Wednesday, February 3, 2010

GOALKEEPER

George and Lynne are at a football match. Lynne asks a fellow supporter which player asked her out to which the woman replies it was the goalkeeper. The woman asks Lynne if she should say yes. Lynne replies that it all depends on whether she wants to end up as just another notch on his goalpost.

George and Lynne are back at the football match. The stewards cannot be expecting any crowd trouble as rival supporters are sitting right next to each other in the same stand. George and Lynne favour this stand when going to the football, as does the man sitting next to George. Last time he was sitting behind them but this time he is sitting in the same row. This shows that season ticket holders do not have their own seat. The man next to George is still favouring wearing a cap, and has also had his ear pierced between the warm weather of the last game and this, which is in mid-winter.

The supporters at this game must be waiting for the results of a last minute pitch inspection. When we see the view from behind Lynne, we can clearly see that the pitch is completely covered with snow. You can't even see the lines. It is a wonder why the referee hasn't already called the game off and saved the fans a cold trip to the stadium. The only explanation must be that the pitch was fit to play but during the last ten minutes of the first half and the half time break there has been an almighty snow storm and the officials are now wondering whether the second half can be played.

What a cad this goalkeeper is. Everytime he sleeps with a woman he puts a notch on his goalpost. This must be the goalpost at the home end of the ground so the faithful can remark on whether he has been successful between the last home game and this. I'm not sure what the groundsman will think of all this, and what is he using to make these notches? Carrying a pen knife on to the field of play is surely against FA rules. And has he done this at every club he has been signed to? He must be an exceptional goalkeeper for managers and chairmen alike to allow such wanton destruction of club equipment.

1 comment:

  1. Firstly, Lynne seems to know an awful lot about this goalkeeper. Is she perhaps one of his conquests, forced to seek out a more loving relationship with a stranger due to George's seedy and disturbing hobby as revealed yesterday?

    Secondly, does the goalkeeper do the dirty deed with his conquests in the six yard box? Otherwise, why would he mark the goalpost instead of his bedpost which would, in theory, be much closer? If he does get down to it on the pitch, he sounds as seedy as George and Lynne won't find her more meaningful relationship there.

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