RUNNING CLUB

George and Lynne are standing near a large house. George tells Lynne that Andy from the running club is going out with a woman half his age. He then notices this woman and points her out to Lynne. Lynne sees a man struggling and comments that the woman is half his age and has twice his stamina.

George and Lynne are out for a walk when they come across this large house. It would be safe to assume that this house belongs to Andy from the running club but we do not have all the facts. A logical explanation could be that George and Lynne have been invited to this house for a drinks party, as have Andy and his new girlfriend. Alternatively, Andy and his girlfriend are currently house hunting and have their eye on this large house, whereas George and Lynne are merely gazing in wonder at the large houses in the area.

The fact that Andy is going out with a woman half his age suggests that he has wooed her through his wallet rather than his looks. He looks early 50s which would mean that she is in her mid to late 20s. If she is attracted to his money, and that is very cynical for us to say but quite plausible considering the other pairings that we have seen in the Wimbledon area - it's basically full of floozies and sugar daddies - then it seems that this is his house.

Lynne comments that Andy's girlfriend has twice his stamina. She says this because she looks relatively calm whereas he is lagging behind and struggling to keep up. If we look again we can see that Lynne has her maths all wrong. If he were to have half her stamina he would either be right next to her and out of breath having had to run to keep up with her or lagging behind and out of breath because his walking speed was not as fast as hers. It appears that he is not only lagging behind and out of breath but also running to keep up. This would make him have a quarter of her stamina. What must he be like in the running club when grown men are running?He definitely won't be able to keep up there. It's a wonder George knows who he is. Then again, many people in the running club must ask "Who's that fat man lagging behind?" to which the answer will always be "That's Andy."

EXHIBITS

George and Lynne are at an art gallery. Lynne comments that the gallery itself isn't even finished. George corrects her and tells her that the bricks are actually exhibits. The artist himself arrives, tells them that he is the artist and that he'll have his own gallery one day. Lynne says that she sees he has started building it already.

The art gallery that George and Lynne have gone to is actually called Art Gallery. Many people would think this is a very predictable name for an art gallery but in fact it is possibly the artiest name for an art gallery there could be. Art Gallery has only been around for a short time, which explains why George and Lynne have not been there before. This could however just be the civic hall with a quickly erected gallery for the students of Wimbledon college. Just round the corner are the crafts, and on the ground floor is the cake sale.

The artist has appeared. Although he tells George and Lynne he is the artist, we also know he is an artist because he has fancy beard and wears beads. Finally if there was any confusion that he wasn't an artist of any kind he is wearing a t-shirt that simply says ART. Many people would think that this is a very predictable thing to have on a t-shirt but in fact it is possibly the artiest thing to have on a t-shirt. The gallery is quite empty so the artist is just happy to see someone looking at his work. He has been sitting there waiting for the past 45 minutes as the cake sale has proved far more popular than his paintings.

Lynne seems very bitter here. Instead of admiring the work, she decides to berate the artist just because she doesn't understand the work. If only the artist had explained that his pile of bricks represents the struggle that the working class have in this harsh environment of Thatcher's Britain. It is a powerful piece of work but unfortunately his work is way before its time. He will never get his own gallery and will die in poverty. In the early 21st century his work will be displayed in the Tate Modern to great applause. Lynne will not be there.

MIDNIGHT GHOST HUNT

Lynne and 'Mantha are out jogging. Lynne tells 'Mantha that she and George went on a midnight ghost hunt. 'Mantha asks where it was and Lynne tells her it was in the old haunted bed spring factory. She adds that they say it's full of things that go boing in the night.

'Mantha feels uncomfortable on this run because her only running outfit is a pale lilac and she has no earrings in that colour. She has a purple pair but she thought they were a little dark so she has opted for a white pair. She's hoping that if she moves fast, the general public won't recognise her obvious fashion faux pas.

George and Lynne went for a midnight ghost hunt at the old haunted bed spring factory. Although 'Mantha has asked where it was, she must have assumed it was going to be in the old haunted bed spring factory. Does this mean there is more than one commonly known haunted place in the Wimbledon area? The haunted dog track? The old haunted bus stop? Castle Aaaarrgghhh? If there are that many haunted places perhaps 'Mantha has been on one herself and wishes to swap notes with Lynne. Just who was most scared? Lynne uses the phrase 'they say' which suggests that her and George didn't encounter any ghosts. Perhaps Castle Aaaarrgghhh would have been a better option.

There is something far more scary than ghosts here though. Lynne and 'Mantha are so engrossed in their conversation that they have completely lost track of their jogging route. They have ended up jogging down the middle lane of a motorway! The only thing that can save their lives is that if they are running in the same direction as the traffic. If that is the case then all that has happened is that they have caused a tailback. Can they not even hear the honking of horns? If they are running into the traffic, there is likely to be rather a nasty accident. Let's just hope they realise where they are before it's too late.

MEMBERSHIP FEES

George and Sammy are outside the gym. George comments to Sammy that he has seen that their gym membership fees are going up again. Sammy says they should refuse to pay. Once inside they see lots of women. They start working out saying that the gym is worth every penny.

Not only do George and Sammy go to the same gym but they like to coincide their visits to turn them into a social occasion. They prefer to go to the gym in their tracksuits rather than their casual clothes. If they have a strenuous workout, then after their shower they will have to change back into their sweaty gym attire. It could be that today will only be a light workout. However, both George and Sammy are carrying bags, which suggests that they have other clothes and towels in there. This means that they are planning to shower after and then maybe go for a pint to discuss their workout.

Sammy thinks that they should refuse to pay for their gym membership. These days, a refusal of payment would result in an expulsion from the club. Membership cards would be taken away and they wouldn't even be able to get through the doors let alone into the weights room. However, here electronic membership cards have yet to be introduced and George and Sammy would just march through to the changing room, not paying the £2 that is needed. Alternatively, Sammy is suggesting they find a different gym, but that might be further away and require a car ride to get there.

The gym they go to may well be the world's first Fitness First. The company turned the business into a worldwide commodity by putting up their rates every other month thus increasing their revenue. They kept their members by charging attractive women a lesser rate whereas the male members had to pay the increase in rates. The male members were always more than willing to pay the higher fees. It is not known whether they still do this today.

RAMBLING CLUB

Lynne is on a walk with the rambling club. Another club member tells Lynne that his girlfriend has quit the rambling club. Lynne asks why and the man says it was something she couldn't stand. Lynne offers the reasons of sore feet, blisters and the fact that it is cold and wet. The man says the reason was actually him. Lynne tells him that he does tend to ramble on a bit.

Of what we can see, the rambling club is six people strong on this hike. We have two other couples, Lynne and the man. We do not know if George is also a member of the club or if one of these people is the chairman or organiser. If it is just those six then it appears that Lynne is the leader of the rambling club. She is at the front and she has been told of a member leaving. This is Lynne's hobby whilst George goes fishing.

Lynne is concerned as to why the man's girlfriend has left the club. As chairman she wants to make sure all of her members are happy with the club. She also has to think about the finances of the club. There is no fee to join the club because walking on the paths is free but Lynne likes to collect a kitty so everyone can enjoy a half of lager or bitter at the pub after the walk, or on sunny days Lynne brings along a bottle of sparkling wine for their picnic. Perhaps the man's girlfriend has already paid upfront so Lynne does not have to worry about the money. All the more bubbly for the other members.

Lynne is losing members hand over fist and then she insults the man. You'd think she would want to make sure her remaining members are happy after losing one, but no, she's more than happy to insult them. After this she tells one of the men that his hat looks rubbish and a woman that that her hair looks like a thatched roof. Next week the rambling club will be down to just three members, and the week after that it is just Lynne going for a walk.

SIMPLE THINGS

Lynne and 'Mantha are out and about. 'Mantha tells Lynne that as you get older you appreciate the simple things in life. They both look at one man and then him and another man have an accident. Lynne says that the simple things she appreciates are men.

Lynne and 'Mantha are out and about but strangely for them they have not bought anything yet. It could be that this is only the beginning of their outing. However 'Mantha has already taken her overcoat off and has rolled up her left sleeve which suggest they have been out for a while and have worked up some heat. Unless of course 'Mantha has seriously misjudged the weather.

Lynne assumes that the two men are simple because they cannot even look where they are going when two attractive women are around. This is not the case though. The two men are, completely independently of one another, whistling. As we can see from the notes, they are whistling different tunes. However, at that moment both those tunes are exactly in harmony with each other. By pure coincidence these two men have created a perfect whistling mash up of Duran Duran's Is There Something I Should Know and David Bowie's Let's Dance. Unfortunately it only last for 5 seconds as they both fall over.

STRIPPER

George is covered in paint. He tells someone on the phone that Lynne is helping him out with the DIY. He then goes on to tell whoever it is that they have run short of a stripper. George sees that Lynne has taken her overalls off and tells the person on the phone that Lynne has the matter covered. Lynne corrects him by saying uncovered.

George has decided to paint the house. By the look of the paint on his dungarees and that in the can, he is painting that room green and red. He has not got to the wall by the window yet as that still has wallpaper on it. Just as George has picked up the paint can to go to another wall, the phone has rung. Luckily George has one of those new fangled cordless phones so he can take the call at the same time as walking to the next wall.

George tells the person on the phone, who is presumably Sammy because whereas Lynne has a number of acquaintances George has only Sammy to call a friend, that they have run short of a stripper. He must mean a wallpaper stripper but this begs the question of what they have been doing up until now. Has George been painting over wallpaper initially but now realises that the wallpaper was coming off so it is a better idea to strip the walls of wallpaper first before? Does this mean that he will now put up lining paper before painting or will he plaster? He'll have to do one of the two if he wants it to look good, so why is he carrying the pot?

George is probably trying to drop a hint to Sammy that although Lynne is helping with what may have previously been Sammy's job, as a favour to a friend, he now actually needs him to bring round his wallpaper stripper so that the job can be done quicker. George and Lynne do have one but it would be so much handier to have two. George, realising he can't do any work in this room until the wallpaper is off, has decided to go to the hall to paint that as Lynne has just finished it. Lynne can get on with the living room while George paints the hall. She has got hot whilst wallpaper stripping so has decided to disrobe.