Lynne looks out the window and proclaims that a squirrel is burying things in their lawn. Due to this, she orders George to do some gardening at the expense of going to the pub. George complies and then holds a can of drink near a hole whilst saying that if you can't beat them......Lynne is clearly annoyed here. It makes you wonder if this has happened before, and if it has, if it's the same squirrel. She seems to know exactly what to do in this situation, send George into the garden. What is George expected to do? Surely the squirrel is just burying nuts or acorns. How much damage is this squirrel doing? Not much; perhaps just a small hole in Lynne's perfectly crafted garden; a mild irritance at most. That may be the case if it was a normal squirrel, but look at the size of this squirrel. It's enormous! It's at least the size of a rabbit. No wonder Lynne is annoyed, and no wonder she's seen this squirrel before. You won't forget a squirrel that size.
The ambiguity of George's actions are extremely intriguing. Is he burying that can, which must be alcoholic, or is he digging it up? If it is the former then there doesn't seem much point. He can't go to the pub so what is the use in burying a can of lager? So he must be digging up a can of lager. A can that he has buried. Perhaps he buried it the last time this mutant of a squirrel struck. So instead of having to re-turf one hole, he now has to do two. I suppose it is a small price to pay to get a drink. However, what he says implies that he is burying the can. The phrase he has started say is 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.' This means that instead of trying to thwart the massive squirrel, he must do exactly what the squirrel is doing, that being burying the can. So either George is pointlessly burying a can of lager, or he has completely misunderstood the meaning of a very popular phrase. Either way, it's a sad state of affairs.
I think this entry needs more uses of the word extremely.
ReplyDeleteThe worrying thing is that hiding drink about the place is a sign of alcoholism. Is Sammy's influence on George starting to tell?
ReplyDeletePerhaps it was George's buried stash of beers that the metal detector was searching for
ReplyDeleteI think smoothpete is onto something here, that metal detector was looking very hard and there seems to be a lot buried in George's garden. Judging by the size of the squirrel, there is some stashed uranium around there and the metal detector could have been looking for that. Everyone knows that in the 70's uranium made things grow to unfeasible sizes. Maybe George is trying to grow his small can into a Party Seven?
ReplyDeleteWhy is Lynne calling the squirrel "darn"? Are their Texas roots in her family that we've not been told about?
ReplyDeleteMaybe she has just seen the latest episode of Magnum P.I., and thinks that a Texan drawl is all the rage for posh English sorts. After all if it is good enough for Jonathan Quayle Higgins III.
ReplyDelete