Monday, January 10, 2011


Lynne is at a computer. She thinks to herself about the next chapter of her autobiography. She tells herself that every important event in her life is included and asks herself if she bought those Jimmy Choo shoes in 2005 or 2006.

Lynne is writing her autobiography. For some reason she thinks that her life will is important and interesting enough that she will get published. She's hooked her ZX Spectrum up to a screen and is typing away.

But what's this? When Lynne goes to look at the screen she sees that there is absolutely nothing on it. She has been the victim of a cruel trick by George who has replaced the small TV from their bedroom, which Lynne was previously using as a monitor, for a dusty old mirror. He knew that Lynne wouldn't tell the difference because she always just looks at the keyboard when she's typing.

Lynne's autobiography isn't a real autobiography at all but a fictionalised one set in the early 21st century. The protagonist of the novel, which is written in the form of an autobiography, is obsessed with clothes and the shoes she speaks of are an essential part of the story. Lynne has done her research and approached a recent graduate from fashion college to ask if she could use his name. The title of Lynne's book is My Autobiography, which in itself is quite clever. The agents will be queuing round the block for this one.


  1. George is being very mischievous indeed today. While she is pondering he switches the purple curtains with some white ones, or maybe he just turns them back to front.

  2. I don't think this was a future speculation by Lynne (writing in the early 1980s about buying Choos two decades later); no. This is Lynne at a later stage, wearing her glasses (which she has hardly ever worn since her Newnham undergrad days). Age is also rendering recalling certain key events in her eventful life increasingly elusive.
    One entry she wrote was on finding George's body after his sudden heart attack.