Monday, November 30, 2009

PLAY A ROUND

George and Lynne are driving to the golf course. George comments that it is a lovely day to play a round. As they get out of the car, Lynne notices a friend called Fran. She tells George that she didn't know Fran had taken up golf. She sees her kissing a man and says that she is playing around.

It looks like George is a bit cavalier with his driving. He is driven to the golf course but instead of parking in the car park where everybody else has, he has decided to just drive onto the golf course. He thinks that initially a bunker would be a good place to park but decides to drive straight through it, past the 5th tee and then parks. The club staff are hopping mad but feel constrained to do anything about it because George brings in so many hospitality parties.

Fran is new to golf. It's not that Lynne didn't know that Fran even played golf but she didn't know that Fran had taken up golf. Lynne may have had a conversation with Fran about golf recently, and that at the club she goes to George can park anywhere because he such a valued member. Fran, who has always had a problem with her parking and would like a hobby, decides golf is a good idea and, without consulting Lynne, joins the golf club. If she had told Lynne she might have found that a discounted membership fee might have been on the cards by mentioning George's name.

Fran is a hussy. Lynne, whose shirt is very unflattering, says that Fran is playing around. This means that she is currently in a relationship. It may not be serious relationship because Fran is being very open with her flirting. There are three men vying for her attention when George and Lynne arrive. At first glance it seems that the man in the red shirt is doing well but it's the man in the white shirt who seals the deal with a kiss. The man in the blue shirt is nowhere to be seen by the end of this episode. This may be to do with his lack of hat which thwarted his attempts at wooing, or that he's seen George wearing the same shirt and has run away in embarrassment.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

BUNCH

George and Lynne are out and about. Lynne is looking in the window of a flower shop and George is outside a fruit and veg shop. Lynne tells George that as it's her birthday he ought to buy her a bunch. George asks whether it should be grapes or bananas.

It's Lynne's birthday so they must be out for the day, perhaps for a leisurely lunch in a quiet town outside of London. As they stroll from the restaurant to the car, they stop to take in the quaintness of the small town. Lynne likes flowers but George is fascinated by the fruit and vegetables. This is because the lunch was quite expensive and he could only afford one course at the restaurant. George liked his lunch, but feels as though he is not completely satisfied so wants to finish off his lunch with an orange.

Lynne smiles at the end after George's joke as she thinks that he isn't being serious. She has already had her proper present, which was probably some jewellery or perfume or negligee. George is half joking. He is not really going to buy her some fruit, but it is his way of saying “I have bought you a necklace (or perfume or negligee) and taken you out for a very expensive lunch, and you still expect me to buy you flowers. No, it's fruit or nothing for you.” Lynne liked the joke so much that she decided on grapes. George's plan has backfired but at least he only had to pay a pound for a bunch of grapes, and that's a darn sight cheaper than the black forest gateau he had his eye on.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

MAIN INTERESTS

George and Lynne are talking to Lady Blenkinsop. She tells them that her son's main interests seem to be gardening and cooking. Lynne asks her if he has time to pursue both. Lady Blenkinsop says that it seems he does, and we see him chasing the gardener and the cook around the garden.

George and Lynne are having quite an informal chat with Lady Blenkinsop so it would suggest that they know her rather than just going to a National Trust house. How well do they know this Lady Blenkinsop because although it looks like the real Lady Blenkinsop in the first frame, in the second frame it looks like a man in a dress. Suddenly her jaw line is less defined and she has a receding hair line. What has this imposter done with Lady Blenkinsop!? George and Lynne have no idea that this isn't the real Lady Blenkinsop. She's probably tied up in the pantry.

Whoever it is that is claiming to be Lady Blenkinsop, she hasn't been paying too much attention to her son. His interests aren't really gardening and cooking. He is just claiming this so he can try and woo the maid and the gardener. If Lady Blenkinsop, or whoever is claiming to be Lady Blenkinsop, knew what was going on she would have to fire her gardener and maid. Her son is obviously the problem but the staff are enjoying the attention. They could probably keep their jobs, just as long as their work isn't suffering. The son should make a decision about which one he likes the best. We can only imagine it will be the one he catches first.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

GIVE ME THE MOONLIGHT

George and Lynne are walking along the beach in the evening. George has started singing a song. He sings 'Give me the moonlight, give me the girl' but he then stops singing because they are attacked by mosquitoes.

Opposites certainly do attract. George is wearing all white and Lynne is still going with the heavy metal outfit. George is serenading Lynne with a Frankie Vaughan number whereas Lynne has been rocking out to The Number Of The Beast recently. Initially she was sceptical about Bruce Dickinson joining as lead singer as she was never fond of Samson but she was turned as soon as she heard Run To The Hills. So to Lynne, George has just made up a song on the spot. This makes George look good. Well as good as you can look wearing all white.

It has to be said, but look at the size of those mosquitoes! These are not the midges of the Highlands of Scotland. It's as though these mosquitoes have mutated into killing machines. Have George and Lynne decided to have a holiday in Windscale? It looks really scary. It's almost as if the armageddon has started. Black clouds have formed in the sky and now it's so dark you can't see anything apart from the mosquitoes. It's as if the clouds are made of mosquitoes. It's so scary even Lynne's coat has turned white with fear.

Monday, November 23, 2009

TIMES

Lynne is in a pub. She watches George and Sammy have a conversation and thinks to herself that they are talking about old times. She then looks at an older couple of gentlemen and thinks they must be talking about ancient times. Finally she looks at two very old gentlemen and thinks they are talking about prehistoric times.

Lynne is in a pub but has decided to go for the punk chic look today. As this is 1982, this is Lynne finding out about punk about 3 years too late. She is trying to cling to her youth by dressing like this. Punk is over and it is now all about post punk. Perhaps she is taking fashion tips from Iron Maiden with this look. The tight trousers and studded belt have a heavy metal feel to them.

Lynne is right; George and Sammy are reminiscing about old times. The two of them have known each other for a long time and they like nothing better than to talk about the good old days when they were chasing women back in the early 70s. Fresh out of university, the world was their oyster. That is until one day when they went to a party and Sammy struck up a conversation with a pretty short haired girl with massive earrings and the same name as him. So ensued a loving relationship and a spiralling drink problem.

Lynne is making assumptions about the other two conversations. That is of course unless the first two old men are archaeologists who are reminiscing about the time Howard Carter discovered the tomb of Tutankhamun. The final two gentlemen must be paleantologists and are discussing the evolution of the dinosaurs into birds. It's amazing the variety of conversation you can get in a local pub.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

SCHOOL

Lynne is out jogging when a young girl called Becky comes past on her bike. She says hi to Lynne who says hi back. Lynne asks Becky how she found school today. Becky replies that it was easy, and goes on to add that it hadn't moved since yesterday.

Lynne is either about to go jogging or has just finished her jog as she is stretching off. It is very important to warm up before exercise and to warm down after exercise. It prevents injuries and strains so Lynne is right to do it. As she looks quite made up, it seems she is stretching off before going for a jog. As Becky has just returned from school on a bike, Lynne will have to be careful the route of her jog doesn't hit the after school crowd as it might upset her rhythm. Lynne may not be training for a marathon, but she likes to stay in shape so a bad jog may ruin her entire day.

The education system in Wimbledon is failing. No, that is unfair. It is wherever Becky used to go to school that is failing. This is a girl of about 15 who not only does not understand a simple question about her day, but thinks that schools in this area change location on a daily basis. Lynne has enquired about Becky's day, but Becky has taken it very literally. This may be down to her intelligence, but it might be down to the fact that Becky's last school was situated on the back of a lorry. We can only assume that Becky either had a torrid time trying to find the school yesterday, which may have been her first day, or she assumed that it wouldn't have been in the same place because of the fluidity of the location of her previous school.

Trying to guess the location of a school is not a good way to start a day. The children in that mobile school must be perpetually behind in their work as they spend most of the morning trying to find the thing. It's no wonder Becky's parents pulled her out of that school and put her in one with static walls. Of course it could be this school that is situated on the back of a lorry but it has broken down so hasn't been able to move today. Either that or it parked in a residential area and is now clamped. Where will it be tomorrow? Who knows, with all the two hour parking in Wimbledon, it could be anywhere.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

OLD ALBERT

George and Lynne are at the beach. George tells Lynne that old Albert is 108 years old. Lynne thinks this is amazing and asks George if he knows what Albert puts his long life down to. George replies that it is his wife, but continues that it is the fact that his wife left him when he was 21.

George and Lynne are on holiday. They are sunbathing and have got the start of a tan. They are are also far more tanned than the other people who are at the beach. This is of course the benefit of not having children. George and Lynne are able to take their holiday overlapping those people who have to base their holidays around the school holidays. They have started their holiday a little earlier to get some much needed alone time and work on their tans but have still overlapped it with the other people so to make the holiday friends they so need to get through a two week holiday with just the two of them.

Old Albert is known to both George and Lynne. He is old so therefore he is known as old Albert. George knows his age but Lynne does not which gives the impression that perhaps he is not really a local celebrity but perhaps a person they have met on this particular holiday. George has spent a good half hour chatting with old Albert when Lynne comes back from having a swim in the sea. Lynne joins in the last 5 minutes of the conversation, but Albert has to leave because being out in the sun for too long is bad for him. It is at this point that George wishes to share the conversation he has just had with old Albert as he found him so fascinating.

George thinks it's quite funny that old Albert puts his long life down to his wife leaving him when he was 21 but in fact it is quite tragic. He was so hurt by this woman that he has never remarried and has spent the next 87 years fearing commitment in case it happens again. He has instead spent his life devoting himself to health and chastity, without any specific religious beliefs. These lonely years may have resulted in a long life but it is in fact an unfulfilled one. Old Albert tells his story every day to anyone who points and stares at the old wrinkly man who looks old enough to be dead and goes to bed every night crying, praying that he doesn't wake up the next morning.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

NEW DOCTOR

George and Lynne are out feeding the ducks. Lynne tells George that she went to a new doctor that George had recommended. George asks Lynne what she thought of him. All the ducks start quacking and Lynne decides to answer the question by referring to the sound that the ducks are making, thus calling this doctor a quack.

What is wrong with Lynne? She's had to see a doctor but she has been so unimpressed with her normal doctor that she has had to seek a new one. And it is George who has recommended this new doctor. So this means that they do not usually go to the same doctor. This means that the doctor that George has recommended must be a specialist doctor of some sort and Lynne's ailment needs a specialist. George goes to the same doctor so the ailment must be unisex, so it can't be lady orientated. Some sort of sports injury maybe.

George and Lynne certainly have different views of this doctor. George has recommended him because he thinks he is very good. It is either this or someone at George's work thinks this and mentioned him after Lynne's ailment came up in conversation. If this is the case then it might be some sort of lady troubles that Lynne is having. I don't think Lynne would be too happy with George for telling his entire office about Lynne's problems. Sensitivity is the name of the game here and George doesn't have it. However it is a small price to pay to get Lynne's problems sorted out once and for all, and this doctor is highly recommended.

Lynne was not impressed with the doctor. Whatever her problem is, this doctor has not sorted it. In fact he didn't even have a clue and gave her some nonsense prescription, probably the same one she had from the previous doctor who she had to stop seeing. What do you have to do to get your lady problems sorted out in this town? These doctors aren't doing it. If it doesn't get better soon, Lynne will have to go further afield to find a reputable doctor who can sort it out. Surely 'Mantha knows a good doctor, or at least a place where you can buy Canesten.

Monday, November 16, 2009

ENJOY THE VIEW

George and Lynne are out on a rowing boat. George comments that there is nothing like a relaxing day on the river to which Lynne makes an unimpressed sound. George tells her to quit moaning, row and enjoy the view. Lynne decides to take her top off and tells George to row and admire the view. George agrees this is a good idea.

George certainly is stuck in the 70s when it comes to women's rights. He has suggested a river trip and has then demanded that she row the boat. You would think that this isn't very gentlemanly but maybe he has injured an elbow playing tennis. However if that was the case it is rather a foolish idea to go rowing. Yes Lynne can row but if something happens to her then there is no contingency plan. They could quite easily be stranded on the river; two adults with bad arms. Swimming is an option but with a bad arm that will also be difficult. They will just have to wait for assistance and hope the current doesn't pick up.

Lynne doesn't want to row and it takes some quick thinking from her to get out of it. Thanks to her impressive chest, she can persuade George to take the oars. It looks as though George will do anything to get a look at his wife's breasts. This would seem strange for a couple who appear to be very at ease with each other. However, what with the birth of the internet still a good 13 years away, at least in the home market, George needs to get his fix of nudity somehow.

Let's hope that the view of Lynne does not take George's attention away from rowing too much. For an inexperienced rower like himself, as he is obviously not injured so he probably didn't want to row through fear of showing his laughable technique, the waters can be a dangerous place. Too much staring and not enough awareness could cause that row boat to get caught in some reeds, or a shallow bank. It should now be Lynne's job to navigate because, let's be fair, she isn't doing anything else.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

GUESS WHO

George covers Lynne's eyes and asks her to guess who it is. Lynne replies that it is the love of her life. George tells her she is right and confirms that it is indeed him who covered her eyes. Lynne says she was expecting Colin Farrell, but she quickly retracts that remark by saying she was only joking. When she walks away she says that it was actually Brad Pitt she was hoping for.

Unless strange men are making the habit of wandering around George and Lynne's house, then the answer to the question of 'Guess Who?' can only be George. If they had some builders or decorators in, it is possible for it to be one of them, but it would be very unprofessional for a reputable builder to walk into his client's bedroom while she is in her underwear and play a flirtatious game with her. That sort of behaviour may work on the spinsters of Wimbledon but not here. You get on with the job and only call up the stairs if you wish to speak to the lady of the house.

In the remaining part of this episode, Lynne mentions two men we have not heard of before; Colin Farrell and Brad Pitt. As this is 1982, these obviously cannot be the current Hollywood actors of the same name as they will have been aged 5 and 18 respectively. That said it may be the same Brad Pitt. Do we know if he went on a school exchange to the London suburbs in the early 80s? If Lynne has fallen for the good looks of an 18 year old American then the marriage is surely in danger. Does the now 54 year old Lynne look back at her time when she could have snared a future movie star with regret or thank her lucky stars she stayed with George for a happy life?

Alternatively, these are local men who just happen to have the same names of movie stars now. Perhaps this is why this episode is so intriguing. What are the chances of those two local men that Lynne finds attractive having the same names as future Hollywood movie stars? It's slim that's for sure. The problem is though that these are real men that Lynne is actually in love with. Why on earth did she marry George if she held a torch for these men? Let's hope it is just a phase and it won't turn into a full blooded affair. However it seems it already has escalated into an affair as Lynne truly was expecting Brad Pitt (from Colliers Wood) to walk into her bedroom. Does he have a key, or is he a reputable painter and decorator?

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

DOs AND DON'Ts

Lynne is having a glass of wine with an unnamed friend. The friend tells Lynne that her parents gave her a list of Dos and Don'ts when she got engaged. She shows a small piece of paper to Lynne and tells her it is the dos and then 8 pieces of paper which are the don'ts.

This unnamed woman looks very depressed. We would expect that this is a pre-arranged drink of wine, but has the friend called Lynne because she wants to talk to her about the problem she is having at the moment or did she save that information for when she met Lynne? She certainly wouldn't want to scare Lynne off, especially as Lynne has already complained about people telling her their problems. Perhaps this woman is a hairdresser or a barmaid and this is why Lynne has agreed to meet her.

This woman has brought the pieces of paper with her to the bar. Is she carrying them around at all times so she can tell people about what her parents have told her? This is going to get quite tiresome for her friends. People will start not inviting her to events and evenings because they know she will turn up with her trademark bits of paper. Yes it is bad that her parents obviously disapprove of her engagement, but surely if she loves this man then she should rebel against her parents. Unless of course they are threatening her with cutting her out of the will if she does not comply with these rules they have set up. Or even just not pay for her wedding. It must be that her suitor is nothing but a poor mechanic, and her upper class parents do not approve of her marrying out of the family unit.

What on earth are these don'ts that have taken up 8 pieces of paper? If they disapprove, it should just consist of "Don't get married!" but they have obviously gone into far more detail than that. Don't these old cronies know that it is no longer their day. It is 1982 for heaven's sake! The world has changed. These people have no concept of late 20th century life, so much so that they are not writing on both sides of the paper. Or maybe they are. If that is the case that is 15 full sides taken up with writing. And unless they have two different sizes of paper in their house, they have gone to the trouble of cutting down the paper that the dos were written on, just to emphasise how little there is she should do. And I bet they got their butler to do it too.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

DISTINCTIVE LOOK

Lynne is out and about. She is talking to a woman wearing an open shirt who tells her that she wants to be a fashion designer. Lynne tells her that she thinks she has a distinctive look. The woman asks Lynne if she shows promise. Lynne replies that she might be showing too much promise as George and Sammy are staring at her.

There must be a conversation we've missed here. There is surely no way that this woman has stopped Lynne to tell her that she wants to be a fashion designer. Does she actually hang around street corners wearing provacative clothes telling people her proposed vocation? No, the beginning to this conversation must be Lynne saying something along the lines of 'Nice shirt' or 'I showed that much cleavage at a party last week.'

The strangely dressed woman is now asking Lynne for her approval. So Lynne has commented on her outfit or Lynne has had a previous life on the catwalk. With Lynne giving up any career she might have after marrying George, she could have done any number of things in her early 20s. She certainly has a fine array of dresses and many people in the neighbourhood have commented on her looks so she could have been a model. Perhaps the woman stopped Lynne and said 'You're Lynne, the woman who used to be a model.'

George and Sammy are also out and about. But where is 'Mantha? Has George invited Sammy out without 'Mantha? Are George and Sammy out independently to Lynne? It is likely that Lynne wanted to go shopping but George promised to meet Sammy in the pub. They had previously arranged to meet at a certain time and a certain place. It just so happens that this woman is trying to solicit clothes designs at that very place. George has told Sammy he has to meet Lynne and Sammy is going in that direction anyway so they walk together. They see the woman just as she is striking a pose to show Lynne exactly how a model would pose if she was wearing that shirt that she is wearing. Soon the woman leaves, George meets Lynne and Sammy staggers home. Nothing untoward, just a normal Saturday.

Monday, November 9, 2009

HELICOPTER RIDES

Lynne and 'Mantha are in a line for a helicopter ride for charity. The man selling tickets tells them to stand back as the helicopter takes off. As it does take off it blows off their clothes. The ticket seller decides to sell tickets to look at the sexy ladies for charity.

As Lynne and 'Mantha can no longer work for charity, they have to give money the normal way. In this case it is taking a ride in a helicopter, with the proceeds going to charity. Although a ride in a helicopter would normally be a big draw, there are only 4 people queuing up. However there must be at least another two in the helicopter. So in total 6 people want a ride in a helicopter. Unless this man in the hat and sunglasses is selling tickets for £100 each then it's not going to be a very lucrative day.

Once the helicopter takes off, Lynne and 'Mantha's clothes are blown clean off. These must be some shoddy clothes. How can a fierce gust of wind blow dresses off? By the look of them when they are in the queue, the dresses look quite tight fitting. Either they are factory seconds or the short man in the queue has secretly unzipped them. They were so excited to go on the helicopter that they didn't notice some fat fingers running down their backs.

The man with the hat and sunglasses does some quick thinking and in the time it takes for the helicopter to come back he has drawn up a sign selling the sexy ladies. His lettering is very good and he must have used the other side of his helicopter sign, but to draw it up so quickly it appears he must have been in cahoots with the short fat man who unzipped their dresses. Are the sexy ladies more lucrative than the helicopter rides? The man in the hat and sunglasses must think so. He now has four people buying tickets, but two of those could be the helicopter pilots. One man is so pleased that he is holding up his Donkey Kong game.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

DARING DRESS

Lynne is at a party. An unnamed woman approaches her and comments that the dress she has chosen is rather daring. Lynne agrees and adds that she thinks it's a bit too daring as one man has had his eyes on her boobs all evening. The woman asks if it is her husband, George. George interjects from afar that it isn't him but the woman's husband, who has come for another look.

Lynne is fast becoming the Jennifer Lopez/Elizabeth Hurley of the Wimbledon party circuit. After the furore surrounding that last dress she wore, you would think that she might have chosen something a little more conservative this time. But Lynne is a daring woman herself so it is fitting for her to wear a daring dress. Luckily she has decided against any form of jewellery which might find its way to her nether regions. If she had, my guess the man with the rakish moustache in the background would have been first to offer his assistance.

It seems that the unnamed woman, who is probably jealous of both Lynne's dress sense and guts, has tried to guess a joke that she thought Lynne was going to say. She thought Lynne would say 'my husband, George!' if asked which man had been staring at her boobs, so has tried to get in there first. My how it's backfired. The last thing she expected was it to be her own husband. Egg is now well and truly on her face.

George and Lynne know each other extremely well. They also have a small vendetta against this lady and her much older husband. Granted, this man has been staring at Lynne's boobs all night so this is ample reason to exact their own form of vengeance. After the third time he came over, Lynne went to George and they discussed this man. Just then, they saw the wife spot Lynne and come over to say hello. They have pre-planned the joke and knew full well the woman would passively accuse George of being the perverted one. George and Lynne then riff off each other effortlessly with the grace of Flanders and Swann.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

ANY VEHICLE

Lynne and 'Mantha are out and about when Lynne comments that although they said they would wash any vehicle to make money for charity, she didn't expect it to be muddy tanks. However the soldiers are more than willing to wash the tanks whilst Lynne and 'Mantha sunbathe on the tank topless.

Did Lynne and 'Mantha co-ordinate their outfits for this charity vehicle wash? At first glance they are wearing the same outfit of purple halter-neck crop top and denim hotpants, but a second look shows that 'Mantha's top is more low cut than Lynne's. The dress code between them must have been denim hotpants definitely and then any purple halter-neck that you own. Let's not be too strict here.

It becomes clear that Lynne and 'Mantha did not organise this charity vehicle wash themselves. If they did, they would not have decided to go to the nearest army barracks. They would have gone to a supermarket car park instead. More cars, less tanks. No, they have signed up to an undisclosed charity to do their bit and they have been given the vehicle wash assignment. They gracefully accepted as it is certainly not the done thing to turn your nose up at charity work if you've said you'd do it. Granted, they maybe should have asked beforehand to prepare themselves, but they were undoubtedly expecting cars.

Now, do Lynne and 'Mantha still get their sponsorship money for not doing the cleaning? Have they been sponsored by members of the public or are they charging the soldiers to clean their tanks? If it is the former I suppose they could lie and say they did the washing. However if it is the latter they have to now ask the soldiers for money for washing their own tanks, lest they go back to the charity with empty pockets. What do they say? 'I'm sorry but the soldiers said they'd clean the tanks and we're far too lazy to do it ourselves. In fact we spent the whole afternoon tanning our tits.' This may be the last charity these ladies work for.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

STOCK TAKE

George is in his car outside the Court of Justice. Lynne comes out and George asks her how Sharon's court case went. Lynne explains that it was all a misunderstanding. Whilst getting into the car, she continues that Sharon was told to stock take on her first day at the shoe shop. Lynne explain that she did, but now people are happy that she returned the 20 pairs of shoes she took.

Are these courts different to the Law Courts we saw previously? Who decides whether a case goes to the law courts or the Courts of Justice? It would be assumed that the bigger cases go to the Courts of Justice as it has a more impressive name. However this case seems to be a simple case of shoplifting whereas the unknown case that went to the law courts was described by George as an important case. Maybe he was being sarcastic to Lynne's friend then. It can't have been that important as Lynne didn't even go into the courts on the previous case whereas for this one she has been in there all day as support to Sharon.

Does anyone say 'How went'? Perhaps George is actually from the upper class and has eschewed his heritage for a life with Lynne. He is the Edward VII of Wimbledon. Sort of.

I don't suppose the judge in this case could have been very happy. He must have been quite annoyed that this case had got all the way to court before the misunderstanding had been uncovered. Surely this could have been sorted out before any formal charges were pressed. How many times did they ask Sharon to return the shoes before she was arrested? Wasting police time would have been a more appropriate charge. Finally, this Sharon must be pretty stupid. You can understand if she didn't know what a stock take was if she had never worked in retail before, but did she really think that she was allowed to take 20 pairs of shoes home on her first day? And what was the manager doing when this woman was walking out the shop with 20 boxes of shoes? Please don't tell me he let a woman with no formal retail experience lock up the shop on her first day. That is the real crime here.

Monday, November 2, 2009

BRITISH SUMMER

George and Lynne are at the seaside. Whilst enjoying an ice-cream together, George comments that there is nothing quite like a British summer. Just then the sky becomes overcast and it starts raining heavily. Lynne agrees that there is nothing quite like a British summer, although sarcastically.

This is not a weekend away. It is more an impromptu trip down to the seaside to enjoy the fantastic weather we have been having. George suggested it and they jumped in his car and sped down. Luckily they found a parking spot reasonably close to the promenade and they have decided their first port of call is a traditional ice-cream cone. It is warm and both George and Lynne, and the other seaside goers behind them, are wearing suitable clothing.

Then we notice something strange. Yes, both George and Lynne have not taken one lick of their ice-creams. What is wrong with them? What is wrong with the ice-creams? It could be that in their excitement they neglected to read the labels and have both chosen a lemon based ice-cream instead of the standard vanilla they wanted. They both look so similar! Or could it be that they have been distracted by the unfeasibly large cones? There is no way the ice-cream goes to the bottom. The super deluxe cone is 55p more expensive and for what? More wafer.

The weather has turned from wonderful to terrible in a matter of seconds. Is this actually possible? Did George and Lynne read the forecast before driving down? They are on the coast so a sea breeze could have blown this shower in from France. Let's hope it is only a shower. George and Lynne certainly think it is as they have made absolutely no attempt to find cover. No, instead they standing in the rain still not eating their ice-creams. That rain will melt those ice-creams pretty quickly, and then what will they be left with? A couple of really big wet cones.