GOSSIP

Lynne is at a work out with two friends and talking about other friends they know. Later when Lynne is home, she comments to George about all the gossip she heard. George makes a pun on the term power walking, which is what Lynne was doing, by calling it power talking. Lynne light heartedly throws a shoe in the general direction of George.

Lynne and her friends have gone to work out in a ladder shop. One of the pieces of gossip is that Carol has left Bill. Is this the same Bill that we met here? If it is then Bill will be happy as he has wanted this for years.

When Lynne gets home, she immediately strips off in the living room with the curtains open. Everyone can see her and George says nothing. But then again George has never been one to tell his wife to cover up.

The most disturbing thing here is not the fact that Lynne could have seriously injured George with her shoe throwing - just look at the ferocity which she throws it - but that George is reading the Sun. What's his reaction going to be when he turns to the cartoons page and sees his life played out in three panels? This is the sort of thing that destroys universes. He must know about it. Maybe he chooses to ignore it. He knows it's there but if he pretends to he doesn't know then the universe is safe.

Also, George has more money than to buy Lynne a pair of knock off Nikes. The tick is the wrong way round! George may have been in a hurry, he is after all the town's best property lawyer, but I expect to know a fake Nike when he sees one.

LOUISE

George and Lynne have gone to a restaurant when Lynne notices a woman in a skimpy outfit by the name of Louise. She is with her latest husband, Tony. Louise and Tony are having an argument, the culmination of which is Louise throwing a plate of food over Tony's head. Lynne makes a joke that it will be a messy divorce both in the legal problems and that Tony is a mess due to the aforementioned food now covering him.

By the way Lynne says 'Oh', there is obviously something George has said before that we don't hear. In this case it is probably along the lines of 'Who is that ridiculously dressed strumpet?', 'Who on earth comes to a modern restaurant dressed like a hooker?' or 'Look at that tart. One of your friends I assume Lynne?'

Tony is Louise's latest husband, thus giving the impression that she has had a few and they have lasted an equally short amount of time. How is Louise getting so many husbands? Has word not got out that they don't last long? Maybe she meets them on holiday. She is obviously very attractive but my does she have a temper on her. To go from dressing seductively for a evening meal to filing for divorce, Tony must have done something pretty bad. He looks pretty shocked and apologetic. It's a shame because he doesn't seem to have got out an explanation. I think this is Louise's problem, she doesn't listen. If she took time to have a conversation with Tony they perhaps could work it out.

The scene doesn't seem to have affected the other customers who don't bat an eyelid at Louise's outburst. Maybe it happens all the time. Maybe that's Louise's 'divorce restaurant', or maybe it's the only place in town that will let her in looking like that.

THIEVES

George and Lynne are out on a tandem. A policeman stops them to warn them of holes in the ground caused by thieves stealing manhole covers. Lynne demands to know what the police are doing about it. The policeman replies that they are looking into it whilst looking down a manhole.

Where did George and Lynne get the tandem from? Where can you get tandems from? The only answer is holiday resorts, which gives the impression that George and Lynne are on holiday. Judging by the razor thin moustache of the policeman, it would seem they are in France. The shops seem to be a music shop called ROCK (very french) and something called Cheses. This is either the tail end of a word or a poor spelling of Cheeses, of which the proprietor should be ashamed. If they are in France, then why is the policeman talking to them in English, without a hint of an accent? Are all french policeman as well versed in foreign languages as this one or is he an exception?

Lynne is quite rude to the policeman, but if they are in France then the standard xenophobia of the late 70s would explain this. However, Lynne has no right to be so rude. Looking at the end, we see just how close George and Lynne where to riding their tandem into a man hole. No one has moved since the policeman stopped them and there is an open hole right there. I hope Lynne apologises as this policeman not only saved them from serious injury, but also he did it in English even though they are in France. If more policeman were like him the world would be a safer place.

GYM

George and Lynne are joining a gym. Lynne claims it will be good for them and George agrees it will build up their stamina. Both comment on what a good workout it is. Afterwards Lynne thinks they should do something but George is so tired he doesn't want to do anything.

Lynne is already a member of a gym. We saw this earlier when she was commenting on Belinda's boob job. But looking at it again, that might just have been a keep fit class. Maybe Lynne go the taste for it and now wants to take her fitness to a new level.

What does George mean by wanting to 'build up our stamina'? Is it another insinuation that he would his love making to last a little longer than it already does? If that's the case then George should be laying off the chablis, as that might be affecting his performance. Also did George not expect to feel good after the workout. He uses the word 'but' when saying that he feels great. This is the sign of a man who hasn't done exercise for a while. Just look at how tired he got digging the allotment. Lynne was right that they should join a gym; George is on a one way ticket to a stroke unless he gets that blood pressure down. Being the town's topmost property solicitor is a stressful job.

Finally, once again Lynne does one of her trademark agonising pauses. George says he feels great in the middle of their workout, but Lynne doesn't respond to that until they are in the car driving home. In the meantime, George has been coughing and spluttering like an asthmatic tortoise. During that time she must have noticed that George was suffering from his first proper exercise in 10 years. She'll need to tell George not to give up though as his stamina will increase after regular visits to the gym.

MOTHER

George and Lynne are at a dance, and notice a very scantily clad lady dancing with a man. Lynne makes a comment about her outfit and George agrees. Lynne decides to say something to the lady about her attire and asks what her mother would say if she knew the lady had that outfit on. Just then another scantily clad lady claims that she is her mother.

Lynne has every right to comment on what the lady is wearing. She is essentially wearing knickers and a plastic see through slip, although I'm sure it's sheer and the light has caught it like that. However, it may not be Lynne's business to confront this woman. She should really have approached the proprietor and asked whether the lady's attire is suitable for the dance.

The lady's mother is not that scantily attired compared to her daughter, but seeing the man she is dancing with, it would seem that she does have rather a low cut dress on for a woman her age. She does look quite young though which gives the impression that she gave birth to her daughter in her late teens or early twenties. Perhaps she is looking for some sort of sugar daddy to fund her and her daughter's extravagant lifestyle (of going to dances and buying revealing outfits).

George meanwhile is as embarrassed as when his wife strips off on a boat to get past a crusty old admiral. Lynne is a hypocrite, although to be fair, she really only goes topless at private parties and in the Mediterranean.

NOVEL

George and Lynne are in the bedroom. Lynne is reading a book in bed topless whilst George is having a glass of white wine. Lynne comments that the book she is reading is good, and wonders if she could write a romantic novel. George says he will help and that she should write from experience thus implying that they should make love.

Initially there are two things we learn. The first is that Lynne wears glasses to read. Maybe she usually wears contact lenses during the day. Were they invented in the 70s? I'm not sure. The second is that George is drunk. We know this because he has foolishly balanced his glass of win eon the duvet. No sober person has such a wanton disregard for the balance of a beverage. If it was his first, there is no doubt that that glass would be securely placed on the bedside table.

We also know George is drunk due to his advances on Lynne. For god's sake man, can't you see the women doesn't want to have sex right now. She's got her glasses on, she's reading her book and now she's physically turning away from George. As George leans in, he has a more secure grip on his wine but who knows where it could go. It almost seems like he's shouting that last word. I do hope that George isn't an angry drunk otherwise Lynne could be in for a rough night.

DIPLOMAT

George and Lynne are in a ski lift with an elderly couple. The gentleman is explaining that he was a diplomat for 30 years but now he is retired. Lynne asks whether he is still a diplomatic person, to which the man replies that he is, and adds that he always remembers his wife's birthday but not how old she is.

George and Lynne are on a skiing holiday as they have a spare bit of disposable income due to the current economic climate (despite what this man thinks) and George's job, which may be a solicitor. They have befriended an elderly couple in a ski lift. They could have met them before in the chalet but this topic of conversation probably would have come up sooner over an apres ski drink. The elderly couple are relatively posh and intelligent due to the fact that they both wear glasses and the man, despite being out in freezing temperatures, still wears a cravat.

This phrase is probably his stock reply when people ask him about being a diplomat. He may be a little tired of saying it but it is guaranteed to always get a laugh. As soon as he says it, they all roar with laughter but it's quite awkward when they stop laughing as there's still a minute until the cable car stops and they've run out of conversation.

MEMORY

Lynne is out for a rollerskate with an unnamed friend in hotpants. This lady says she doesn't believe Merv, who may be a husband or lover, when he says he has forgotten her birthday or their anniversary. Lynne enquires as to why she doesn't. The friend asks her to take a guess as they pass a show advertising Mervyn the Memory Man.

Although it looks like her, this lady is not 'Mantha. We initially think it is, who else would Lynne be rollerskating with, but when this lady mentions Merv we have to assume it isn't 'Mantha.

Let's be honest, Lynne walked straight into this one. The lady has deliberately directed the rollerskating outing to go past the theatre in which Mervyn The Memory Man is performing. Either that or the sight of the theatre made the lady remember about Merv forgetting her birthday, which in a way is ironic as he is a memory man. This is not a big town, we know that from previous stories, so it would seem that Lynne should know that her friend's husband (I think we can assume that) is a memory man and that he is known around town for having an amazing memory.

Maybe though, he's not that well known and this is his first attempt at a cabaret show, or revue. Let's look at the evidence: Lynne's never heard of him, the lady has forgotten where the show is and there are only two people outside, and they don't look that interested. It would appear more likely that Mervyn has forgotten his wife's birthday due to stress of having invested a lot of time and money into his show and it is being deemed a critical and commercial failure. Maybe his wife should think about that.

HENRY

George and Lynne are out in town wen they see Henry and his new wife Maria. Lynne tells George that she is Henry's third wife. George wonders what she sees in him as Maria is attractive and busty whereas Henry is old and bald. Maria clears up this query by proclaiming that Henry had bought her a pearl and ruby necklace. George has a quiet word with Henry, by asking if those are her favourite jewels, to which Henry replies that they are the favourites of his ex-wives, implying that he has given the same necklace to all his wives.

When Maria tells us that she has a pearl and ruby necklace, we are led to believe that this is a new gift, not something that has been used to woo her into marrying Henry. They must have been married before the gift was given. In fact it is likely that this is a wedding gift from Henry to Maria. So Henry must have attracted Maria in a different way. But as all we are given is this information, we must assume that Henry has been giving his ex-wives' possessions as gifts for a long time. How did he get all these items back? Maybe he was rich once and they had to sign some sort of pre-nuptial agreement that said that in the event of a divorce, said gifts had to be returned to Henry as to show that the women never married Henry for his (then) wealth. Well done Henry!

The most puzzling point here is that they are all near a jeweller's. This implies that Henry has had to come up with some elaborate facade in order to trick Maria into thinking he was buying the necklace and not just re-giving it. This must have involved some careful planning and the co-operation with the proprieter of the jeweller's shop. What must he have thought when Henry wanted to use his shop as a front to give his wife a necklace that he already owned? Perhaps Henry didn't tell the jeweller and merely took it in the week before to have it cleaned and valued, thus tricking both his new wife and the jeweller. He must have had faith that his plan would work as the jeweller could have said at anytime that he had cleaned it and it was never purchased at that jeweller's and therefore ruining his entire plan. No wonder Henry looks quietly pleased. His plan worked without a hitch. That said, he probably did the same trick for his second wife.

DNA

Lynne is out in town where she meets an unnamed lady with a baby. Lynne comments on how lovely the baby is, to which the lady replies that she doesn't know who the father is. Lynne suggests a DNA test, and the lady replies it would be the only way to find out if the father was Dan, Nick or Alan, who are all standing nearby.

This red headed lady is a stranger to Lynne, who is merely being kind by commenting on her baby. People who are friends do not say 'Lovely baby' to each other; they would call the baby by its name especially if the baby is as old as that one which must be over 6 months. So if this lady is a stranger, do strangers really say that they aren't sure who the father is? At this point Lynne should have made her excuses and left. No, Lynne is kind and she suggests a DNA test. She probably expected to be told, 'oh OK thanks' and the conversation would be over, but what we get gives an insight to a strange relationship this lady has with her ex-lovers.

The joke of Dan, Nick or Alan is a play on the letters DNA, we know that. Does the lady know that? We don't know. What we do know is that all three ex-lovers are following this lady round town together. Are they all friends? Did she enter some sort of sordid night of sex with all of them at the same time? I think they want some more. Have they been doing this for the last 18 months? Also quite a coincidence that they are standing in that order. Then again we have no way of knowing which one is Dan, Nick and Alan. Two are grey which suggests they are seasoned players in this town's seedy underbelly. I wonder how many other children they've unknowingly sired.

DIGGING

George is digging an allotment whilst Lynne watches. Some other men are also digging nearby. George proclaims that it is hard work and Lynne suggests he take a break. Lynne says that she will get the works done, one way or another. The nearby men get closer to Lynne and George has a surprised expression.

Where this allotment is, we don't know but George is not suitably attired. The jeans may be an old pair but a short sleeved white shirt is no garment for an allotment, especially when there's digging to be done. Look at the other men; it's shorts and t-shirts all round. This must be a newly acquired allotment if there are 4 separate men deciding to dig on that day, or it's the first good Saturday they've had in a month.

How long has George been digging? More importantly, how long has Lynne just been watching in a pair of hot pants? Never mind, as long as she's helping now. Lynne knows that the men will crowd round and offer to help, which is probably why she offered her services to George in the first place. Is George puzzled at how Lynne will get the work done, or the effect she has on nearby men in general? It can't be the latter as he's been married to her for about 8 years and she's got topless on a high number of occasions.

The most alarming thing about this tale is the man in the black t-shirt. When George is digging he is wearing some tatty jeans and going about his business. However, when he crowds round Lynne something sinister has occurred. He has now discarded his jeans and is standing there, hand on hips in his white boxer shorts. Don't try telling me he had tennis shorts underneath his trousers; the man is in his pants. That is what George should be puzzled about.

LINE DANCING

George arrives home from work and tells Lynne such. Lynne tells him to get changed for Line Dancing. George knew nothing about this before hand but seems to be quite pleased that they are going.

George has just returned home from the 1950s. Even in the 1970s, where George and Lynne live, no one wore a hat to work. Lynne really should have given George a bit of warning as he's been hard at work all day and he may not want to go Line Dancing. In fact he does actually seem a little bit annoyed that Lynne has arranged this without his knowledge.

George's change of mood can only be attributed to Lynne's attire, which is risque to say the least. Whether George's mood will stay as high when he realises that he will go all the way to Line Dancing for Lynne to be turned away for dressing like a trollope and then come home having wasted a whole evening without any dancing, country music or hanky panky (because Lynne's mood change was as drastic as George's, although in the opposite direction due to the aforementioned lack of dancing), remains to be seen.

HIKING

George and Lynne have gone on a ramble with Sammy and 'Mantha. 'Mantha tells us that Sammy leads the hike as he's good at finding places. Lynne is amazed that he doesn't even look at the map. George jokes that Sammy doesn't need to look at the map as he can smell alcohol from a mile off. Sammy finds a pub and yells Eureka in a homage to Archimedes.

It's nice that these two couples do things like going on walks rather than just go to pool parties. It shows that they really all do get along. In addition, a hike is a good way of getting Sammy out and about rather drinking himself into a stupor.

'Mantha doesn't just tell us that Sammy is good at finding places but practically orders everyone to let Sammy lead. Maybe it's because he will turn to drink even more if he doesn't get his own way. However, what they don't know is that Sammy was always looking for a pub. 'Mantha and Lynne probably think that George's comment about Sammy smelling drink is a joke when in fact it isn't. Sammy can smell drink from a mile off. To be honest it's not that difficult to find a pub when going for a ramble so it was bound to happen sooner or later that Sammy would get his drink on. It is a problem that they really need to deal with, but after the pub lunch. 

DIET

Lynne is at dinner or lunch with friends Alice and Angelina. Alice complains that no diet she tries seem to work to which Angelina agrees. Lynne seems confused that Angelina needs to diet. Angelina explains that she means a man free diet and walks off with a man.

The dinner is ending as all three women have coffee cups. Alice must have started her conversation about diets as the dinner may have seemed quite fattening to them. Normally I would be confused that Lynne, who usually only keeps the company of young busty women, would be having dinner with someone who is obviously older than her, but I like this fact. Maybe they all have some sort of part time job together, or they were old work colleagues that Lynne hasn't seen for a while.

Angelina is fishing for attention with her comment. The whole table knows full well that she has no trouble with her weight and wants someone to say so. In between Lynne asking this question and Angelina has replied, there is what seems to be the norm here of a long awkward pause. Angelina has walked around and found a man to leave with and then answers the question. How long must this have taken? Did she proposition every man in the restaurant? Or just try and catch their eye?

In fact I bet Angelina met this man earlier, and consequently tried out the man diet line knowing full well that she was going home with a man. The whole thing is for effect. We should have known this was going to happen as Angelina is showing part of her nipple, a sure sign that she is a tramp. 

Two more things spring to mind here. Firstly, who is this man with that he can just take home a stranger he meets at a restaurant? If it's with his friends they must have been egging him on. Look how wide his shirt is, the man is obviously drunk. Secondly, Angelina has left without leaving any money for the food she's just eaten. If she makes a habit of this she won't be invited out to these work reunions.

ANOTHER WOMAN

Lynne is sunbathing topless with an unnamed friend (it could be Ellie but I doubt she'd get married to someone that quickly even if she did break up with the saxophone man). Her husband brings them some iced tea, to which the friend says that he will do everything for her. The man says that every man should have a woman who appeals to his better qualities. He then says he should also have another woman to make him forget about them, thus implying he needs another woman for his evil side and therefore have an affair with.

Are Lynne and her friend completely naked? It's difficult to tell. I know it's hot but being completely naked might not be totally necessary. Both Lynne and her friend seem to like the comment by smiling at him, giving the impression that it was a lovely thing to say. The husband then goes off to the front of the house to meet another unnamed woman to finish his sentence. What he says is in bold and italics, meaning he is both shouting and whispering those words. 

What sort of town is this? Everyone under the sun is having an affair at the drop of a hat. This man has a wife who gets naked in the back garden but he is more than happy to find another woman to perform sordid sex acts with. We can only assume that his wife is denying him any sexual activity, but still isn't an excuse. And how long has this woman been waiting outside? Did she come round and then the husband said 'Hang on a minute, I'm just making my wife and her friend some iced tea and I'll be right out.' And he's about to go off in his vest and shorts with this woman? She's certainly kidding herself. He's not going to leave his wife, that's for sure.

BELINDA

Lynne and 'Mantha are at the gym. Lynne comments that it is Belinda's  birthday today. 'Mantha asks if she's been given the bumps, to which Lynne replies yes she has but only since her boob job. We then see Belinda being given the attention of three local men whilst one of her nipples almost pops out.

There is nothing untoward happening here; Lynne has merely commented that it is Belinda's birthday today. Maybe because she saw Belinda outside the gym, or maybe she was wondering why they all aren't going for a lunch or something. It's 'Mantha's comment which is puzzling. These women are probably in there late 20s or early 30s, have husbands and live in a suburban town. Why on earth would they be giving a friend the bumps? 'Mantha asks this question so matter of factly that she expects someone will give Belinda the bumps. No 'Mantha, no one is giving Belinda the bumps.

Lynne brushes off this nonsense by saying that she has only been bumped since her boob job. This boob job must have happened recently as we then see the well endowed Belinda showing off her large breasts. Lynne's comment implies that, and this is if being bumped is a double entendre for having sex, Belinda has only had sex since her boob job. What was wrong with her before? We can only assume that she had serious self confidence issues from having strangely shaped breasts, so much so that it stopped her having any physical relationship with any man. Now, however, since her recent surgical enhancement she has been getting her end away left right and centre with any man who makes a shocked face at her. 

Bravo to you Belinda for gaining your confidence, but please don't turn into the town slut, and if you're going to sleep with any of those men, make it the man in the black suit as the man in the blue suit is walking away and the man in the brown suit has all the wrong body language.