wife without Sammy even knowing. Also in his view are two severely jaundiced women akin to the scientist at the last summer party they attended. The drink must flow so freely that people's livers are literally dying as they lay around the pool.

Finally, why does George shout those last words? He and Sammy were having a nice conversation and then he decides to bellow the words 'Can't say I've ever noticed!' All the other husbands around the pool are now desperately shushing him as he lets the secret out that they all go there just to look at each other's wives' breasts. All except Sammy, who has never been to this party before. If he is invited again, which he may be because he is either a new friend of the Barkers or a guest of George, he will know where to sit. That is if George hasn't ruined it for everyone.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

JURASSIC PARK

Lynne is watering plants in her back garden in a low cut top and hot pants. She wonders to herself that Sammy and old Mrs Warboys don't get on. She reasons with this notion by also wondering about the time Sammy thought he had seen her in the park. Just then two young boys run past with toy dinosaurs and Lynne, in her startled state, yells out 'Jurassic Park'.

We can only assume that Lynne has recently seen either Sammy or old Mrs Warboys. Why else would she be thinking about them. This isn't the same as Lynne's thoughts of Larry when she was undoubtedly power walking past his house; Lynne is in her own garden and Sammy doesn't live that close, certainly not next door anyway. And who is this Mrs Warboys that Sammy has such a problem with her? Sammy's next door neighbour? A local busybody? She must have said something about Sammy's drinking. Maybe it was that time that he took off all his clothes whilst smashed and sang My Bonnie Lies Over The Ocean in the middle of the night. Whatever it was, it caused them to fall out, and that's all that matters at the moment.

But Lynne needs to justify her own thought to herself, or at least play down what she now sees as a controversial internal monologue. Now, until Lynne sees the toy dinosaurs, what was she about to say? Safari park? If she was meant to say Jurassic Park then once again we have an extraordinary coincidence. So much so that Lynne should go and have a lie down. What are the chances of thinking something like Jurassic Park and then two boys come past with toy dinosaurs.

There is only one explanation: Jurassic Park was on television, the boys saw it and decided to dig out their old dinosaur toys and at the same time whilst Lynne was thinking about Sammy, who had recently phoned to speak to George but had forgotten he was at work, she remembered that she had meant to record Jurassic Park for George but she forgot.

But George and Lynne live in the 70s, so it is just a coincidence. Have a lie down Lynne.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

727

Lynne and an unnamed friend are having a conversation. Lynne's friend mentions that she went out with a jumbo jet pilot once. Lynne asks what sort of plane it was that he flew. Lynne's friend misunderstands the question and gives Lynne a rating for the pilot of 7 out of 10.

Are Lynne and her friend in an airport? Why are they hanging out in an airport? Is this happening just before Lynne meets George? If so, is this friend driving them back or is it a chance meeting? Or does Lynne even know her and is just having a conversation to pass the time until George's plane lands?

A 727 is not a jumbo jet and Lynne should really know this. It is pretty common knowledge that a 747 is often referred to as a jumbo jet. What is most confusing however that this woman mistakes a simple question about aircraft for insight into the sexual prowess of the aforementioned pilot. If this is a stranger that Lynne has just met, I would think she would be polite enough not to ask about the performance of past boyfriends. This is the sort of conversation good friends have. That said, the woman does think it's that question and answers. However, what did she think Lynne meant? That she would rate him 727 out of 1000? 727 doesn't make sense as a question unless Lynne was asking about the type of plane that the pilot flew, which is exactly what she is asking. This other woman was going to tell Lynne her rating of the pilot no matter what Lynne asked. Lynne needs to get out of this conversation and go and meet George, unless she wants to hear about the sexual history of a stranger.

This is based on the assumption that this is a stranger. If this is a good friend of Lynne's then they are hanging out in an airport. If this is the way Lynne passes the time then someone needs to tell George.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

WHEEL

George is changing a tyre on his Mercedes when Lynne, dressed in white hotpants asks what the best invention ever is. George, with his mind on mechanics, answers the wheel. Lynne says that the inventor of the wheel was stupid but the inventor of the other three was the genius. George, out of frustration and contempt, chases Lynne.

George is changing the tyre on his small Mercedes, but why? Did he get a puncture? If that is the case isn't the story of George getting a puncture more interesting? That would also mean that he drove home on his spare tyre. Not illegal, but interesting. It's obvious that George knows a) where the spare tyre on a small Mercedes is and b) how to change a tyre because he owns a pair of overalls, or a boiler suit if you will. Why would George have bought a boiler suit if he didn't have the intention to use it now and again?

Lynne asks a perfectly viable question. George however answers a little bit too quickly. He needs to think about a question like that. It's not easy. Anyway, he comes out with 'The Wheel' and, quite frankly, it's a good answer. Lynne on the other hand gets completely the wrong end of the stick. The inventor of the wheel was not stupid. Maybe she has a small point that the inventor of the wheel should have immediately used more than one but if the wheel itself has been invented then it can't be invented again. What she means is that the inventor of the wheel should have had the idea to put 4 together. And what about bikes and trikes? They don't use 4 wheels but they are still perfectly viable methods of transport.

George chases Lynne out of frustration but he'd better go back and check that tyre is on properly. In the space of one conversation he goes from having no wheel to securely fastening it. It looks as though he only secured one bolt before he leaves it. He'll be in for nasty surprise if he drives off for work tomorrow without a firmly secured wheel.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

NARROWBOAT

George and Lynne are on holiday on a barge. Lynne thinks it is a great holiday and George agrees. Lynne comments that she understand why it is called a narrowboat as she sees that it is narrow. George agrees as it means he can press up against Lynne.

It's surprising that Sammy and 'Mantha aren't with them but I suppose it's dangerous for Sammy to go near water when he's smashed, and you need some time away once in a while.

George once again seems to need an excuse to fornicate with his liberally dressed wife. Before he tried to use 'research' as an excuse to be intimate with his wife, now he uses the width, or lack of, of the barge to press up against his wife. Just give her some flowers and come home late from work. And now he has one of those awkward stiffies that he'll have to hide.

Monday, July 6, 2009

ARRIVALS AND DEPARTURES

Lynne is greeting George at the airport as George returns from a business trip. George asks Lynne if anything has happened when he has been away. After Lynne reels off the bad news from the papers, George runs to the departures section of the airport in distress to get a flight out.

George has returned from what we can only assume is a business trip. If it was a stag do or men's holiday with Sammy we would know about it; and George is wearing a suit which is a dead giveaway. It is a run of the mill business trip, but what sort of business trip can the town's best property lawyer be going on? Surely all his work is in the town. Unless it was a seminar on property law, we may be wrong about George's profession. What could he do that requires him to go on a business trip? Well, anything to be honest.

George has also returned to the only airport in the country that welcomes you to Britain. As George and Lynne live in the 70s, George naturally asks what has been happening as there is no internet and the newspaper in Europe arrives 3 days later, presumably because it comes by boat.

You would think that George is joking by running to the departure lounge in a sort of 'this country is so bad I need to get out, ha ha only joking' way but there is real distress on his face. He literally wants to leave the country and he is willing to leave everything behind to do it. George, you have a wife, a house and a job, not to mention friends and membership to a gym, don't run away from all that. Would George really have paid for a new plane ticket? It would be about 45 minutes into the flight when he realises how foolish he's been. But as the airport is so small it has the arrivals right next to the departures, any flight he gets would be landing in 45 minutes, and Luton is no place to forget your worries.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

LARRY

Lynne is power walking on her own. She thinks about a friend, Larry, who used to be a detective and used to always chasing leads. Just then, Larry comes past being pulled by his four dogs. Lynne remarks that things haven't changed and Larry cries help as he is being pulled by the dogs.

Something must have happened because Lynne was previously seen power walking with two other women, and now she is power walking alone. Maybe she was fed up with all the gossiping which led to less walking, or maybe George's comments really hit home. Anyway, she's out on her own.

Why is Lynne thinking about Larry? She must be walking near his house and thought 'Larry lives round here.' Initially it seemed like a remarkable coincidence that Lynne would randomly be thinking about Larry and then he comes past, but if she is walking near his house then it would seem feasible that she would see him. You would expect that Lynne, having just thought about Larry, would then say having just seen him, 'Wow! What a coincidence! I was just thinking about Larry, a friend who I haven't seen for a while, and there is with his dogs,' rather than make a quip. Maybe the opportunity was too good to pass up considering she just thought about Larry using the word leads and then he comes by with his dogs. How often does that happen?

Who is Lynne talking to? She thought the first comment and then decided to say her quip out loud, thus making the quip redundant. Any passer-by, of which there are none, wouldn't have heard Lynne's initial thought and therefore would assume that the woman was quite mad. And poor old Larry, sweating inside his three piece tweed suit. Lynne decides to make a comment whilst Larry is clearly distressed. His dog walker must be on holiday because he must be used to walking all four of his dogs. Lynne, help the man!