LARRY THE LAWYER

Lynne is having a massage. The masseuse asks Lynne to confirm that she simply asked Larry the lawyer how his family was. Lynne does confirm this and adds that he spent two hours telling her and then handed her a bill for £400.

This is no ordinary massage parlour. With all the equipment, Lynne must be at a physiotherapist of some kind. The woman is wearing what look like OR scrubs. Does this mean that that Lynne is being prepped for an operation? She has been going to the doctor a lot recently so perhaps the most recent doctor has seen something that needs to be operated on. The nurse or surgeon seems to be prodding around Lynne's liver or kidneys and Lynne looks to be in pain. This could be a serious operation.

If the operation is so serious, why is the woman having a normal chat with her? This woman must be an anaesthetist and is trying to relax Lynne as the anaesthetic kicks in. It's an alternative to counting back from 10 but she feels this method really does relax the patients.

Initially we thought that Lynne was here to have liver or kidneys operated on. However on closer inspection this is probably the most complicated operation that has ever taken place in this hospital. It appears Lynne does not have any legs, or at least none below the knee. Has Lynne always been like this? How did she lose them? Whatever the story, she has found a surgeon who can finally do a full leg transplant on her. The woman doctor is finding the right tendons and muscles so the new legs can be attached. It's a ten hour operation and everyone is incredibly nervous but Dr Campbell is the world's leading limb transplant specialist. Good luck Dr Campbell.

BEST SEAT

George and Lynne are at the theatre. Near the stage, a man in complaining that he paid for the best seat in the house and he hasn't got it. An usher apologises and promises to find him another seat. The man sees Lynne and changes his mind, now thinking he does have the best seat in the house after all.

The man in the background is not happy with his seat. To be fair, if he has indeed specifically asked for the best seat in the house he should expect a box of some kind. Instead he has been given a seat in the front row. Some people may believe this to be the best seat but other people prefer a more panoramic view of the stage. The man is taken all the way to the front of the stage before he realises the seat he is being offered to is not in fact the one he wanted. He probably thought he was going to be led through a side door to the Royal Box.

The usher is extremely apologetic and does in fact promise to find the man another seat. Is the Royal Box available? Could it be that a young Princess Di is attending tonight's performance? Is this in fact the Royal Variety Performance 1983 where the audience will be subjected to such acts as The Roly Polys, The Rock Steady Crew and Bonnie Langford? If it is then it is foolish for this man to think that he would be allowed to have the best seat in the house. Even if it is for charity, it's not that easy to be able to sit next to the Queen.

At the end the man believes his original seat to be the best seat in the house after all because he now has a good view of Lynne's cleavage. However he is now behind George and Lynne, which means that the seat in the front row was not his original seat after all. It now seems that after he was told he wasn't allowed in the Royal Box he was shown a selection of seats, the second of which was the front row, to which he said "But I paid for the best seat in the house" to all of them. The first seat he was shown is the one behind George and Lynne and now they have sat down he realises that this initial option was in fact the best. It's now clear that staring at Lynne's chest counts as far better entertainment than Wayne Sleep or the British Amateur Gymanastics Team.

BIGGER BOOBS

George and Lynne are in line at the airport. The woman behind the counter asks Lynne if there is a problem. Lynne replies that it is ridiculous that the airline charges for bigger boobs. George says that it may only be for flights to Brazil.

George and Lynne are at an airport. The line they are in at the moment appears to be for the complaints counter as the lady behind the counter, who appears to be from the war, asks Lynne what the problem is. This is this lady's usual first line to anyone who comes to make a complaint. It is a thankless job but she has tried to reduce the stress levels with the addition of a plant.

Lynne tells the woman that another woman has told her that the airline she wishes to travel on charges extra for bigger boobs. Is this really the case? How can this airline get away with such discrimination? Possibly Lynne has misunderstood and you can pay extra if you would like a stewardess who has an ample bosom, but still this is very unprofessional. If Lynne really has got her information correct, for what reason would this airline be charging extra? Are the seats very close together? Would they have to fit a different drop down tray for those ladies with large breasts? This airline needs to reconsider its policies if it wishes to make itself a market leader.

George thinks that they might only add this surcharge for flights to Brazil. George has emphasised the syllable Bra in Brazil to show that it has something to do with boobs. However, by emphasising the syllable of Bra he has now mispronounced the word Brazil, thus making him look either ill-educated or very pompous for pronouncing it like that. His joke has backfired and now everyone is looking at him quizzically wondering what his reasoning is for suspecting the surcharge is only for those wishing to travel to South America. Does this mean also that George and Lynne are going to Brazil for their holiday? Lynne is certainly dressed for sunnier climes but her lack of hand luggage shows that she is also ill-equipped for such a long haul flight. What with the extra money she'll have to pay, there maybe not enough cash left for the bar; the only way she'll get through this long haul flight without something to read.

TAKEAWAY

Lynne is cooking for 'Mantha. She then tells 'Mantha that Nancy met the man of her dreams when she ordered a takeaway. 'Mantha marvels at the fortune of Nancy but Lynne sets her straight when she tells her that this man was married with six children.

This friend Nancy must have pretty low standards if the man of her dreams is a takeaway delivery man. Do prospects not come into it when thinking about dream partners? We do not know what this delivery man looked like but if his job is a delivery man then it seems Nancy needs to set her targets a little higher. She may just have been happy that the pizza place just delivered something, regardless of the topping.

After all that she didn't even get a whole pizza as Lynne tells 'Mantha she only got a slice. It now all fits together. The delivery man does actually have quite an interesting day job, perhaps artist or musician, but as it doesn't pay well and he has so many mouths to feed at home he has had to take on a second job of pizza man to pay the bills. He is so destitute that he had to eat all but one slice of the pizza he was delivering to Nancy on the way over. To recompense her, he has agreed to go out with Nancy, but only when it fits around his busy schedule of having two jobs, a wife and six children.

How nice it is for Lynne to cook for 'Mantha. It's not every day that a friend will cook for you. However 'Mantha may be getting a little more than she bargained for as by the end we can see that Lynne is topless underneath that apron. Of course there is a logical explanation. Lynne and 'Mantha have been sunbathing and Lynne unfortunately has got badly sunburnt on her back, as we can see, so it is quite painful for her to put her top back on. She asks politely if 'Mantha minds if she just puts an apron on while the aftersun lotion does its work. 'Mantha is fine with that.

HOT TODDY

George and Lynne are at a bonfire. An unnamed woman tells them that she has lost her husband. Lynne asks her when she last saw him, to which the woman replies that he went to find a hot toddy to warm himself up. All three see the husband kissing another woman and George remarks that he has found himself a hot totty to warm himself up.

It is a cold evening and the fire is raging. We can only assume that George and Lynne have gone to a fireworks evening. Who holds a fireworks evening at this time of year? The people of Wimbledon must have been celebrating the end of February for some reason. This must 1984 and the council were hoping for a lot of women to be proposing to their boyfriends but it's more likely the celebration was to mark the 50th anniversary of the Reichstag fire.

Both George and Lynne are wearing scarves to protect themselves from the cold but this woman is only wearing a top and relatively thin jacket. To add to that she hasn't even done her coat up. She must have been standing very near the fire recently to be that warm. It is likely that her and her husband have had an argument about how best to keep warm. She insisted that standing near the fire was best whereas he thought a hot drink would be better. This may have been a ruse however.

This man has some nerve. He is openly kissing a woman who isn't his wife in a public place. Has he been having an affair with this woman or is this romantic clinch purely based on a mutual love of hot alcohol? Granted, this new woman is far more attractive than his wife but that is no reason to kiss her. Does he do this a lot? Is it socially acceptable to kiss another woman as long as she is more attractive than your wife? What we don't know is that the husband and wife may have a pact that they are each allowed to kiss one other person during their marriage. The husband has taken this opportunity to do it now. Watch out George, that lady could be making a lunge for you any second.

MINI MARATHON

Lynne is out jogging with her friend Alice. She asks Alice to confirm to her that her personal trainer promised her to get her fit for last week's mini marathon. Alice does confirm this and adds that if he didn't he swore he'd carry her round the course. Lynne decides this is the reason why he is off work now with a bad back.

Alice is a lady we've met before and she is constantly looking to lose weight. This current regime has involved training for a mini marathon, which was last week. Even though it has been and gone, Alice is determined to lose weight so has decided to continue with her jogging regime and asked Lynne to join her. He jogging route takes her into town past a woman's shop presumably so she can window shop whilst losing weight.

Alice is visibly sweating now which shows that she is indeed not fit. Having looked at her physique and age, her personal trainer may have been a little foolish with his oath. Just how long has he been her personal trainer? It seems that he is new to her and thought his previous track record would be good enough to whip Alice into shape. There could be an explanation that he has been Alice's personal trainer for a while now and he was at the end of his tether and made a wild promise to try and spur Alice into action.

Lynne has made an assumption that the personal trainer is off work with a bad back due to carrying Alice around the course. We do not know if this is the real reason and neither does Lynne. It is likely that Alice's personal trainer is also Lynne's personal trainer, hence why they have to run together today. Alice looks a little shocked at Lynne and is now fuming at what she has just heard. Alice will undoubtedly turn to Lynne and say 'No actually he did it lifting a wardrobe. I did the mini marathon and ran the 3 miles in 30 minutes actually, so bugger off.' Alice will calm down later but the friendship may be in tatters. If only she simply produced her certificate for finishing. You would think that she would carry it around because she is so proud of her achievements.

MINE

George and Sammy are fishing. George tells Sammy that Old Ned once caught a mine while out fishing. Sammy is a little bit shocked and asks what he did. George tells him that he said 'Yours not mine I believe' to the bloke next to him.

George is recounting a story involving Old Ned to Sammy. It has come to his mind because it involves fishing, which is what George and Sammy are doing. It is either not a very good story because George hasn't told Sammy sooner or George has only recently heard about it. It might be that he heard it a week or so ago but decided to hold on to it until his and Sammy's pre-planned fishing trip, thinking it would be an excellent situation to bring up Old Ned's story as it might not have the desired effect if he told it in the pub.

Sammy is shocked by the first part of the story. He could either be shocked because he is concerned for the well-being of Old Ned or he is worried that Old Ned was fishing near to where they are now and he is concerned for his own well-being. Is it likely that a mine would be caught up river in South West London? It could be that this mine was left over from World War II which means it may be ineffective by this time as a Stonefish mine has a life of about 20 years. Unless this mine was laid in the late 60s, then Sammy is safe.

After George delivers the killer line in his story, both he and Sammy smirk. Sammy could be smiling because that sounds exactly like something Old Ned would say. However, Sammy could be smiling because he now realises that George's story was merely the means to a punchline. If that is the case, how does Old Ned feel about being used as a pawn for George's amusement? There is of course an argument that there is never an Old Ned and this is just the name George uses in stories when he's trying out a new joke. Sammy was playing along all the time. In fact these fishing trips are a constant back and forth of 'Old Ned' jokes. You really have to be there.