Wednesday, September 30, 2009

SURROGATE

George and Lynne are out and about when George comments that a passing lady with triplets, Sue, has got her figure back after the birth. Lynne tells him that a surrogate carried the babies for her. George asks Lynne what the surrogate got out of it. Lynne replies that she got morning sickness, a bad back and stretch marks.

George must feel pretty embarrassed. He knows Sue, he must do because he knows her by name, yet he has not remembered that she had a surrogate to carry her babies. Did he not know this? Has he seen Sue recently? Perhaps Lynne just told him that Sue was having triplets. George, being a 1970s man, did not ask about Sue because quite frankly he doesn't care. Another one of Lynne's half friends is doing something with her life. All George wants to do is fish and he is subjected to more inane gossip. Now he's just making conversation when he sees her and he finds himself completely out of his depth. Luckily Lynne doesn't get angry. Off the hook this time George.

Lynne seems to think that the surrogate mother was not given any financial compensation for the use of her womb. It must have been a friend who has donated her body out of the goodness of her heart. Either way, Lynne certainly has no desire to have children any time soon as she has only listed the negatives of childbirth. I suspect she also doesn't want to give up the cocktail parties, city breaks and relaxation time. George probably doesn't want Lynne to go through childbirth either, hence him asking about the price of a surrogate. He'll have to find out a different way.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

POST

The post comes through the letterbox and Lynne tells George. Moments later, Lynne collects the mail and asks George why she always has to pick it up. George makes out that he doesn't know but it's because he can see his wife's knickers.

Todays post consists of 7 letters. As this is before email, we would expect some of these letters will be actual correspondence with friends. A letter from a friend who no longer lives in the area, a thank you note from Ken for coming to his party, an invite for next year's Barker's Summer Party. One letter has an air of mystery about it. This one is the letter without an address on it, yet it does have a stamp. How did the postman know to deliver it to George and Lynne's? The only explanation would be that the sender address is the same as another going to George and Lynne's that day. Maybe it was Sammy and 'Mantha's invite to the Barker's Summer Party. They made such an impression that they have been invited again, but the Barkers did not know their address. Why they didn't just phone George to find out their address, I don't know.

George wants to look at his wife's bum. This is a woman who seldom wears clothes so why he is grasping at straws to find ways to see her in compromising positions. This is similar to the barge incident. It must be a ritual that he can't let go of. Ever since they were first together, George has always looked at Lynne's bum when she bent down to pick up the post and he just can't let it go. Either that or he had a bad experience with a letter with no address before. He once opened it to find it was an envelope full of razor blades from a disgruntled postman. The postman should know that he should have written an address on the envelope in order to cover his tracks. But maybe his handwriting is so unique that it would have given him away.

Monday, September 28, 2009

SWEET MUSIC

An unnamed woman is flirting with George who is looking at the engine of his car. She says that she and George could make sweet music together. George tells her that he is married. The woman continues and asks George what his wife has that she doesn't. George tells her his wife has a bucket of water just as Lynne pops out of the window and drenches the woman.

This woman certainly has a lot of confidence. She's just wandered past and decided to come onto George. There is a time and a place for flirting and it is not when a man is pretending to understand engines. He is looking for the input of men here. Or perhaps she really is a musician and she thinks George is too. Does she think he has the hands of a harpist? The fingers of a flautist? Whichever it is, she is right to distract him. If those hands are as delicate as she thinks they are, they have no place under a bonnet. This could be a concert career ruined before it starts.

George is asked what Lynne has that this woman doesn't. An obvious answer would be his wedding ring. Whatever it is that George thinks that Lynne has that's so unique it certainly isn't underwear, well not today anyway. No, of all the things that George picks as Lynne's unique selling point is a bucket of water. If that is the only thing he can think of then it is probably him that the bucket of water is meant for. She was idly mopping the bathroom when she overheard this conversation. Upon hearing that George thinks that she is the same as any other tuppenny tramp but with bucket, she promptly aims the water at her husband. The woman however has just moved into position for her third offensive, probably involving complimenting George on his garden, when she is inadvertently drenched. How is the woman going to explain to her orchestra group that she has not only failed to recruit the man they believe to be the saviour of classical music but that she also is soaked to the skin?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

SECOND PRIZE

George and Lynne are checking into a hotel. The receptionist welcomes them and George confirms their reservation by saying that they won second prize in this very hotel. The receptionist asks what the first prize was. Lynne replies that it was only one night in this hotel in which there are cobwebs and an asleep porter.

A simple 'I'm George, I believe we have a reservation' would have sufficed. To which the receptionist might have replied 'Oh our competition winners, how lovely to see you.' But maybe it wouldn't have sufficed as reservations are usually made in the surname. Although George and Lynne's surname still remains a mystery it is sometimes common place for couples to book a romantic retreat in a fake name in order to spice up the weekend. This may not have been on George's mind when he entered the competition in the local paper or a local raffle.

This hotel should know that they have offered up prizes in a competition. This receptionist may not be the proprietor, although it is usually the case with small hotels that the receptionist does own the hotel, but the hotel is a little silly to offer up two prizes in a raffle and have the one night stay as the first prize. It is not really the right way to drum up business. Unless of course the organisers of the raffle knew how bad the hotel was and decided to switch the prizes so the winners would only have to spend one night. If that was the case the other prizes must have been pretty poor. Wouldn't the free cut and blow dry have been a better prize? We can only imagine the third prize must have been a broken record player.

To be fair, the hotel does look pretty run down. There are cobwebs everywhere. The hotel really should clean those, especially as they know they are expecting at least two guests this weekend. The porter is asleep and what looks like the lift is out of order. This hotel should be ashamed of themselves. But I suppose it's a vicious circle. They can't the guests in because the hotel is in a state and they can't sort the hotel out because they don't have any money from guests. That said, a feather duster and a cup of coffee for the porter doesn't cost much.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

HOBBY

Lynne is at the swimming pool with an unnamed friend. She comments to her friend that she thinks George needs a hobby. The friend says that her art class is popular. Lynne is interested so asks her what she teaches, to which the woman replies body painting with her as a subject. Back home Lynne tells George his hobby will be stamp collecting. George is unhappy at Lynne for this decision.

Whose decision is it that George needs a hobby? I would say it is Lynne's as she is constantly seeing him lazing around the garden with a short drink. It's obviously not gardening that he wants to do so I suppose Lynne has given him some sort of ultimatum; get a hobby or do the gardening. For some reason George can't come up with a hobby himself. What were his previous ideas? Speedway? Parkour?

George, whose jaundice is subsiding, was so excited about the idea of art that he bought one of those special tables and lights that designers use. Now it's being used for something as dull as stamp collecting. He's obviously not excited about philately, however after a very short period he has amounted a generous collection. Perhaps he stopped off at the post office for a couple of limited edition display packs to get him going.

So what is body painting? It could be just painting pictures of bodies but isn't that called life class? It's without doubt that this woman will be nude in this class, but body painting sounds like that the students will be putting paint on bodies. Whether she shows them how it's done on her and then the students paint themselves or they just put paint on her body is still undecided. Either way Lynne is right to stop it but she could have thought of something a bit more adventurous. Cliff diving? Snake wrestling?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

TWO

Lynne arrives at Ken's party in a revealing dress and promptly thanks him for the invite. Ken tells Lynne that he is glad the two of them could come. Lynne is confused and explains to Ken that George isn't here as George has had to work late. Ken says that he wasn't exactly talking about George whilst looking at Lynne's cleavage.

This must be a Friday. George is working late so he has been to work today rather than having to go into to work as he may do on a Saturday. Ken has organised a very lavish cocktail party, not something he could do for a weekend as it would be quite difficult to ask his friends to get dressed up on a week night.

Lynne has arrived in a very posh dress carrying a bottle of wine. As Ken has invited Lynne specifically to stare at her breasts he had to orchestrate that she would wear something revealing. It is either the cocktail party we mentioned earlier, or Ken has organised some sort of James Bond themed murder mystery evening. He's also had to invite a lot of other friends just for a glimpse of cleavage. Let's hope he actually likes them as it will be quite a dull evening for him if he has to put up with mere acquaintances just because Lynne is showing chest.

Now, is George actually going to turn up? He's working late that's for sure but how late? Has a new case just come in? Has the deadline he's got to meet run into some complications? It all depends when he gets out. He can't turn up at Ken's looking all disheveled after a hard day in the office. He'll have to go home, freshen up and then change into his dinner jacket. Surely after a hard day at the office, all he'll want to do is relax in his loose fitting pyjamas. Then again he may want to unwind with a couple of pints with Sammy. Either way he won't want to drive across town to a stuffy cocktail party hosted by a man who has an obvious crush on his wife. Let him have his fix; it's George who'll be getting the private viewing later on.

Monday, September 21, 2009

SEE THROUGH

George and Lynne are out and see a lady getting undressed through a window. George comments that she might not know the curtains are see through and that someone should tell her. Later, whilst getting ready for bed herself, Lynne comments that she thinks the lady does it deliberately and that she wouldn't dream of doing anything like that, even though she is wearing a sheer night dress.

George's comment certainly sticks in Lynne's mind. They could just be going out to, or perhaps coming back from an evening out. By George's attire we'll say that it's a cinema evening. During this time Lynne has been thinking about the undressing lady. If they were just leaving in the first pane then it must have ruined her enjoyment of the film. She was constantly nudging George trying to tell him that she must do it deliberately, with George shushing her. The other people also got annoyed with Lynne's whispering and Terms Of Endearment was actually ruined for a few.

Now they are home, Lynne has remembered because she could have easily mentioned it to George in the car home. George was probably waxing lyrical about Shirley MacLaine's performance. He was right to as it was Oscar winning. George also predicted Oscar wins for Sally Field and Meryl Streep but wasn't impressed by Diane Keaton. This last one may be because he 'doesn't get Woody Allen.'

George, basking in his ability to pick Best Actress nominees, has donned some rather fetching pyjamas. The jacket of these pyjamas doesn't have any buttons though so it must be some sort of dressing gown. I can only assume Lynne bought these for George. He's not a man who would take time over a pyjama purchase. Maybe that means he did buy them himself. It was only when he got home did he realise that the jacket had no buttons. In his stubbornness he has decided against returning them and now wears the dressing gown top for pre bed conversation but discards it just before he falls asleep, thus keeping him cool in the nighttime without the uncomfortable feeling of a dressing gown pyjama jacket riding up around his back. He will have to reconsider this night garment when winter sets in as he could get rather chilly.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

ENERGY

George is talking to his neighbour over the fence. He tells the neighbour that his doctor has told him that he has the energy of a young man. The neighbour, who looks weak, asks him how he does it. Lynne butts in and says it is because he conserves his energy while George enjoys a drink and a paper.

Initially it seems this neighbour lives on the other side of George and Lynne's house to the man with the pencil moustache. However, when the angle changes it could be that this man does live with the man with the pencil moustache. On closer inspection, the fence has been white washed here whereas before it had a natural wood finish. Maybe the weedy man painted it and the man with the pencil moustache is his younger brother who has learning difficulties. Or perhaps they are lovers. The weedy man is certainly striking some effeminate poses. The hand on hip posture is a dead giveaway and he's far more interest in talking to George and hasn't even passed at Lynne.

Once again, George is neglecting his gardening duties, much to the annoyance of Lynne. It's all very well George refusing to hire a gardener, but that lawn isn't going to mow itself. Make a decision George - either get a gardener or pull your weight. Let's use that energy you've been talking about.

So George went to the doctor to have an energy check? I'm not sure there is really such thing. I can understand a blood pressure and cholesterol check but is the doctor really going to ask George to perform 20 squat thrusts and then write a presentation on the Tudors? To be honest, George should get a new doctor. This one has failed to spot George's acute jaundice. If he doesn't get a new liver he'll be dead by Christmas.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

GARDENER

George and Lynne are relaxing in their garden. Lynne comments on how overgrown it is and suggest they get a gardener. George disagrees as the last gardener just stared at Lynne. George says that he should be the only one that stares at Lynne.

What happened to the previous gardening rota? The last time we saw this garden, Lynne was slaving away whilst George thought about his socks. I suppose Lynne has now had enough of this and has decided to lounge around in her underwear instead. George is sitting in the same sort of deckchair that we saw before, albeit with a different fabric back. No drink for George this time; perhaps it is too early.

How big is this garden? From different angles we have seen the next door neighbour's fence but also miles of untarnished sky. It seems that no other house backs on to George's semi. The garden has a number of trees and overgrown grass, so maybe it does need a gardener. If they get one, they should tell Sammy and 'Mantha about it as their garden is messing with Sammy's body clock.

Ok, we've put this off long enough so let's discuss it. Has George just not noticed the stares of the public and the outrageous flirting of Lynne? Just this week a builder whistled a non de-script tune at Lynne. Earlier a number of men stopped digging to stare at Lynne in her hotpants. I'm sorry George but everyone ogles at Lynne. She is an attractive woman and people will look at her. A gardener is the least of his worries. It is obvious that Lynne does not work and will lounge around the garden all day. A gardener is most likely to work during the day, and as it seems to be perpetually hot in Wimbledon, Lynne is most likely to be sunbathing topless. It is well known in the trade that gardeners are sex starved perverts, so the last thing they need is a topless Lynne while they are working. George has two options: either go to some sort of gay gardeners agency, or build Lynne a sun trap tree house in the many trees in his garden. But of course for this he may need a gardener. It's a vicious cycle.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

GOLD MINE

George and Lynne are driving into a garden party. George comments on the host Ted's house by saying that his business has turned into a goldmine. Lynne, upon exiting the car, says that his new wife Sandra has struck lucky as she was always a gold-digger.

George is driving fast into the advertised garden party. Ted seems to think that bunting and balloons to advertise your own garden party is a little low-brow and prefers a simple large sign. It would seem that Ted has under sold the garden party to his select friends and is hoping for some drop ins. He is advertising it akin to a Car boot sale or Farmer's Market. It seems a little foolish; anyone could come in and eat his sandwiches and drink his Cava.

Ted is a self-employed man who has come into some money. His business, that he owns, is going through a significant purple patch which has enabled him to not only throw a lavish garden party open to members of the public, but also buy a brand new house. Well done Ted. However he has neglected to employ any sort of valet system for the guests' cars. George has noticed this but as he is late, and thus he was driving fast, he decides to just park anywhere. He is in danger of driving straight into the revellers and gets very close. But he decides that the patio is the best place for his BMW.

Finally let us gaze at George's BMW. Business must be good for him too as he has a personalised number plate. The number plate reads 7 BPF. What could it possibly mean? 7 Beats Per Furlong? 7 British Pounds Fine? Or it could just be the cheapest plate he could find.

Monday, September 14, 2009

ANGLING

George and Lynne are out for a walk by the river. George notices Ben, the new Angling Club secretary is fishing nearby. Just then he catches a large fish which George is impressed with and confirms this by saying "What a catch!" Lynne agrees but she is referring to Ben and not the fish.

George, being a man verging on middle age, prefers to tuck his t-shirt into his jeans even when out for a casual stroll. He therefore can't be too hot because if he were he may opt for untucking his t-shirt to allow more air flow to his torso area. By tucking in, he minimises the draft brought on by the extra wind from the river.

George is a keen, if unsuccessful, fisherman but is always amazed at anyone who catches any fish at all, may be due to his propensity to only catch footwear. The fish Ben has caught is of moderate size but I don't think warrants a wow. That is, of course, unless no one has caught a fish on this river since 1912. The fish that was caught is now of folklore. Some say it was 10 feet long, others a sardine.

Ben is a man whose casual attire consists of a waistcoat and beaded necklace. He has the stance of a young David Essex and it is not hard to see why Lynne is attracted to him. Ben knows no rules. He lives free and eats what he catches. He most likely lives on a barge and regularly takes local young women back to it for a night cap, where he will unceremoniously conquer them leaving them wanting more. No kiss good bye for these girls, Ben is already opening the lock for his next adventure. He has become more grounded recently by becoming the Angling Club secretary. This position will only be short lived though as he looks like he is keeping that fish, and the sport of angling involves putting the fish back in the water. As soon as George reports back, Ben will be long gone, with the memory of Lynne's smile keeping him company on those long canal nights.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

SHOES

George and Lynne are out and about. Lynne is wearing high heels and George comments that he doesn't see the point of her wearing them because they are bad for her feet. Lynne says they are good for morale while some men look at her.

Once again George is too hot for his coat and again he is casually throwing it over his shoulder. He has dressed smartly so he has most likely come from work to meet Lynne. Lynne is dressed up so perhaps they are going to dinner tonight. We hope George transfers the jacket to his forearm before entering the restaurant. We can forgive George for having his jacket with him because he has to dress smartly for work. His job as a top property solicitor requires him to meet clients on a daily basis.

One would assume that George and Lynne are walking in front of a pub or tavern because there are men sitting at tables outside. It must be a very popular pub because it seems that it has its own multistory car park in the background. It must be one of those super pubs.

Lynne is saying that the shoes are good for morale because she believes that they make men look at her in way which suggests they are attracted to her. The men in the last panel are certainly attracted to Lynne, whether its her shoes or dress that has caught their attention is debatable, but the men in the second panel seem to be attracted to her for a totally different reason. By the way one man is wearing a low cut back top and another wearing a vest and choker it suggests that they like her outfit for its fashion sense rather than the way it shows off her cleavage. So this is a gay super pub with its own multistory car park. Wimbledon really was rather cosmopolitan in the late 70s.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

ACCESSORY

George and Lynne are out and about. They see a lady coming out of a red sports car holding a small dog. Lynne says that this lady, Kate, has the dog as a fashion accessory. After seeing two different men come to see the dog, George wonders whether it is actually an accessory to attract men.

Today is a much more casual affair. George is wearing a t-shirt under what looks like a suede jacket and Lynne is wearing a nice dress. This is attire for shopping, maybe a light lunch or an impromptu dinner. Therefore George and Lynne aren't going anywhere formal. So, on their way to, or back from, wherever it is they have planned to be they see Kate. Kate is getting out of her car in front of some town houses. Maybe she is going home, or to a local vet.

There is no doubt that this woman with her small dog is certainly attracting men. Whether it is the woman or the dog which is attracting the men is a different question. Stereotype would say that gay men would be attracted by small dogs, but then again these men could be heterosexual and are using the small dog as a conversation starter in order to talk to this attractive woman. It certainly helps to break the ice to compliment someone on their dog, or enquire whether they found Cesar dog food hard to find when it changed its name from Mr Dog.

These men be thinking about using this dog as a way to talk to Kate, but they don't actually seem to be saying anything. The first man just stands quite close to Kate without saying anything and Kate doesn't even seem to notice him. By the time the second man comes up, who's fashion icon is Art Garfunkel, the first man is well on his way out of there. Art gets closer to Kate but still stays silent. He's using the technique of hoping that a woman can hear your breathing and hope she turns round and notices you. We can only imagine how close the next man will get whilst Art is trudging away, cursing himself for not saying those two simple words - "Nice dog."

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

BUILDING SITES

George and Lynne are walking by some men in hard hats when one of them whistles. George looks a bit grumpy and comments to Lynne that he thinks that she hates walking past building sites. Lynne smiles and says that she may hate walking past them, but certainly not as much as George does.

This is a building site. We have been told this from what George says. However the whistling man is in the foreground and the men around the wheelbarrow are in the background, which suggests that George and Lynne are walking right through a building site. This is very dangerous. They are not wearing hard hats or brown coats with high visibility stripes on them, therefore the builders must know they are liable for the safety of the George and Lynne. The man in the foreground knows this is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Normally we would assume that the foreground builder, not to be confused with a foreman, is whistling a wolf-whistle. Now, even though my knowledge of reading music is pretty poor I am sure that the tune he is whistling is not a wolf-whistle. A wolf-whistle will consist of three notes, two of which are joined together. The tune the builder is whistling has eight notes. It starts with three quick notes together, which look pretty much the same, followed by two close together which go up. Finally it has one short note followed by 2 short notes going down. So just a tune really. It's a wonder why George and Lynne have such a problem with the man's whistling. Perhaps it's just awful and Lynne is a purist of music while George is more of a fan of the blues; neither of which should contain any whistling.

The man in the last pane must be the foreman. He is not wearing a hard hat but a cap instead. This may show his seniority as he rarely actually on site but stays mainly in the site office looking at designs and making phone calls. He also wears a different shirt to other builders on the site. But why is he smiling? Perhaps he also heard the whistling and is about to join in for a communal Roger Whittaker recital. It's either that or Over My Shoulder by Mike & The Mechanics.

Monday, September 7, 2009

CHASING

George and Lynne are out walking in the park. They bump into a couple to whom Lynne asks where they met. The woman says that they met in that very park whilst walking their dogs. Lynne assumes that the dogs started chasing each other thus leading to a meeting. The man tells Lynne that the dogs were actually on leads. The woman says that it was Kevin, who is the man, and her who were chasing each other. Then Kevin chases her.

George is wearing a tie so it is likely he has come straight from work, either that or a Cars concert. It was probably a lot cooler earlier but the weather has got a lot warmer so George has decided to carry his jacket instead of wearing it. He has gone for the very informal over the shoulder fling rather than the more formal carefully draped over the forearm. This is understandable for a walk in the park, I would expect that a trip to the theatre would need a more formal jacket carrying technique.

Now we've seen this woman before. She looks remarkably like this woman from the roller rink. This woman is also seen with a man she recently met called Kevin. There are two explanations for this. The first is that this is a different man called Kevin. This would be strange for a woman to meet two men called Kevin in the same week, but not impossible. The other explanation is that this is the same man called Kevin. There are a few problems with this explanation. The first is that Lynne already knows the story of how this woman met Kevin, so why would she ask her again? The second is that this woman is obviously a liar. She gave a completely different account of her and Kevin's meeting less than one week ago. The third is that the man has longer hair than the previous Kevin, but maybe it grew.

Perhaps Lynne knows this woman is a compulsive liar and has spotted her far off. She has then turned to George and said "Look there's that woman. Every time I ask her how she met her boyfriend she gives a completely different account. First time she met him in a shop, next time she met him at a concert. I wonder what it will be this time." Finally, not only is this woman a liar, but she just leaves her dogs with George and Lynne. I bet they're not even her dogs.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

OLD BOOT

George has just returned from fishing. Lynne asks him if he caught anything. George replies that he only caught an old boot which he is carrying but he'd like to keep it in case he catches the other one in the pair. Lynne sighs and puts it with the other footwear that George must have caught on previous fishing trips.

Lynne is only wearing underwear and a dressing gown. This means that is must be early morning or late evening as any self respecting adult, which Lynne is, would never wear underwear in the middle of the day. It seems light outside so George must have gone for a very early morning fishing trip. A trip to the canal at 6 in the morning can be invigorating and George feels a lot better for it. He looks happy and not at all disappointed that he didn't catch any fish today.

George doesn't ever seem to have caught any fish though. The only time he has ever come close to catching a fish is when Sammy felt a hard tug on his fishing rod. So it's Sammy who is the fishing master. He has a secret bait that he puts on the end of the line; it's a barbecue Wotsit. George doesn't use this bait as Sammy has kept it a secret. What does George use? By the look of it, nothing at all. Or is it just his location of fishing? If Sammy is getting catches but George isn't then it's bait and technique, but somehow I get the impression that Sammy wasn't part of this trip.

So George continues to fish on his own only catching shoes and boots. Does he realise that these trips are failures? Lynne doesn't have the heart to tell him. Maybe George is a little deranged? After all these unsuccessful trips you would think he would rethink his location. But Lynne isn't being fair. Looking at this collection of boots we see that George has managed to catch a pair. The brown pair in the middle. Maybe this was all he wanted to do and once he did he would then move on to a different part of the canal. It seems George will continue his mission to find a pair until the day he dies.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

FALLING OUT

Lynne is at the gym with an unnamed friend. During a turn on the exercise bikes, Lynne tells her friend that Robbie and Ruthie have had another falling out. Her friend is upset at this news but asks if they will get back together. Lynne says that they won't because they were in a hot air balloon.

This is a tragic tale which we are fortunate enough to hear from Lynne rather than seeing the actual incident. Robbie and Ruthie have had a turbulent relationship. Who knows how many arguments they have had along the way. The friend isn't surprised about this latest spat, but she is upset about it. To the friend, it is almost as if this may be the last argument they will have as it spells the impending end to their relationship.

However, she did not think that the end would come this way, with the two of them falling to their death from a hot air balloon. The tragic irony was that they weren't even arguing at the time. Robbie had taken Ruthie up in a hot air balloon to propose to her. He went down on one knee and produced a ring. She said yes. They hugged and due to their over exuberant embrace they stumble and fall over the side of the basket.

The friend is visibly stunned by the news, but Lynne seems expressionless. She says it quite cold, but not in a joke. Perhaps she had a part in it, or perhaps she never liked Ruthie and Robbie. No, there would be a wry smile as she turned away from her friend. This is the look of a stone cold killer. Lynne rigged the hot air balloon to have a dodgy side. They didn't stumble, they leant on the basket and it gave way because Lynne had tampered with it. This is a secret Lynne will take with her to her grave for if she lets it out her life will be over.

There's a lot of darkness in the lives of suburbanites.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

CHOOSE

Lynne is out with an unnamed friend. The friend tells Lynne that her fiance took her to an expensive shop and told her to choose whatever she liked. Lynne says that this was nice. However, her friend tells her that this fiance is now an ex-fiance as she chose Kevin who works there. Kevin shows up.

What are Lynne and her friend doing? They are near some trees so it may be a park. They are dressed as if it were summer so the weather must be fine. By the action of the man on the right it looks like they are either ice skating or roller skating. It can't be ice skating as its summer so they must be roller skating, or in-line skating. The green floor suggest they are on grass, the worst surface to attempt to roller skate on. Perhaps it is a green rubber type flooring that they use on children's playgrounds. Strange that the roller skating rink would be populated by the older members of the community. Everyone seems at least 30. Maybe the kids are too cool for that. Or maybe they're all in school.

At first read, this friend of Lynne seems like every other of her friends who is as flakey as the next and would rather go home with a man than pay for her share of the bill at a restaurant. But if we look closely, this lady is much more of a romantic. She is taken by her fiance to a shop, not just any shop but an expensive shop, and told to have anything she wants. Any other of these friends probably would've found some loophole and asked to have to top floor or the delivery van or something ridiculously expensive just to prove she has the richest boyfriend in the area. This lady on the other hand believes in love at first sight.

When she saw Kevin labelling items in that expensive shop she knew she had to have him. However many years she spent with her fiance now meant nothing compared to that look that Kevin gave her as their eyes met across an Edwardian chaise lounge. When their hands touched over a Victorian silver tea set, she shivered. Even the prospect of driving away in a Rolls Royce was not tempting enough to not spend the rest of her life with Kevin, who worked there. You see, this woman has given up a life of jewels and presents to be with someone who works in a shop. Lynne looks happy, as she finally has a friend who she can be proud of. Spare a thought for the fiance though, who has probably retelling the exact story to George and Sammy in the pub.