DINNER

George is waiting for dinner. Lynne serves the dinner wearing only an apron. She tells George to eat it otherwise it will become cold and inedible. George hopes that will happen as he takes the dinner to the window.

Yes, Lynne is serving dinner wearing just an apron. Nothing underneath at all. She could have been feeling kinky and decided to strut around nude; she could have drawn a bath and then realised it was her time to cook; she could be preparing a quick dinner for George before they go to the the theatre and didn't want to put on her best dress to cook in or some old clothes that she'd just have to take off again. She certainly didn't want to get any hot oil on her bare flesh as that would be painful, so she's sensibly put on an apron.

Lynne's cooking isn't always this bad. If it was then George would not be so happy to have seen Lynne bringing him his dinner. He is glad that dinner is served, although this may just be due to the amount of time he has waited for it, because he expects it to be tasty. Alternatively Lynne never cooks and has decided to have a stab at it tonight. George is hopeful but it has taken far longer than he expected it would. It seems light outside so it can't be too late. Maybe he is one of these people who calls lunch dinner.

I wonder what Lynne has cooked that a) is so disgusting George will not even taste it and b) becomes in edible when it is cold. Granted, most hot food loses its appeal when it drops in temperature but does any actually become inedible? Perhaps it is something similar to liver and onions where the well cooked meat becomes even tougher when it get colder. Lynne knows that she's cooked it a little too much but knows that if George eats it quickly then it will still be edible. That's a risky meal to try for a first attempt. She should have chosen a classic meal to cut her teeth on, maybe adding a twist of her own, and then attempting something a bit more adventurous if this dish was received well.

George hates it and looks as though he will throw it out of the window, or at least put it on the windowsill where it will cool down quicker. He cleverly thinks his last thought rather than saying it out loud as he knows this has got both him and Lynne in trouble in the past. As much as he dislikes Lynne's cooking, he doesn't want to hurt her feelings.

BURYING THINGS

Lynne looks out the window and proclaims that a squirrel is burying things in their lawn. Due to this, she orders George to do some gardening at the expense of going to the pub. George complies and then holds a can of drink near a hole whilst saying that if you can't beat them......

Lynne is clearly annoyed here. It makes you wonder if this has happened before, and if it has, if it's the same squirrel. She seems to know exactly what to do in this situation, send George into the garden. What is George expected to do? Surely the squirrel is just burying nuts or acorns. How much damage is this squirrel doing? Not much; perhaps just a small hole in Lynne's perfectly crafted garden; a mild irritance at most. That may be the case if it was a normal squirrel, but look at the size of this squirrel. It's enormous! It's at least the size of a rabbit. No wonder Lynne is annoyed, and no wonder she's seen this squirrel before. You won't forget a squirrel that size.

The ambiguity of George's actions are extremely intriguing. Is he burying that can, which must be alcoholic, or is he digging it up? If it is the former then there doesn't seem much point. He can't go to the pub so what is the use in burying a can of lager? So he must be digging up a can of lager. A can that he has buried. Perhaps he buried it the last time this mutant of a squirrel struck. So instead of having to re-turf one hole, he now has to do two. I suppose it is a small price to pay to get a drink. However, what he says implies that he is burying the can. The phrase he has started say is 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.' This means that instead of trying to thwart the massive squirrel, he must do exactly what the squirrel is doing, that being burying the can. So either George is pointlessly burying a can of lager, or he has completely misunderstood the meaning of a very popular phrase. Either way, it's a sad state of affairs.

DETECTION

George and Lynne are out for a hike. They come across a man who is using a metal detector. Interested, George asks if he's detected anything of any importance. The man replies that he hasn't but his wife has. Intrigued, Lynne asks what she detected. The man replies that she detected his affair with the woman next door.

Back in the 70s and 80s, you might actually see someone wantonly waving a metal detector around in the vague hope of finding a roman coin or sword. These days this sight is not common at all, mainly because all the roman coins have now been found. George knows the plight of a metal detector all too well when he asks his question. To ask if anything at all had been detected, he may get the solemn story of only finding a rusted tent peg. He wants to know about the juicy stuff - a bullet casing, a WWII helmet, a discarded Grammy Award.

Notice that George uses the word 'detect'. If he had used the word 'found', would it have given the man licence to tell the story of his affair? In fact it may have given him licence to tell more of the story. Imagine if you will:

"Found much of any importance yet?"

"No but my wife has."

"What did she find?"

"A pair of knickers belonging to the next door neighbour in the glove compartment of my car. I've been having an affair with her you see."

I'm sure the irony of the man finding a horseshoe is not lost on him. You see a horseshoe is lucky and he certainly hasn't been lucky. Well, he was bound to get found out sooner or later, it was his next door neighbour for heaven's sake. Is the last scene the the thoughts of the man or the collective thoughts of George and Lynne trying to imagine the situation? If it is the thoughts of the man then he has done very well because the woman in the foreground, who must be the next door neighbour, is very attractive and certainly younger than him. If it is the thoughts of George and Lynne then they have very high opinions of the man to imagine that he would be having an affair with such an attractive woman. Then again, any man with a metal detector is bound to have women swarming round him.

BURGERS

George and Lynne are at a sporting event. Lynne asks Bill, who sits next to them, if Becky is not with him. Bill replies that Becky has left him for Bob. George asks if it is the same Bob who sells the half time burgers. Lynne chips in that Becky must have no taste, as Bob's burgers are horrible.

We know that George and Lynne are at a sporting event due to the crowd members wearing scarves and the well positioned banner at the back of the stand that reads 'SPORT'. What sort of sport it is remains a mystery. It could be football, but it could be rugby. Probability says that it is a football match. George and Lynne must come here a lot to know the people they are sitting next to. This means they are either season ticket holders or it is a low level football match. If we examine this episode more closely, we can be sure it is not a large football match as there seems to be only one person who sells burgers, whereas at a Premier league game there will be numerous burger stands. It could be Tooting and Mitcham FC. They play in black and white but their away kit is red, which corresponds with the scarf the man on the right is wearing.

Does Bob only sell burgers at half time? If they are not available before the game, then this scene must be taking place near the beginning of the second half or in the half time interval. This means that Lynne has been waiting for the right time to address the elephant in the room that is Becky's absence. Unless the fans have changed ends at half time (which is the norm in non-league football) and it is just then that they have bumped into Bill in their usual spot.

George makes a massive assumption that the Bob that Becky has left Bill for is the same Bob who sells the half time burgers. Surely there are a number of Bobs in the area? Maybe George knows something we don't. Maybe Becky has been helping out at the burger stand for a number of weeks now, trying to hide her obvious affection for Bob. This love affair has had a detrimental effect on the quality of Bob's burgers, so much so that only George and Lynne are continuing to buy them. Bill is shocked that George knows that it is Bob from the burger van. Now everyone in close proximity will know that Bill's Becky is with Bob who sells burgers. How embarrassing for Bill. He so embarrassed that by the last panel he has completely moved and is replaced by a man in a blue coat.

In hindsight, Lynne could've continued the alliteration that has been going on, but it's difficult to think that quickly when you're choking on undercooked gristle. I'm sure that as soon as she got home she turned to George and said, "Bugger, I should have said to Bill that Bob's burgers are beastly."

NOT A ROBBERY

Lynne and 'Mantha are out for a bike ride. Just as they pass a policeman, Lynne describes a scene in which she has forced her way in somewhere, grabbed what she could and got out as soon as possible. The policeman stops them. Lynne, however, tells the policeman that she wasn't describing a robbery, but the Brown's buffet lunch, which was chaos. We then see that it was indeed chaos.

Lynne and 'Mantha do like to keep fit. This time they are on a tandem. Last time we saw the tandem, we made an assumption that George and Lynne were on holiday. It now may be that Lynne does in fact own a tandem. This is evidence that life was a lot more wholesome in the late 70s. How many tandems do you see now? Not many.

The level of policing in this town really is poor. This policeman is walking around hoping that he'll hear something and he can report back to the station. Is this what he does all day? "Any arrests today Constable?" "Nope, I didn't hear any crimes so there obviously weren't any." Does no one have a phone around there so the policeman have to hope to eavesdrop any crimes? He's actually very lucky. He's one step away from arresting Lynne for a crime that not only did she not commit, but didn't even exist. That's wrongful arrest and is treated very seriously. And did he expect Lynne to just admit to it? He lets her go because she said was describing a buffet. He doesn't try very hard. "Did you murder this man?" "No officer, he fell on my knife." "Righto, off you go then."

When Lynne is describing the Brown's buffet lunch, initially I assumed that the Brown's were a couple, much like the Barkers (who hold excellent summer parties). But this can't be the case, because who would have, when serving a lunch, the word 'lunch' plastered on their dining room wall. No, The Brown is a very popular restaurant in town which has a very well recommended buffet lunch which is very reasonably priced. In fact the food is so good that some of the clientele are physically shaking at the flavours and have to eat the food as soon as they can, standing up if need be. I can only imagine that the queue stretches round the block.

CHORUS

George and Lynne are at the theatre. Lynne asks one of the chorus line to confirm that the director has asked every girl in the chorus for a date. The girl at the head of the line replies that he has, but all the girls told him to get lost. Lynne ends the conversation with a pun on the word chorus saying it was a chorus of disapproval.

George and Lynne seem to be backstage at whatever production they are at. The curtains are right there so it also seems that they are literally backstage, rather than in the dressing rooms. This would imply that they know this woman they are talking to. You never can tell if Lynne doesn't refer to her by name, but in this case we will assume she is a friend. So George and Lynne have gone to the theatre to support their friend and wish her the best of luck. Lynne has dressed up for the occasion but George has decided that an open shirt and a scruffy jacket will suffice. On closer inspection, unless the lighting is casting a colourful shadow, George appears to be wearing his vintage Blackburn Rovers top. This is not appropriate attire for the theatre.

Lynne's friend is not happy. She has been the victim of sexual harassment and is anxious about the security of her job. Perhaps this snippet of George and Lynne's life happened before the incident at the law courts and this is the same woman. They look the same. So we now know what the case was about. However, this woman leads a very contradictory life if she sues for sexual harassment but then, in the same case, offers her phone number to the judge. But she did it and who are we to pass judgement.

Lynne's friend is not happy and Lynne inappropriately makes a joke about it. Not only does she make the joke, which they have undoubtedly heard before because they are in a chorus line, but she gets really close to the lady. Right in her face. That would have upset the lady even more. I suspect this is why George and Lynne are picking her up from the law courts. "Not the right time to make that joke Lynne, this is serious. Just for that you can pick me up from the court tomorrow to make up for it. I'm giving evidence against the director." Now if you look back to what George said, it now seems that he's being extremely sarcastic towards the woman. It all makes sense now.

JUDGE

George and Lynne are picking up an unnamed friend from the Law Courts. Lynne asks her how it went, to which the friend replies that the judge commended her for what she said in court. George asks whether it was for bravely giving vital evidence in such an important case. The friend says it wasn't for that, but giving him her telephone number.

Are George and Lynne actually going to pick up this friend or are they just passing the law courts whilst out for a drive. I suspect the former, but if that was the case wouldn't they park up and wait inside whilst the friend gives her evidence? 'I'm going to court today, can you come with me?' 'No, but we'll pick you up.' Maybe this is feasible, but you would think that the friend would be able to find a friend who would actually accompany her rather than swinging by on the way back from the new boutique.

The friend has left the court and Lynne has asked how it went, which implies that the case was very much affecting the friend, rater than being an eye witness to a hit and run. George uses the words bravely, vital and important, which suggest this is big. Bravely giving evidence means that by doing this she is either recounting something that was personally harrowing for her or, even worse, is putting herself in danger for giving the evidence, maybe due to the fact she was an eye-witness in a murder case, or maybe just saying something which goes against the defendant's alibi. Vital evidence suggests that without this evidence a conviction could not take place. The police have relied on this evidence as the basis of their case. Important suggests that the police could finally convict a local gangster, perhaps of even more magnitude than Dodgy Dave.

So the unnamed friend has just given evidence in a murder case in which a very powerful and dangerous gangster could be locked up putting her very life in danger.... and she gives the judge her phone number! Not only is she so relaxed in what should be a time of great anxiety, but the judge has accepted it! How corrupt is this town? It is the judge who should be investigated. Isn't it normal practice to find the woman in contempt of court? That said, she is wearing a low cut top which is enough to make any mild mannered judge hot under the collar.

SPENDING MONEY

Lynne and an unnamed friend are at the beach. Lynne asks her friend whether her boyfriend is rich. She replies that he is very rich and that he gives her £250 a week to spend. Lynne says that that is ridiculous to which the friend agrees and says she will get him to increase it to £500 a week.

From the look of the beach, Lynne and her friend are in Brighton, for it seems to be a very rocky beach. Is George with her, or is Lynne making the most of the hot weather by taking a trip down to the seaside? Did she travel down with this friend, or has she gone to visit her? From the conversation, it would seem that Lynne is enjoying an impromptu trip down to Brighton to see a friend who lives there.

This friend must have offered to pay for the ice-creams, or lunch, in order for Lynne to have asked such a personal question. But asked it she has. Does Lynne think £250 is ridiculously high, or just that the act of her having an allowance is ridiculous? Is £250 a lot of money to spend in a week? I suppose in the 70s it is. The friend really shouldn't push her luck. Her boyfriend could stop her allowance all together if she asks for too much money. If she wants a bit more money, first ask for £300 and see how that goes down well. By asking for more in smaller increments it might increase her chances of getting more money.

Now, what is happening during this conversation? To the untrained eye, nothing, but closer inspection shows us that Lynne and her friend are constantly swapping sun loungers. The sea never changes its position, so unless that cafe in the background is right on the Brighton pebbles then they have swapped sun loungers twice. Yes, the cafe is on some decking but it must be high tide at the moment for a cafe to be positioned so close to the sea. Perhaps, like many of Lynne's other conversations, there are massive pauses in the dialogue while the women catch some much needed rays, during which time they swap sun loungers to maximise their tans.

SEXY VOICE

George is playing golf with an unnamed friend. During his swing, the unnamed friend tells George that he fell for the love of his life's sexy voice when they first met. George is curious and asks whet she said. The friend replies that she said 'You have the right to remain silent...' thus implying she was a police officer and was arresting him for something. This comment shocks George and makes him play a bad golf shot.

A relaxing day at the golf course is not without its incidents. The man may not be a good friend because this is the first time he is telling George about the time he met his wife, but then again, men in the 70s rarely talk about such things. However, the man never uses the words 'my wife' anywhere. Is he married to this police officer? Or, even worse, is he having an affair with her? He seems older than George so perhaps this love was an unrequited one stretching back to the 50s. Were there even women police officers back then? Women police were only fully integrated into the police force in 1973, and had limited powers of arrest until then. This means that the man has met this woman recently. He must be divorced and has a new object of his desires, a policewoman.

The man may have an eye for the ladies, but his golf course etiquette is something to be desired. What sort of self respecting golfer would recount a shocking end to an anecdote during his opponents tee shot? It's just not done! George should be furious and demand he take that shot again. The grin on the man's face shows that he is fully aware that the end to this anecdote will surprise George, therefore he should have said it after George's shot, that way they could have enjoyed it together as they walked up the fairway. This man could even be ejected from the course.

On closer inspection, this course must be public. Just look at how overgrown the grass is around the tee area as George places his tee in the ground. This must be the only course the man is allowed on in a 20 mile radius of Wimbledon. Banned for life, for bad timing.

LANGUAGES

George is in a swimming pool and asks Lynne, who is standing next to the swimming pool, whether she knows that Kate's husband can speak four languages. Lynne replies that she does know this and tells George that the four languages he speaks are French, German, Italian and foul, which implies that he swears a lot. She says all this whilst jumping into the pool.

Another weekend, another trip away for George and Lynne. Unless it's perpetually hot in the outskirts of Wimbledon, George and Lynne frequently take mini breaks to warmer climes. These surroundings certainly don't look like the Barker's so they must be abroad again. Perhaps this is the reason George mentions the languages spoken by Kate's husband. George has lambasted himself for, in his words, 'not understanding a bloody word round here,' and wishes he knew as many modern foreign languages as the unnamed husband of Kate. It certainly is a bind not being able to even ask for a loaf of bread whilst on holiday.

Lynne, the fountain of knowledge, knew this about Kate's husband. However, one language she doesn't mention is English. Kate's husband is therefore either French, German or Italian and his English is patchy. He therefore fills it with the expletives he has picked up from having only lived in England for a short while like a French exchange student, much to the amusement of Kate's friends who are oblivious to their jingoistic stereotyping of any foreigner in their company when all he wants is to fit in.

Finally we come to Lynne's aggressive entrance to the pool. It is totally unnecessary. She is obviously just trying to be playful towards George but her jump lands very close to George and he is not a natural swimmer. The lady in the pink bikini and the faceless man in the background give a stance that suggests being horrified at the loutish behaviour shown by this English couple. Kate's husband is not the only European that Lynne has upset recently.

LOST

Lynne and 'Mantha are out canoeing. Lynne tells 'Mantha that George is a fan of Lost. 'Mantha replies by saying that Sammy is also a fan of the show. She follows this up by saying the reason they like the show is that they like the idea of being stranded on an island with sexy women. They look over to see what looks like Sammy and George being manhandled by what look like fat ugly women and shout 'Bad Luck Boys!'

I'm very glad to see that Lynne and 'Mantha have decided to be a little more safety conscious than the last time they were on a boat, and in fact the time before that. Life jackets are an essential part of boating. Now that's been sorted, the next item on the agenda will be to buy 'Mantha some new earrings.

After the previous conversation about TV shows, Lynne tries to get some one-upmanship on 'Mantha by telling a show that George likes. She too prefixes the word Lost with the words 'the TV series' to avoid confusion. However, 'Mantha has got confused. She pre-empted this comment as Sammy has told her a list of TV shows he likes, Lost being one of them. She actually did think that Sammy was a fan of being lost and has somehow dumped him and George on Eel Pie Island - remember they all live near Wimbledon. Now George and Sammy truly are lost; oh the irony!

How are George and Sammy going to get home from Eel Pie Island? Will they have to befriend these ugly women to borrow a boat? Don't worry, there is a bridge on the north west side of the island which they can walk across. It will land them on the other side of the river to where they want to be but I'm sure they can phone their wives to pick them up. The only problem will be the deposit they have paid on their life jackets. Well George's deposit anyway who seems to have a white life jacket on while Sammy went against all safety regulations by just wearing his pink polo shirt.

SPECIAL OFFER

Lynne and 'Mantha are showering. Lynne tells 'Mantha that the new cosmetic surgery place has a number of special offers. 'Mantha asks what they are, to which Lynne replies that one is two nose jobs for the price of one. 'Mantha foolishly asks who has two noses, to which Lynne replies that it is aimed at couples.

Lynne and 'Mantha are obviously very good friends to be able to be that liberal with their showering. They have no problems exposing their bodies to each other after what we can assume was a rigorous swim or healthy workout. Are George and Sammy as liberal, or are they far more manly and not even talk to each other at a urinal? Never mind that, look at the colouring of the tiles in the shower. There's only one place that matches green and purple; Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Association. These women have had a workout on centre court! This may answer the forever asked question of where do George and Lynne live. It is answered. They live in or just outside Wimbledon.

Is she just mentioning the cosmetic surgery place, as if it were a new hair salon, as a sly dig at 'Mantha's appearance? I'm sorry Lynne, but 'Mantha does not need cosmetic surgery. However, Sammy does have rather a large nose, so maybe it is a way of altering his appearance. Most of Sammy's charm is in his nose, even though it has gotten very red due to his excessive drinking.

'Mantha's comment is silly. She didn't think about it at all, and Lynne rightly corrects her. If she had let it go it may have made the afternoon go a little smoother. 'Mantha will feel that Lynne has been condescending towards her and will cancel lunch. Lynne will feel guilty for talking down to her friend and have a little cry. She will tell George about what happened who will consequently mention it to Sammy in the pub that night. They will both agree that this little spat is the only silly thing going on around here and talk to their respective wives about a reconciliation. Both couples will have lunch the next day and the disagreement will be forgotten and laughed about over a bottle or two of blue nun.

Maybe.

24

Lynne and 'Mantha are outside. 'Mantha tells Lynne that Sammy is a great fan of the TV series 24. Just then, Sammy comes rushing out of the house much to the surprise of Lynne and 'Mantha. Sammy tells them that he only has 24 minutes to get the pub before last orders. Lynne jokes that Sammy's problems are greater than Jack Bauer, who is the main character in 24.

'Mantha has underestimated Lynne's knowledge of popular culture. She feels she has to insert the prefix of 'the TV series' before she says '24', however later we learn that Lynne not only knows the TV series, but also its main character. What sort of confusion was 'Mantha expecting? Would Lynne think that Sammy is a fan of the number 24 and 'Mantha was making light of his spiral into dementia and increasing obsessive compulsive disorder? Would Lynne think that Sammy has to do everything 24 times lest he gets into a panic and then starts having trouble breathing?

It seems quite light outside but Sammy is racing to get to last orders. What time of year is it? Even if it is in summer it will still be dark outside as last orders in pubs is traditionally at around 10:45pm, but can be as early as 10:35pm. This would make the time, at the earliest, 10:11pm and that would still be dark enough even at the height of summer. On the longest day of the year the sun could set as late as 9:22pm, but twilight only lasts for about 18 minutes, thus making it darkness at the latest 9:40pm; a good 30 minutes before Sammy has rushed out of the door. This leads us to two conclusions: either Sammy has mis-set his watch or he has lots of lights in his garden.

There is a case that Sammy has forgot to wind his watch forward at the onset of British Summer Time, but this is unlikely as it would still make the time 9:11pm, but still too early in the year (or is it late in the year?) for it to be light at that time. So the only solution is that Sammy has fixed a number of bright halogen lights in his front garden. Looking at his front garden, it does look like there are an awful lot of trees surrounding the house. It's as if the house is in a forest. Perhaps this is the reason for fitting the lights. The surrounding vegetation was blocking out so much sunlight that it was constant twilight in their front garden, which constantly confused Sammy about how much time he had to get to the pub.

BAD MONEY

Lynne is out and passes an unnamed woman. This woman talks to Lynne and says that the motto she lives by is never throw good money after bad. Lynne exclaims that this explains why the woman didn't put up bail for her husband when he was arrested recently for forging bank notes. The woman looks unimpressed while she walks away.

Once again, someone walks past the foreground to distract us from the conversation in the background; this time an attractive woman. She has nothing to do with the ensuing altercation between Lynne and the lady with the dog. The woman with the dog is, without doubt, being very condescending towards Lynne, hence her use of the word 'Darling'. Lynne must have asked her for some money, perhaps a new investment she has been thinking about. Or perhaps she has asked this woman, who she knows is rich, and as do we because she is wearing a large gold belt and walking a small dog - a sure sign of wealth, to donate some money to the yacht club which is in desperate need of a cash injection. That would actually explain why the woman gets a chance to tell Lynne what her motto is. Maybe even Lynne is in the street canvassing for donations.

Lynne is upset at the woman's lack of donation so it is time for her comeuppance. Lynne knows this woman, and decides that the whole street should know about her recent news involving her husband. Unfortunately, she chooses her sentence badly as it has far too many words in it to make a real impact. By the time she has got to 'didn't put up bail', the woman has picked up her designer dog, said 'Come on Princess Trixie, we don't need to listen to this rubbish' and stormed off in the direction of the new boutique. The other people in the street aren't interested either, which is a real shame as what Lynne has just said is incredibly ironic. In hindsight, calling her a cheap bitch may have had more impact.

ORCHESTRA

George and Lynne are at a concert. They are near some ladies in matching blue dresses. All three women start a sentence involving an expression which uses an instrument. It turns out they are members of the orchestra, which makes George and Lynne happy.

At first glance, it would appear that our attention should focus on the attractive couple in the foreground. However, it turns out they are merely a distraction and a visual aid to show us just how deep in the throng George and Lynne are standing.

Whether George and Lynne are talking to these women in the blue dresses is a mystery. They are clearly pleasantly surprised when they find out the women are part of the orchestra which would imply that they don't know them, but if they don't know them then they are standing disturbingly close to them. And why do these women not finish their sentences? They seem to be interrupting each other, or their speech falls out of ear shot. Perhaps out of earshot of the attractive couple in the foreground. What they are actually are saying is thus:

Woman 1: I never play second fiddle to anyone so obviously I'm quite disappointed not to be first violin in this particular concert.

Woman 2: Well, I've been known to blow my own trumpet, but I can't be the best trumpet player in this orchestra because I scarcely have a note to play in the second half.

Woman 3: I don't like beating my own drum, though my brand new timpani has turned me into an excellent percussionist.

Of course there is a logical explanation for all of this. George has spotted 3 ladies in blue dresses and wonders why they are dressed alike. Lynne suggests they go and ask them. On the way over they briefly catch parts of their conversation. Just as George is about to ask them about their dresses, they quickly have to run to the stage to prepare for the second half. Both George and Lynne smile as it explains their similar attire.

YACHT LAUNCH

George and Lynne are on a jetty. Lynne, who is sunbathing, tells George that the local yacht club have invited her to launch their new flagship. George asks if it's a bottle of champagne job, as in will she be smashing a bottle of champagne on the ship to launch it. Lynne replies that they will use a bottle of mineral water instead as times are heard, implying the yacht club don't have much money.

George and Lynne must be away again. This idyllic setting, which can incorporate such activities as fishing and sunbathing, is too nice for us not to have seen it before, thus implying that George and Lynne have just discovered it, perhaps in a brochure or magazine. The weather is warm, as Lynne is in a swimsuit, but not too warm as George is still wearing trousers and a shirt, although he has rolled the sleeves of his shirt up, showing that he too is feeling warm.

Why has Lynne been invited to launch the new ship? Is she a benefactor of the club? Is she a long time member? If so, why have we not seen her there before? Her involvement with the yacht club must be well known as George is not in the least bit surprised when Lynne tells him of the invitation. However, he does not seem to know much about the current financial situation of the yacht club as he assumes it will be the customary bottle of champagne launch. His knowledge of the yacht club extends to that so perhaps Lynne has done it before and it is now simply 'her turn' to launch this ship. As he does not know the financial situation of the yacht club, that would mean that Lynne does not talk about her involvement with the yacht club very much. If she was a benefactor or a lifelong member or the vice-president she may talk about the terrible problems the yacht club is facing.

Even though the yacht club is having financial difficulties, they have still decided to launch a new boat. But not just any boat, a flagship no less. This yacht could be in excess of 5o ft in length (I have to say my knowledge of yachts is akin to George's here) so it could be quite an expensive yacht. Wouldn't have been more appropriate to delay the purchase of this new yacht until these financial difficulties were overcome. As vice-president, I would have expected a little more from Lynne. This yacht club is on the brink of bankruptcy and she's authorising the purchase of a new flagship yacht. Well if it must be bought, the least she could do is bring a bottle of champagne herself.

COLLECTIONS

Lynne is having drinks with 3 friends. Lynne points out that all 4 women are into collecting things. Each woman in turn says what they are into. The final and bustiest woman claims she's into collecting husbands and that she's on number 4.

Lynne and her friends are at a wine bar. Lynne has pointed out that they are into collecting things. This may be a casual observation or it may stem from a previous conversation. As usual, from just delving into a snippet of Lynne's life, it is impossible to know exactly how this area of conversation has been arrived at. Also, we have no real way of knowing whether Lynne is wearing any clothes today. As her friends are dressed and it is inside, we'll have to assume Lynne is wearing a strapless cocktail dress.

Although we assumed that each woman in turn decides to say what they collect, this is not the case. Lynne doesn't tell us but the lady in the purple collects postcards or stamps and china figures. Do the postcards and stamps go in the same album? 'This is my china doll collection and in this drawer are a load of postcards and stamps. There's no real structure, but I like to keep them together.' If she does have a postcard and stamp collection, it might be time to get them in order. She may find that she has more stamps than postcards and she could separate them into two separate collections rather than one.

The last lady claims she collects husbands as she is on number 4. She must mean this as a joke, but the joke is on her. In order to have a collection of something, the items must really remain in her possession. Each previous husband is no longer in her possession so it can't be actually claimed as a collection. That is of course unless she keeps her ex-husbands in a basement feeding them fish heads. No, I don't think that is a possibility. A more accurate collection would be of marriage certificates. This could actually be something she could start collecting too by getting marriage certificates of celebrity couples. She could also collect divorce certificates, but she would only have three of those, and therefore not as impressive as her marriage certificate collection.