Thursday, February 18, 2010


Lynne is in the bath. George calls out that he loves her doll collection. Lynne is confused and gets out of the bath. George comes in and confirms that it is her baby doll dress collection he likes. He then asks which one she will be wearing tonight.

Lynne has filled the bath a bit more tonight but she still can't get her entire body submerged. The bath looks like it's filled to near the top so perhaps Lynne is actually 6' 7” tall. This can't be right as that would mean George, Sammy, 'Mantha and any other friend she comes across will also be a giant. The most likely explanation is that the previous owner of their house was shorter than average and had a custom bath fitted to his own specifications. In their haste to get a quick sale, George and Lynne neglected this part of the property. It is on George's to do list to fit a new bath but at the moment he has neither the money nor the time.

Lynne seems quite startled after George calls out. It is almost as if George put on a fake funny voice to match his exclamation. He was perfecting his Hugh Scully impersonation pretending that Lynne's doll collection had a high value. Lynne thinks for a moment that this isn't George and immediately jumps out of the bath and grabs a towel to see who this mystery man is. Any fear she had is quickly dampened by seeing George and not Hugh Scully.

If George thinks that two dresses constitutes a collection he has very low expectations. The number of baby doll dresses should amount to at least 8 before it can be considered a collection. We do not know however if Lynne has a substantial amount still in her wardrobe and George has just picked out two of his favourites, or even the two he hasn't seen worn for a while. If these are the only baby doll dresses Lynne has then it pales in comparison to 'Mantha's earring collection (29 pairs), and Sammy's empty scotch bottle collection (too many to count). Now those are real collections.


  1. Not only need he refit a proper bath, he needs to address the chronic mildrew problem which is infesting the bathroom. The mould is all the way up the wall, George.

    It's a disgrace.

    And before you look too impressed with his single entendre, Lynne, you should put that towel on a hot wash and then wash the mouldy streaks out of your hair, too. Mouldy hair will be extremely off putting at the Wimbledon baby doll wife swap meet.

    This house is looking more and more like the inside of a house of horrors: Mold, kitsch pillows, bars on the window, botched DIY, unkempt gardens and suspected wife swapping parties in fetish gear. Fred and Rose eat your heart out

  2. I think Lynne needs to cut back on the bubble bath as well. All those chemicals can't be good for her skin.