LOST

Lynne and 'Mantha are out canoeing. Lynne tells 'Mantha that George is a fan of Lost. 'Mantha replies by saying that Sammy is also a fan of the show. She follows this up by saying the reason they like the show is that they like the idea of being stranded on an island with sexy women. They look over to see what looks like Sammy and George being manhandled by what look like fat ugly women and shout 'Bad Luck Boys!'

I'm very glad to see that Lynne and 'Mantha have decided to be a little more safety conscious than the last time they were on a boat, and in fact the time before that. Life jackets are an essential part of boating. Now that's been sorted, the next item on the agenda will be to buy 'Mantha some new earrings.

After the previous conversation about TV shows, Lynne tries to get some one-upmanship on 'Mantha by telling a show that George likes. She too prefixes the word Lost with the words 'the TV series' to avoid confusion. However, 'Mantha has got confused. She pre-empted this comment as Sammy has told her a list of TV shows he likes, Lost being one of them. She actually did think that Sammy was a fan of being lost and has somehow dumped him and George on Eel Pie Island - remember they all live near Wimbledon. Now George and Sammy truly are lost; oh the irony!

How are George and Sammy going to get home from Eel Pie Island? Will they have to befriend these ugly women to borrow a boat? Don't worry, there is a bridge on the north west side of the island which they can walk across. It will land them on the other side of the river to where they want to be but I'm sure they can phone their wives to pick them up. The only problem will be the deposit they have paid on their life jackets. Well George's deposit anyway who seems to have a white life jacket on while Sammy went against all safety regulations by just wearing his pink polo shirt.

SPECIAL OFFER

Lynne and 'Mantha are showering. Lynne tells 'Mantha that the new cosmetic surgery place has a number of special offers. 'Mantha asks what they are, to which Lynne replies that one is two nose jobs for the price of one. 'Mantha foolishly asks who has two noses, to which Lynne replies that it is aimed at couples.

Lynne and 'Mantha are obviously very good friends to be able to be that liberal with their showering. They have no problems exposing their bodies to each other after what we can assume was a rigorous swim or healthy workout. Are George and Sammy as liberal, or are they far more manly and not even talk to each other at a urinal? Never mind that, look at the colouring of the tiles in the shower. There's only one place that matches green and purple; Wimbledon Lawn Tennis Association. These women have had a workout on centre court! This may answer the forever asked question of where do George and Lynne live. It is answered. They live in or just outside Wimbledon.

Is she just mentioning the cosmetic surgery place, as if it were a new hair salon, as a sly dig at 'Mantha's appearance? I'm sorry Lynne, but 'Mantha does not need cosmetic surgery. However, Sammy does have rather a large nose, so maybe it is a way of altering his appearance. Most of Sammy's charm is in his nose, even though it has gotten very red due to his excessive drinking.

'Mantha's comment is silly. She didn't think about it at all, and Lynne rightly corrects her. If she had let it go it may have made the afternoon go a little smoother. 'Mantha will feel that Lynne has been condescending towards her and will cancel lunch. Lynne will feel guilty for talking down to her friend and have a little cry. She will tell George about what happened who will consequently mention it to Sammy in the pub that night. They will both agree that this little spat is the only silly thing going on around here and talk to their respective wives about a reconciliation. Both couples will have lunch the next day and the disagreement will be forgotten and laughed about over a bottle or two of blue nun.

Maybe.

24

Lynne and 'Mantha are outside. 'Mantha tells Lynne that Sammy is a great fan of the TV series 24. Just then, Sammy comes rushing out of the house much to the surprise of Lynne and 'Mantha. Sammy tells them that he only has 24 minutes to get the pub before last orders. Lynne jokes that Sammy's problems are greater than Jack Bauer, who is the main character in 24.

'Mantha has underestimated Lynne's knowledge of popular culture. She feels she has to insert the prefix of 'the TV series' before she says '24', however later we learn that Lynne not only knows the TV series, but also its main character. What sort of confusion was 'Mantha expecting? Would Lynne think that Sammy is a fan of the number 24 and 'Mantha was making light of his spiral into dementia and increasing obsessive compulsive disorder? Would Lynne think that Sammy has to do everything 24 times lest he gets into a panic and then starts having trouble breathing?

It seems quite light outside but Sammy is racing to get to last orders. What time of year is it? Even if it is in summer it will still be dark outside as last orders in pubs is traditionally at around 10:45pm, but can be as early as 10:35pm. This would make the time, at the earliest, 10:11pm and that would still be dark enough even at the height of summer. On the longest day of the year the sun could set as late as 9:22pm, but twilight only lasts for about 18 minutes, thus making it darkness at the latest 9:40pm; a good 30 minutes before Sammy has rushed out of the door. This leads us to two conclusions: either Sammy has mis-set his watch or he has lots of lights in his garden.

There is a case that Sammy has forgot to wind his watch forward at the onset of British Summer Time, but this is unlikely as it would still make the time 9:11pm, but still too early in the year (or is it late in the year?) for it to be light at that time. So the only solution is that Sammy has fixed a number of bright halogen lights in his front garden. Looking at his front garden, it does look like there are an awful lot of trees surrounding the house. It's as if the house is in a forest. Perhaps this is the reason for fitting the lights. The surrounding vegetation was blocking out so much sunlight that it was constant twilight in their front garden, which constantly confused Sammy about how much time he had to get to the pub.

BAD MONEY

Lynne is out and passes an unnamed woman. This woman talks to Lynne and says that the motto she lives by is never throw good money after bad. Lynne exclaims that this explains why the woman didn't put up bail for her husband when he was arrested recently for forging bank notes. The woman looks unimpressed while she walks away.

Once again, someone walks past the foreground to distract us from the conversation in the background; this time an attractive woman. She has nothing to do with the ensuing altercation between Lynne and the lady with the dog. The woman with the dog is, without doubt, being very condescending towards Lynne, hence her use of the word 'Darling'. Lynne must have asked her for some money, perhaps a new investment she has been thinking about. Or perhaps she has asked this woman, who she knows is rich, and as do we because she is wearing a large gold belt and walking a small dog - a sure sign of wealth, to donate some money to the yacht club which is in desperate need of a cash injection. That would actually explain why the woman gets a chance to tell Lynne what her motto is. Maybe even Lynne is in the street canvassing for donations.

Lynne is upset at the woman's lack of donation so it is time for her comeuppance. Lynne knows this woman, and decides that the whole street should know about her recent news involving her husband. Unfortunately, she chooses her sentence badly as it has far too many words in it to make a real impact. By the time she has got to 'didn't put up bail', the woman has picked up her designer dog, said 'Come on Princess Trixie, we don't need to listen to this rubbish' and stormed off in the direction of the new boutique. The other people in the street aren't interested either, which is a real shame as what Lynne has just said is incredibly ironic. In hindsight, calling her a cheap bitch may have had more impact.

ORCHESTRA

George and Lynne are at a concert. They are near some ladies in matching blue dresses. All three women start a sentence involving an expression which uses an instrument. It turns out they are members of the orchestra, which makes George and Lynne happy.

At first glance, it would appear that our attention should focus on the attractive couple in the foreground. However, it turns out they are merely a distraction and a visual aid to show us just how deep in the throng George and Lynne are standing.

Whether George and Lynne are talking to these women in the blue dresses is a mystery. They are clearly pleasantly surprised when they find out the women are part of the orchestra which would imply that they don't know them, but if they don't know them then they are standing disturbingly close to them. And why do these women not finish their sentences? They seem to be interrupting each other, or their speech falls out of ear shot. Perhaps out of earshot of the attractive couple in the foreground. What they are actually are saying is thus:

Woman 1: I never play second fiddle to anyone so obviously I'm quite disappointed not to be first violin in this particular concert.

Woman 2: Well, I've been known to blow my own trumpet, but I can't be the best trumpet player in this orchestra because I scarcely have a note to play in the second half.

Woman 3: I don't like beating my own drum, though my brand new timpani has turned me into an excellent percussionist.

Of course there is a logical explanation for all of this. George has spotted 3 ladies in blue dresses and wonders why they are dressed alike. Lynne suggests they go and ask them. On the way over they briefly catch parts of their conversation. Just as George is about to ask them about their dresses, they quickly have to run to the stage to prepare for the second half. Both George and Lynne smile as it explains their similar attire.

YACHT LAUNCH

George and Lynne are on a jetty. Lynne, who is sunbathing, tells George that the local yacht club have invited her to launch their new flagship. George asks if it's a bottle of champagne job, as in will she be smashing a bottle of champagne on the ship to launch it. Lynne replies that they will use a bottle of mineral water instead as times are heard, implying the yacht club don't have much money.

George and Lynne must be away again. This idyllic setting, which can incorporate such activities as fishing and sunbathing, is too nice for us not to have seen it before, thus implying that George and Lynne have just discovered it, perhaps in a brochure or magazine. The weather is warm, as Lynne is in a swimsuit, but not too warm as George is still wearing trousers and a shirt, although he has rolled the sleeves of his shirt up, showing that he too is feeling warm.

Why has Lynne been invited to launch the new ship? Is she a benefactor of the club? Is she a long time member? If so, why have we not seen her there before? Her involvement with the yacht club must be well known as George is not in the least bit surprised when Lynne tells him of the invitation. However, he does not seem to know much about the current financial situation of the yacht club as he assumes it will be the customary bottle of champagne launch. His knowledge of the yacht club extends to that so perhaps Lynne has done it before and it is now simply 'her turn' to launch this ship. As he does not know the financial situation of the yacht club, that would mean that Lynne does not talk about her involvement with the yacht club very much. If she was a benefactor or a lifelong member or the vice-president she may talk about the terrible problems the yacht club is facing.

Even though the yacht club is having financial difficulties, they have still decided to launch a new boat. But not just any boat, a flagship no less. This yacht could be in excess of 5o ft in length (I have to say my knowledge of yachts is akin to George's here) so it could be quite an expensive yacht. Wouldn't have been more appropriate to delay the purchase of this new yacht until these financial difficulties were overcome. As vice-president, I would have expected a little more from Lynne. This yacht club is on the brink of bankruptcy and she's authorising the purchase of a new flagship yacht. Well if it must be bought, the least she could do is bring a bottle of champagne herself.

COLLECTIONS

Lynne is having drinks with 3 friends. Lynne points out that all 4 women are into collecting things. Each woman in turn says what they are into. The final and bustiest woman claims she's into collecting husbands and that she's on number 4.

Lynne and her friends are at a wine bar. Lynne has pointed out that they are into collecting things. This may be a casual observation or it may stem from a previous conversation. As usual, from just delving into a snippet of Lynne's life, it is impossible to know exactly how this area of conversation has been arrived at. Also, we have no real way of knowing whether Lynne is wearing any clothes today. As her friends are dressed and it is inside, we'll have to assume Lynne is wearing a strapless cocktail dress.

Although we assumed that each woman in turn decides to say what they collect, this is not the case. Lynne doesn't tell us but the lady in the purple collects postcards or stamps and china figures. Do the postcards and stamps go in the same album? 'This is my china doll collection and in this drawer are a load of postcards and stamps. There's no real structure, but I like to keep them together.' If she does have a postcard and stamp collection, it might be time to get them in order. She may find that she has more stamps than postcards and she could separate them into two separate collections rather than one.

The last lady claims she collects husbands as she is on number 4. She must mean this as a joke, but the joke is on her. In order to have a collection of something, the items must really remain in her possession. Each previous husband is no longer in her possession so it can't be actually claimed as a collection. That is of course unless she keeps her ex-husbands in a basement feeding them fish heads. No, I don't think that is a possibility. A more accurate collection would be of marriage certificates. This could actually be something she could start collecting too by getting marriage certificates of celebrity couples. She could also collect divorce certificates, but she would only have three of those, and therefore not as impressive as her marriage certificate collection.