Lynne is at 'Mantha's house and they are both cleaning in their underwear. Lynne asks for confirmation that 'Mantha's cleaning lady has suddenly quit. 'Mantha does confirm this and adds that the cleaning lady may have won the lottery. Lynne asks if the cleaning lady cleaned up, but in a rhetorical way.
'Mantha is in a panic. Her cleaning lady, from out of nowhere, quit her job and there is dust everywhere. She has got no choice but to call Lynne for support. 'Mantha knows what a vacuum cleaner is, she's seen one and she's seen someone use one but she has no idea how to use it herself. Lynne isn't sure either but she has come round armed with a feather duster ready for action.
Lynne and 'Mantha are in their underwear. There is a perfectly rational explanation for this. The vacuum cleaner is a tricky piece of machinery and both Lynne and 'Mantha are completely bemused by it. They have looked all over it and cannot understand how it works. They have turned it upside down and are sticking their fingers in it. Just then, Lynne decides that the three pronged thing should go in the thing in the wall that has three holes. The vacuum cleaner whirrs into action and 'Mantha's long sleeved chiffon dress gets caught and sucked into the machine. Lynne is so shocked that she runs over and knocks into the vacuum cleaner, turning it off. 'Mantha stands up and also knocks the vacuum cleaner, this time turning it on and then sucking Lynne's floaty dress into it. They are both now without dresses but at least they know how the vacuum cleaner turns on.
Of course this is only one explanation. The other is that the cleaning lady also did 'Mantha's laundry. 'Mantha has had a busy week and is clean out (no pun intended) of clothes, so after she hoovers the living room she'll try and work out how to use the washing machine. Lynne has arrived and thinks this is a new fashion as she knows that 'Mantha always keeps up with the latest trends and promptly strips off. Now it's just two fashionable ladies cleaning a house.
I fear you're too naive. Remember, Mantha is married to Sammy, an alcoholic who probably drinks to such an extent that he is incapable of sex with Mantha. Desperate for some sexual fulfilment, Mantha has turned to attempting to seduce Lynne by convincing her it will be a fun lark to clean up in their underwear. Soon, Mantha will start larking about with the hose from the hoover, Lynne will respond with the feather duster, and before either one knows what's happening...
ReplyDeleteIt's George I feel sorry for. If Sammy had manned up and got himself together, none of this would be happening. Sammy deserves to have Mantha go over to the other team. But George is just a simple property lawyer trying to cope with the mounting debt from Lynne maxing out her Access card to buy leg-warmers and VHS tapes. All this will just be too much for him.
I think they're both trying to earn a bit of extra pin money by doing housework in their bikinis and putting it out on the interweb. After all, what with the recent property downturn George probabaly isn't bringing home as much cash as usual, and those baby dolls don't grow on trees, you know.
ReplyDeleteThis is pretty hot...
ReplyDeleteThey didn't have the internet in the 70s though. Maybe Mantha is hooked up to Minitel somehow. Maybe Sammy is a BT engineer
ReplyDeleteThis all fits in with George and Lynne's financial crisis and the fact that they are growing apart. Lynne and Mantha are filing some amateur porn. The next frame would have been a ring at the door and someone with a perm and a moustache dressed in immaculate overalls saying "I've come to mend the washing machine".
ReplyDelete... no one else notice that Lynne has developed that most serious of conditions, 'SFJ'?
ReplyDeleteWhile 'Mantha's jaundice is the conventional strain affecting the town, Lynne has developed 'Sporadic Flash Jaundice'. This is very danngerous as the sufferer believes they only have a mild illness. In truth one bad attack of 'SFJ' and your finished.
Unless she is treated, and treated soon, I fear Lynne is not long for this world.