GARAGE BAND

Lynne and 'Mantha are eating ice cream when Lynne tells 'Mantha that she went to see a garage band at the weekend. 'Mantha asks if it was any good to which Lynne replies that it was very cramped. 'Mantha asks if that was because there were too many people there but Lynne explains that is was actually because there was a car, some bicycles and a lawnmower there.

Lynne and 'Mantha seem to have been transported to the set of a John Hughes movie. They are casually eating ice-cream whilst wearing cropped trousers and sitting on ledges. Is this the local park or college? It is very difficult to understand where they are. The background looks like the outside of a council building or new library. Maybe this is where 'Mantha works and Lynne has popped in for an impromptu ice cream to take advantage of the clement weather.

Lynne says that 'we' went so we can only assume that she went with George. George seems like the sort of man who wouldn't be interested in popular music but perhaps he will do anything Lynne asks him to do. He wanted to stay home and sample that new scotch he bought or watch Surprise Surprise, but not this Saturday. He has been dragged to see loud music because Lynne wants to regain her youth.

It is a wonder who got the wrong end of the stick about this garage band. Was it Lynne who didn't realise the band were actually playing in a garage or those people who brought their transport into the concert. You can understand if a few people asked to leave their bikes in the corner but you have to wonder firstly how they got a car in there and secondly who came to the show on a lawnmower? Perhaps it was a sit-on lawnmower and the owner was worried it might be stolen if he left it outside. The owner of this venue should be a little more strict with his patrons parking if he wishes to attract bands bigger than The Chesterfield Kings, who George and Lynne went to see.

FLIRT

George and Lynne are in the car. George is unhappy that Lynne always flirts with other drivers in traffic jams. When they arrive, George asks her why she doesn't flirt with him. Lynne replies that she doesn't want to distract him but George says it's a bit late for that.

George really does look upset with Lynne's flirting. If it is a large traffic jam there's quite a few men that Lynne will be flirting with. The luxury haired man she is currently smiling at looks pretty happy with his current situation but he must know it isn't going to lead anywhere. Maybe he is just happy that a pretty lady smiled at him. He will have to be careful if the jam eases though as he is not looking in front of him at the moment.

When they arrive at their destination George confronts Lynne about the incessant flirting. What an awkward drive it must have been. After they got out of the traffic jam Lynne will have been making normal conversation and George will be increasingly distant and fiddling with the radio. Lynne has obviously asked 'Oh for heaven's sake George, what's wrong?'.

So this is the outside of George and Lynne's house. Although we have seen a variety of close ups, usually when George is tinkering with his car, we have never seen the outside of their house. It is a nice house; it is what looks like a detached house with its own driveway and garage. There is little to no attic space so options for a vertical extension are non-existent. We must assume that it is a good purchase though as George, a leading local property lawyer, wouldn't buy a turkey of a house. Unless he is just a pawn in Lynne's game, but then Lynne would know a good property when she sees one.

ROOM WITH A VIEW

George and Lynne are at the reception of a hotel. George has asked the man at the front desk if they have a room with a view. The man returns the question by asking George to be more specific. George motions towards two scantily clad women and says he would like a view of women like them.

George and Lynne have gone away but it must have been a very spontaneous decision as they have not reserved a room at the hotel. They have however packed three suitcases worth of clothes so it can't have been that spontaneous. Maybe George just completely forgot to book the hotel. He is nervous about the prospect of getting a room at short notice as he has decided to speak to the hotelier in a very casual over familiar way but combining the words do and you into d'you. Lynne looks a little cross and not very hopeful of getting that room.

They have gone on this extended break in England as the hotelier looks proper and speaks very good English. Of course there is no real way of knowing if he is speaking with an accent but he certainly understands George even though he is combining words in an underclass way. The name of the hotel begins with a K which implies that it could be Greek or Scandanavian, but we have no real way of knowing this.

George, although he has forgotten to book a room and how to speak, is still enough of a cad to bring two women to the attention of another man. Lynne looks cross. George wouldn't be smirking so much if he could actually see the faces of those women. He can only see their backs and believes them to be attractive. They are in fact just a couple of local transexual prostitutes who prey on married men. Lynne is not only cross that George is looking at other women, but that he has a thing for women who look like men.

TATTOO

George and Lynne are in the garden where George is applying suntan lotion to Lynne's back. Lynne tells George that she once thought about getting a tattoo. After George asks what kind, Lynne tells him it would be the name of her favourite sexy man. George ask if she didn't end up up getting it and Lynne replies that she didn't because she couldn't decide on Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp.

Lynne has started this conversation about tattoos. This is probably because she has been reading a popular music magazine and has seen rock stars with tattoos. When George asks what kind of tattoo, surely he means what would you have done rather than what kind? Are there different types of tattoo? It's just hot ink under the skin. This is of course unless Lynne has discovered the tattoos where something else is placed under the skin to give it a 3D feel. The tattoo parlour in Wimbledon must be state of the art. No biro, needle and candle here.

'What kind?' is not the only stupid question George asks. He asks Lynne if she went through with it. Has he not been married to her for 10 years? Does he not know if she has a tattoo or not? You may understand it if Lynne was a shy retiring woman who got changed in the bathroom and only copulated under cover of darkness, but this is Lynne we are talking about. She's more often naked than not. George just doesn't pay enough attention to his wife. This conversation might be loaded by Lynne to see if has noticed she doesn't have a tattoo and George has fallen for it.

Brad Pitt's name has come up again. This local Brad Pitt from Wimbledon (or the young exchange student) is still on Lynne's mind. Johnny Depp, however, we have never heard of. Being 20 in 1983, this could be the same Johnny Depp but here is a more viable explanation. Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp are the names of the two competing tattoo artists in Wimbledon. They are both highly regarded and both came up with original designs to ink on Lynne's body, but unfortunately Lynne decided she didn't want to hurt either of their feelings so she opted out of the tattoo. Since then both tattoo parlours have been shut down due to health and safety violations, so Lynne was quite lucky. Hepatitis was just around the corner.

COGS

George and Lynne are in bed. George tells Lynne that his boss said that they were all cogs in the company machine but some are old, rusty and out of use. George puts Lynne's mind at ease by telling her that he was not one of them. Lynne agrees.

George has had a bad day at work but he is glad he can discuss it with Lynne before they go to sleep. It sounds like the staff at George's work have not been firing on all cylinders and that the boss is not happy. She has already fired, and physically abused, an employee for being too old and now it seems she is threatening to fire anyone over the age of 50 without hesitation. Is that anyway to run a business?

George has been given the dreaded vote of confidence. He seems happy about this but it means he will have to work extra hard to prove his worth to the company. If his numbers next month are below par he won't be lasting long. It must be hard for George to work in that sort of environment.

Lynne seems to know just how George gets on at work. Is she moonlighting in his office in order to bring in some money? Perhaps she is a silent partner and has a deep secret that she has kept from George all these years. This is why she's happy with spending all that money. To George she stays at home all day and lunches with various friends, but actually she is a high powered business woman. It may be that she has employed George herself from behind closed doors to give him the impression that he is the bread winner of the two, when in fact he has no idea what he's doing and every report he turns in is complete drivel. His pay packet is a fabrication and Lynne secretly deposits a wage into his account every month. On a particularly busy month she sometimes forgets and this is why George keeps thinking he is broke. The truth is that they do not have any money worries at all.

PRICE OF FAILURE

Lynne is sitting on George's car and asks him what the price of failure is. George replies that the price of his failure to spot a speed camera was a £60 fine.

George and Lynne the vampire chronicles continues although Lynne has made a little bit more effort to hide her immortal skin tone than George has. You'd think that with that much make-up to apply that she wouldn't constantly be wearing such revealing outfits. We will accept that George and Lynne have a sinister other life and speak no more about it.

Lynne is sitting on the bonnet of George's car which might be very distracting for him when he is trying to pump up the front tyre. It may also make it a little bit trickier as the extra weight is adding to the pressure on the tyre. Could he not just ask her to get off the car while he is pumping the tyres? Lynne must think she is not that heavy, but she may be in for a shock if she gets off that car and finds she's left a dent.

George is going to any length to avoid that speeding fine. He may actually be letting air out of his tyres to show a policeman, or a court, that he wasn't even out driving that day, but repairing his car. He has also decided to change the number plates. This could be George's last £60 and there is no way he will pay it, even though changing his number plates may have been just as expensive, unless he has called in a favour from a local gangster. If he has then he might be in for more than he bargained for later on. Never owe a gangster anything. Lynne, time to call your mother again.

LYNNE'S MOTHER

Lynne is lying on her bed and tells George that she rang her mother but she was out shopping. George asks if she was out with her new billionaire husband. Lynne says that she was and that they went out to buy the latest model. George asks if it is a car they are buying but Lynne tells him it is a Lear Jet and throws a paper aeroplane.

Lynne rang her mother yet she knows exactly where her mother is. In this day and age before the mobile telephone she must have just got the answering machine. This suggests that Lynne's mother is just the sort of person who will change her answering machine message every time she leaves the house so any potential callers will know exactly where she is. That is a lot of wasted minutes.

It seems that George and Lynne's money troubles are over. Lynne's mother has married a billionaire. This is most probably the reason Lynne has been spending so readily recently. She is hedging her bets a bit thinking that her mother will give her a lot of money if they get too deep in debt. Lynne may have been calling her mother to ask for money but she could have just been calling to show what a loving daughter she is, so that when the time comes when she has to ask for money it won't be out of the blue.

Talking of blue, both George and Lynne look incredibly pale. Has their nutrition gone so downhill with the lack of money and food? The other explanation is that George (or Lynne, but why would Lynne dream of herself in her underwear) is dreaming and in this dream he and Lynne are in fact zombies or vampires. Unless of course this is real life and George and Lynne really are the undead. Everyday they have to put on make-up to make themselves look alive enough to blend in with the human race. In truth, every night they lure one of Lynne's friends back to their house to feast on her blood. That is the reason we only see these friends once.