Friday, May 28, 2010


George and Lynne are at a party. George introduces Lynne to a local councillor. The councillor tells Lynne to let him know if there's anything she wants him to handle. Lynne pours a bottle of wine over him and says he can handle his own dry cleaning bill.

George really does move in the highest of circles. He has been invited to a party where a local councillor is attending. Embarrassingly for George though, he has completely forgotten the name of the councillor. He has introduced Lynne quickly hoping that the man will introduce himself. Then, having his name confirmed, George can talk to the councillor about that new housing development his company is keen on being part of.

Lynne pours the bottle of wine over the councillor's head because she thinks he is looking at, and referring to, her breasts. She shouldn't be too quick to judge. What if the councillor is quite tired after a mammoth board meeting and his eyelids are drooping, or he has a nervous blinking tic, or Lynne has a money spider crawling down her top? Now the councillor is angry and covered in wine.

Even if the councillor had been ogling Lynne's chest, she has now pretty much ruined any deal George wanted to be involved in, and perhaps put the future of his company at risk. George's property development company is not doing so well, the cutbacks in previous episodes are evidence of that, and they have decided to send their best man, George, to sweet talk the local councillor in order to get their foot in the door with regards to that property development. After this incident, the councillor may give the contract to a rival firm. However, there may be a chance that he finds Lynne's behaviour 'feisty' and admires a man who can control her, thus giving George's company the contract.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010


George and Lynne are outside the dentist's. George tells Lynne to hurry otherwise he'll miss his appointment for his check up. Lynne says that she's never known George to be so keen as he usually hates seeing the dentist. George adds that he loves seeing the new nurse.

George is going to the dentist. A common occurrence for a man of his age. However George sees a need to take his wife with him. Is this a ritual? Perhaps in the past, George has been so afraid of the dentist that he needed the support of his wife as he nervously waited with the dog-eared copies of National Geographic and Woman's Weekly.

There is an argument that both George and Lynne have decided to book their dentist appointments at the same time. This could happen if their previous appointments had been at the same time. It's easier for them to try and arrange this as they only have one car. George would only need to take a morning off work and could drop off Lynne in town afterwards. If this is the case then George's appointment will be before Lynne's. If this is the case then it is very selfish of Lynne to hold up George from his appointment. Oh, it's all very well you arriving in time for your appointment Lynne but what about the £40 George will have to fork out for a missed appointment? Think about someone other than yourself for once.

George loves seeing the new nurse. Just how new is she? George really only needs to see the dentist once every six months so she must have been working there for at least that time. If he and Lynne had appointments at the same time last time, Lynne would have noticed her then, and equally George's drooling. So unless George has been going to the dentist a lot more, perhaps to sort out that gingivitis, then this nurse has been working there for at least a year, as George uses the word 'seeing' to imply he has seen her more than once before today. A year! Hardly new, George.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010


George and Lynne are at Sammy and 'Mantha's house. George apologises for being late and Lynne explains that they had to stop by the optician's and pick up her new reading glasses. 'Mantha tells Lynne that the really suit her. Sammy disagrees and says that glasses full of wine are more his style.

Sammy and 'Mantha have invited George and Lynne round for what looks like an outdoor lunch. It could be a barbecue but it does seem as though it is just those two couples rather than a party. Unfortunately the weather has not been kind to them as it is mostly overcast except for one streak of blue sky between the clouds.

Lynne arrives looking conservative having done up the button on her top. As soon as she feels relaxed this button is quickly undone and she shows a bit more chest. She felt that showing that amount of cleavage at the optician's may have been deemed as inappropriate. The glasses Lynne has got are billed as new but look very similar to the ones she already owns. Due to the fact that she only uses them for reading, it is likely that 'Mantha has not seen them before as she is not part of Lynne's book club.

Lynne keeps her glasses on during Sammy's outburst even though she only needs them for reading. This suggests that he took them all by surprise as he had been quite quiet up until then. Sammy says that he favours wine but really any alcohol could have been in those glasses. When George and Lynne arrive he is drinking from a tumbler which suggests a spirit of some sort. He has now moved on to wine, and not just one glass. How many more different drinks will Sammy have? Judging by the state he's in now, at the beginning of the barbecue, there will undoubtedly be a scene by the end. George will also have to take over the cooking as Sammy has burnt himself on the hot charcoal. 'Mantha is worried and we can see that all too clearly on her face during Sammy's outburst.

Monday, May 24, 2010


Lynne is out and about with an unnamed friend. The woman tells Lynne that her and Hugh really enjoyed that hotel's murder mystery weekend. Lynne ponders booking her and George in to the next one. Her friend approves telling Lynne that Hugh played the part of a murderer. Lynne says that she supposes it was a case of Hugh-dunnit.

Lynne's friend points out the hotel in which she enjoyed a murder mystery weekend but fails to mention the name of the hotel. The name is also obscured so it still remains unknown. Does this hotel not like any advertisement? Surely that hotel would like it if Lynne's friend mentioned the name of the hotel when saying how much she enjoyed her time there so that passers-by would know which hotel to go to for a good evening. If there is another hotel right next door, members of the public will get very confused and the better of the two hotels may lose valuable business.

Lynne's friend may not mention the name of the hotel but she does continue to mention the name of her partner for the evening, Hugh. It would seem that although she had a good time at the hotel, Hugh owns his own hotel called 'Hugh's' and is eager for business. The lady, either Hugh's business or romantic partner, is hoping that by saying Hugh a lot but mentioning a good time in a hotel that eavesdroppers will put those together and book a weekend in 'Hugh's'. Unfortunately, because it has a lavish colour scheme inside, the hotel that hosted the murder mystery weekend is called Hues.

Thursday, May 20, 2010


George and Lynne are at a party. Lynne notices their accountant who she didn't know would be at this party. George didn't know this either but points out that their accountant seems to be enjoying himself. He then adds that he always had a good eye for figures.

The party that George and Lynne are attending appears to be a very extravagant affair as the host has asked the men to wear dinner suits and the women to wear cocktail dresses. However it is light outside and the only party decorations seem to be balloons. The host of this party has decided to go for a themed affair of cocktail party meets children's birthday party. Alternatively the host could be combining his or her party with that of their young child. It starts at 4pm with jelly and ice cream and ends at 2am with charades and Amaretto.

George and Lynne have their own accountant but are oblivious to the fact that he moves in the same social circles as them. Are they surprised that they have mutual friends or that he goes out at all, or worried that he will see that they hang in far higher echelons of society than their tax returns make out?

The accountant has the style of Martin Scorcese and is definitely a hit with these two ladies. Whether he is regaling them with accountancy anecdotes or just offering his services we do not know. Lynne does not look happy with George after his attempt at a joke. This is either because she does not find it funny, she was hoping to tell the same joke herself or that the circles that their accountant is moving in are highly suspicious as this is be the party of a successful but shady local businessman. Time to get a new accountant.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Lynne is talking to the vicar. She asks him what the church's view is on air travel. The vicar replies that if God had meant people to fly He would have given them frequent flyer mileage.

Lynne is outside the church and notices a plane. The plane looks as though it is taking off and is very low. So low in fact that Lynne and the vicar must be shouting to each other. This means that the vicar must have some sort of public address system inside his church as those planes could be going over at any time.

The confusing thing here is you have to wonder why, considering she lives in Wimbledon, is Lynne visiting a church in Hounslow. Maybe she used to live in Hounslow and still regards the vicar highly. It is sensible to think that once George started bringing some money in, they decided to move away from the Heathrow flight path so to have a somewhat quieter life. Little did they know how frenetic life in Wimbledon would be.

The vicar must be making a joke but does this mean he doesn't fly? It may be that he is covering up his fear of flying by trying to make light of it. The truth is he is terrified of getting in an aeroplane and it haunts his dreams. It has also held him back in his religious career, having made him miss out on many ministerial conferences in Europe. How ironic then that his church is under the flight path.

Monday, May 10, 2010


George and Lynne are playing golf. George says to Lynne that he saw that Lady Blunderton attacked Lord Blunderton's Rolls Royce with a golf club. Lynne says she did hear this and adds that she gave him what for.

George needs to concentrate harder when playing golf. By telling a story during his own swing he has completely mis-hit his shot. He's only just caught the top of the ball and it is barely going 20 yards down the fairway. However it was the best he could do as he is using a low iron to get out of the semi rough. Getting on the fairway was his priority and he's done that.

Lynne is pulling the golf bag so it could be that she isn't even playing, but just getting a feel of the course before she starts this new hobby. George is the sort of man who would tell his wife to 'watch how it's done.' Lynne is wearing golf gloves though. She is either trying them out for size or practicing her magic tricks.

When Lynne tells her joke at the end she can barely get the words out with her own laughing. Look at the way she is patting her chest. She truly believes this is the best joke she has ever told. She is about to bend over, laughing to herself and slapping her own thigh in hilarity. George doesn't get the joke because the word Lynne has said, 'fore', sounds exactly the same as the word that George would expect to hear, 'for.' So George is merely laughing at the expense of Lord Blunderton, who now not only has an expensive car to repair, but also a marriage. He is also happy that Lynne is not concentrating on his disastrous approach shot.

Thursday, May 6, 2010


George and Lynne are at a restaurant. George asks the waiter for a table for two. The waiter seats Lynne and then sits down next to her and kisses her hand. Lynne says to George that he didn't say which two the table was for.

This must be a very fancy restaurant. Not only are the waiters all wearing tuxedos but all the male clientele are also sporting bow ties. It appears that the dress code is 'male guests must wear a bow tie.'

After seeing what happens next, this is certainly not a fancy restaurant. What sort of self-respecting establishment would allow its staff to behave in such a manner. Not only has one waiter started attempting to court a customer, in full view of her dinner partner no less, but another waiter is egging him on, in a passive silent way of course. It looks as though the only thing that is stopping the waiter in the background from shouting 'Go on my son!' is the fact he has to pick up some half eaten prawn cocktails from table 4.

Who is more to blame in this episode? The waiter for his rude but audacious behaviour or Lynne for allowing to happen. Perhaps George should blame himself for instead of being angry and demanding to see the manager, he is merely perplexed at the scene. This is the waiter's way of telling him that he is fooling no one by wearing a bow tie with his office suit.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


George and Lynne are in line at the train station. The woman at the front asks for two tickets to Edinburgh. The man behind the counter asks her if she wants first or second class. The woman tells him that she has always been first class but it is her husband who has never had any class at all. Her husband pulls a silly face.

There is an awfully long line at the ticket office and the man behind the counter is wasting people's time by asking them if they want first or second class. You would think that if someone wanted a first class ticket they would specifically ask for it as the correct term for second class is standard class. There must be a special bank holiday offer on for a reduced first class ticket if you buy one, perhaps something like buy a first class ticket and get a second for the price of a second class ticket. The man behind the counter is about to explain the offer but the woman cuts in. The reason the queue is so long is because he has had to explain the offer to everyone.

The woman deserved the face that her husband pulled. If she had just turned to him and said “Shall we go first class?” they may have had a normal conversation about the standard of seat they wanted. No, the woman takes this as an opportunity to ridicule her husband in front of a group of strangers. His thoughts are “If she thinks I've got no class, I'll show her no class. Watch this!” We suspect this has been going on for quite some time. She may of course be referring to his attire. These two are on their way to the woman's great aunt's funeral in Edinburgh. She has decided on a black dress with pearls to show she is in mourning but she also retain some class. He however has decided to wear a white shirt, green jacket and a flowery scarf. If that isn't bad enough he has tied his tie around the collar of his jacket, not his shirt. He does indeed look foolish.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010


Lynne is talking the vicar who tells her that the church bell ringers have started a monthly book club. Lynne asks him which book they are reading this month and he tells her it is of course For Whom The Bell Tolls.

Lynne is back in the church talking to the vicar. The last time we saw him he was straight faced and wearing a more formal vicar outfit which suggests she had barged in just before a service. This time he is wearing his more usual vicar garb so it as an average church day. Lynne has popped in either to help with the flowers or to steal them. The fact that she is holding them over a table initially and then away from the altar later shows that she is indeed stealing the flowers and makes conversation with the vicar to distract him.

Even though the vicar tells Lynne that the bell ringers have started, Lynne asks him which book they are reading this month, rather than which book they are starting with. Essentially it is the same question but it shows that lynne has her mind firmly on getting those flowers out as quickly as possible. The vicar should have spotted her mistake and realised something was amiss.

The vicar does not realise however and is happy to fulfill Lynne's enquiry. He tells her it is For Whom The Bell Tolls of course. He says of course because he thought he'd mentioned it was an Ernest Hemingway book club. Last month they read The Old Man And The Sea and next month they are planning on reading A Farewell To Arms. They wanted to start with something light and felt that to start with a book over 400 pages was a bit adventurous. They enjoyed The Old Man And The Sea so much that they decided to jump straight to the relatively large For Whom The Bell Tolls rather than slighter The Sun Also Rises. By month four they will be bored of Hemingway and move on to Beat novels of Kerouac and Burroughs.