DINNER

George is waiting for dinner. Lynne serves the dinner wearing only an apron. She tells George to eat it otherwise it will become cold and inedible. George hopes that will happen as he takes the dinner to the window.

Yes, Lynne is serving dinner wearing just an apron. Nothing underneath at all. She could have been feeling kinky and decided to strut around nude; she could have drawn a bath and then realised it was her time to cook; she could be preparing a quick dinner for George before they go to the the theatre and didn't want to put on her best dress to cook in or some old clothes that she'd just have to take off again. She certainly didn't want to get any hot oil on her bare flesh as that would be painful, so she's sensibly put on an apron.

Lynne's cooking isn't always this bad. If it was then George would not be so happy to have seen Lynne bringing him his dinner. He is glad that dinner is served, although this may just be due to the amount of time he has waited for it, because he expects it to be tasty. Alternatively Lynne never cooks and has decided to have a stab at it tonight. George is hopeful but it has taken far longer than he expected it would. It seems light outside so it can't be too late. Maybe he is one of these people who calls lunch dinner.

I wonder what Lynne has cooked that a) is so disgusting George will not even taste it and b) becomes in edible when it is cold. Granted, most hot food loses its appeal when it drops in temperature but does any actually become inedible? Perhaps it is something similar to liver and onions where the well cooked meat becomes even tougher when it get colder. Lynne knows that she's cooked it a little too much but knows that if George eats it quickly then it will still be edible. That's a risky meal to try for a first attempt. She should have chosen a classic meal to cut her teeth on, maybe adding a twist of her own, and then attempting something a bit more adventurous if this dish was received well.

George hates it and looks as though he will throw it out of the window, or at least put it on the windowsill where it will cool down quicker. He cleverly thinks his last thought rather than saying it out loud as he knows this has got both him and Lynne in trouble in the past. As much as he dislikes Lynne's cooking, he doesn't want to hurt her feelings.

BURYING THINGS

Lynne looks out the window and proclaims that a squirrel is burying things in their lawn. Due to this, she orders George to do some gardening at the expense of going to the pub. George complies and then holds a can of drink near a hole whilst saying that if you can't beat them......

Lynne is clearly annoyed here. It makes you wonder if this has happened before, and if it has, if it's the same squirrel. She seems to know exactly what to do in this situation, send George into the garden. What is George expected to do? Surely the squirrel is just burying nuts or acorns. How much damage is this squirrel doing? Not much; perhaps just a small hole in Lynne's perfectly crafted garden; a mild irritance at most. That may be the case if it was a normal squirrel, but look at the size of this squirrel. It's enormous! It's at least the size of a rabbit. No wonder Lynne is annoyed, and no wonder she's seen this squirrel before. You won't forget a squirrel that size.

The ambiguity of George's actions are extremely intriguing. Is he burying that can, which must be alcoholic, or is he digging it up? If it is the former then there doesn't seem much point. He can't go to the pub so what is the use in burying a can of lager? So he must be digging up a can of lager. A can that he has buried. Perhaps he buried it the last time this mutant of a squirrel struck. So instead of having to re-turf one hole, he now has to do two. I suppose it is a small price to pay to get a drink. However, what he says implies that he is burying the can. The phrase he has started say is 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.' This means that instead of trying to thwart the massive squirrel, he must do exactly what the squirrel is doing, that being burying the can. So either George is pointlessly burying a can of lager, or he has completely misunderstood the meaning of a very popular phrase. Either way, it's a sad state of affairs.

DETECTION

George and Lynne are out for a hike. They come across a man who is using a metal detector. Interested, George asks if he's detected anything of any importance. The man replies that he hasn't but his wife has. Intrigued, Lynne asks what she detected. The man replies that she detected his affair with the woman next door.

Back in the 70s and 80s, you might actually see someone wantonly waving a metal detector around in the vague hope of finding a roman coin or sword. These days this sight is not common at all, mainly because all the roman coins have now been found. George knows the plight of a metal detector all too well when he asks his question. To ask if anything at all had been detected, he may get the solemn story of only finding a rusted tent peg. He wants to know about the juicy stuff - a bullet casing, a WWII helmet, a discarded Grammy Award.

Notice that George uses the word 'detect'. If he had used the word 'found', would it have given the man licence to tell the story of his affair? In fact it may have given him licence to tell more of the story. Imagine if you will:

"Found much of any importance yet?"

"No but my wife has."

"What did she find?"

"A pair of knickers belonging to the next door neighbour in the glove compartment of my car. I've been having an affair with her you see."

I'm sure the irony of the man finding a horseshoe is not lost on him. You see a horseshoe is lucky and he certainly hasn't been lucky. Well, he was bound to get found out sooner or later, it was his next door neighbour for heaven's sake. Is the last scene the the thoughts of the man or the collective thoughts of George and Lynne trying to imagine the situation? If it is the thoughts of the man then he has done very well because the woman in the foreground, who must be the next door neighbour, is very attractive and certainly younger than him. If it is the thoughts of George and Lynne then they have very high opinions of the man to imagine that he would be having an affair with such an attractive woman. Then again, any man with a metal detector is bound to have women swarming round him.

BURGERS

George and Lynne are at a sporting event. Lynne asks Bill, who sits next to them, if Becky is not with him. Bill replies that Becky has left him for Bob. George asks if it is the same Bob who sells the half time burgers. Lynne chips in that Becky must have no taste, as Bob's burgers are horrible.

We know that George and Lynne are at a sporting event due to the crowd members wearing scarves and the well positioned banner at the back of the stand that reads 'SPORT'. What sort of sport it is remains a mystery. It could be football, but it could be rugby. Probability says that it is a football match. George and Lynne must come here a lot to know the people they are sitting next to. This means they are either season ticket holders or it is a low level football match. If we examine this episode more closely, we can be sure it is not a large football match as there seems to be only one person who sells burgers, whereas at a Premier league game there will be numerous burger stands. It could be Tooting and Mitcham FC. They play in black and white but their away kit is red, which corresponds with the scarf the man on the right is wearing.

Does Bob only sell burgers at half time? If they are not available before the game, then this scene must be taking place near the beginning of the second half or in the half time interval. This means that Lynne has been waiting for the right time to address the elephant in the room that is Becky's absence. Unless the fans have changed ends at half time (which is the norm in non-league football) and it is just then that they have bumped into Bill in their usual spot.

George makes a massive assumption that the Bob that Becky has left Bill for is the same Bob who sells the half time burgers. Surely there are a number of Bobs in the area? Maybe George knows something we don't. Maybe Becky has been helping out at the burger stand for a number of weeks now, trying to hide her obvious affection for Bob. This love affair has had a detrimental effect on the quality of Bob's burgers, so much so that only George and Lynne are continuing to buy them. Bill is shocked that George knows that it is Bob from the burger van. Now everyone in close proximity will know that Bill's Becky is with Bob who sells burgers. How embarrassing for Bill. He so embarrassed that by the last panel he has completely moved and is replaced by a man in a blue coat.

In hindsight, Lynne could've continued the alliteration that has been going on, but it's difficult to think that quickly when you're choking on undercooked gristle. I'm sure that as soon as she got home she turned to George and said, "Bugger, I should have said to Bill that Bob's burgers are beastly."

NOT A ROBBERY

Lynne and 'Mantha are out for a bike ride. Just as they pass a policeman, Lynne describes a scene in which she has forced her way in somewhere, grabbed what she could and got out as soon as possible. The policeman stops them. Lynne, however, tells the policeman that she wasn't describing a robbery, but the Brown's buffet lunch, which was chaos. We then see that it was indeed chaos.

Lynne and 'Mantha do like to keep fit. This time they are on a tandem. Last time we saw the tandem, we made an assumption that George and Lynne were on holiday. It now may be that Lynne does in fact own a tandem. This is evidence that life was a lot more wholesome in the late 70s. How many tandems do you see now? Not many.

The level of policing in this town really is poor. This policeman is walking around hoping that he'll hear something and he can report back to the station. Is this what he does all day? "Any arrests today Constable?" "Nope, I didn't hear any crimes so there obviously weren't any." Does no one have a phone around there so the policeman have to hope to eavesdrop any crimes? He's actually very lucky. He's one step away from arresting Lynne for a crime that not only did she not commit, but didn't even exist. That's wrongful arrest and is treated very seriously. And did he expect Lynne to just admit to it? He lets her go because she said was describing a buffet. He doesn't try very hard. "Did you murder this man?" "No officer, he fell on my knife." "Righto, off you go then."

When Lynne is describing the Brown's buffet lunch, initially I assumed that the Brown's were a couple, much like the Barkers (who hold excellent summer parties). But this can't be the case, because who would have, when serving a lunch, the word 'lunch' plastered on their dining room wall. No, The Brown is a very popular restaurant in town which has a very well recommended buffet lunch which is very reasonably priced. In fact the food is so good that some of the clientele are physically shaking at the flavours and have to eat the food as soon as they can, standing up if need be. I can only imagine that the queue stretches round the block.

CHORUS

George and Lynne are at the theatre. Lynne asks one of the chorus line to confirm that the director has asked every girl in the chorus for a date. The girl at the head of the line replies that he has, but all the girls told him to get lost. Lynne ends the conversation with a pun on the word chorus saying it was a chorus of disapproval.

George and Lynne seem to be backstage at whatever production they are at. The curtains are right there so it also seems that they are literally backstage, rather than in the dressing rooms. This would imply that they know this woman they are talking to. You never can tell if Lynne doesn't refer to her by name, but in this case we will assume she is a friend. So George and Lynne have gone to the theatre to support their friend and wish her the best of luck. Lynne has dressed up for the occasion but George has decided that an open shirt and a scruffy jacket will suffice. On closer inspection, unless the lighting is casting a colourful shadow, George appears to be wearing his vintage Blackburn Rovers top. This is not appropriate attire for the theatre.

Lynne's friend is not happy. She has been the victim of sexual harassment and is anxious about the security of her job. Perhaps this snippet of George and Lynne's life happened before the incident at the law courts and this is the same woman. They look the same. So we now know what the case was about. However, this woman leads a very contradictory life if she sues for sexual harassment but then, in the same case, offers her phone number to the judge. But she did it and who are we to pass judgement.

Lynne's friend is not happy and Lynne inappropriately makes a joke about it. Not only does she make the joke, which they have undoubtedly heard before because they are in a chorus line, but she gets really close to the lady. Right in her face. That would have upset the lady even more. I suspect this is why George and Lynne are picking her up from the law courts. "Not the right time to make that joke Lynne, this is serious. Just for that you can pick me up from the court tomorrow to make up for it. I'm giving evidence against the director." Now if you look back to what George said, it now seems that he's being extremely sarcastic towards the woman. It all makes sense now.

JUDGE

George and Lynne are picking up an unnamed friend from the Law Courts. Lynne asks her how it went, to which the friend replies that the judge commended her for what she said in court. George asks whether it was for bravely giving vital evidence in such an important case. The friend says it wasn't for that, but giving him her telephone number.

Are George and Lynne actually going to pick up this friend or are they just passing the law courts whilst out for a drive. I suspect the former, but if that was the case wouldn't they park up and wait inside whilst the friend gives her evidence? 'I'm going to court today, can you come with me?' 'No, but we'll pick you up.' Maybe this is feasible, but you would think that the friend would be able to find a friend who would actually accompany her rather than swinging by on the way back from the new boutique.

The friend has left the court and Lynne has asked how it went, which implies that the case was very much affecting the friend, rater than being an eye witness to a hit and run. George uses the words bravely, vital and important, which suggest this is big. Bravely giving evidence means that by doing this she is either recounting something that was personally harrowing for her or, even worse, is putting herself in danger for giving the evidence, maybe due to the fact she was an eye-witness in a murder case, or maybe just saying something which goes against the defendant's alibi. Vital evidence suggests that without this evidence a conviction could not take place. The police have relied on this evidence as the basis of their case. Important suggests that the police could finally convict a local gangster, perhaps of even more magnitude than Dodgy Dave.

So the unnamed friend has just given evidence in a murder case in which a very powerful and dangerous gangster could be locked up putting her very life in danger.... and she gives the judge her phone number! Not only is she so relaxed in what should be a time of great anxiety, but the judge has accepted it! How corrupt is this town? It is the judge who should be investigated. Isn't it normal practice to find the woman in contempt of court? That said, she is wearing a low cut top which is enough to make any mild mannered judge hot under the collar.