MUSICIAN

George and Lynne are at a dance. Lynne tells George that her friend Paula once dated a musician. George is intrigued and asks her what this musician played. Lynne replies that he played away, in the sense that he was caught in bed with a backing singer. George looks unimpressed.

George and Lynne are most likely at a wedding. Either that or some black tie do for charity, but let's say wedding. The dress is black tie and George has a white tuxedo because he likes to think he is James Bond. Whoever's wedding this is has gone to the effort for an impressive disco area backdrop of coloured dots.

Lynne starts this conversation because the wedding has a live band who have either just come on or just finished. They are far more acceptable than the last band George and Lynne saw. Who Paula is, we don't know. What we do know is that she dated a musician. This has certainly got George interested. He has never met a musician before and it is something he's quite keen to do. He almost met a saxophonist, but that didn't work out. Music is a new interest of George's and he certainly wants to know more about it. However Lynne never reveals the instrument of choice of Paula's ex-boyfriend.

George looks unimpressed for one of two reasons. The first is that he was really interested in the musician part of the conversation and now that Lynne has decided not to reveal the instrument, he has to go back to another conversation because once Lynne says a conversation is over, it's over. The second reason could be because the backing singer that the musician was caught in bed with was actually male and we all know how much single sex relationships were frowned upon in the late 70s/early 80s. This piece of knowledge has also dampened George's new found interest in music as all it did was confirm his suspicion that all musicians are gay.

GOOD BOOK

George and Lynne are having coffee with an elderly lady called Dora. She tells them both that she is too old for romance and actually prefers a good book. Lynne agrees that she feels the same way sometimes. George is surprised and needs this last comment confirmed. Lynne proclaims that she meant a good cheque book thus implying that she likes to spend money. George is even more surprised, yells Yikes and spills his coffee.

Initially we don't know who this older woman is, but later we learn that it is Lynne's Aunt Dora. On which side of Lynne's parents she is related to, we don't know, but Lynne has put on a nice dress so it would appear that they don't see her that often. One thing we do know however is that Aunt Dora owns the smallest coffee cups in the world. It is assumed that they are enjoying an espresso. Perhaps Aunt Dora recently bought a coffee machine, or received it as a gift and decided that it makes such good espressos that she just had to invite her niece Lynne and her charming husband George over for coffee. But these cups are tiny. The one Lynne is holding is no bigger than a thimble and Aunt Dora's doesn't seem to even have a handle, which makes me think it is a thimble.

Lynne implies she likes to spend money, and more specifically other people's money. Due to her living in the late 70s/early 80s she still has to use a cheque book, as there are only two types of credit cards in existence, those being Diner's Club and Access (Your Flexible Friend) and it's very hard to get hold of them, and not many shops actually accepting them.

George is surprised twice in this conversation. The first comes when he needs confirmation that Lynne prefers a good book to romance. He has only ever seen Lynne read once in their entire marriage and that was some trashy romance novel with print so large a mole could read it. He basically thinks she's stupid, but maybe that's why he loves her. The second time George is surprised he must think that Lynne has been spending his money without him knowing it. George is deep in debt and has not told Lynne yet. Those weekends away cost money you know, and George is having trouble meeting payments. He is so surprised he spills his coffee. What with the cups being so small he has probably spilt his entire cup on that favourite blue sweater (something a little smarter for Aunt Dora please, George). That's the only coffee he'll be getting and when that coffee gets on the sofa Aunt Dora is not going to be happy. In that mood she won't be firing up that new espresso machine for him.

Not so charming now George.

DOCTOR'S ADVICE

Lynne is at dinner with a friend who is older than her. Lynne's friend comments that her doctor has advised her to lose weight or at least think about it. The friend then thinks about it, until the waiter arrives with some cakes and she stops thinking about it.

This friend of Lynne's is called Alice. We know this because the last time Lynne was in this restaurant she was with a woman who looks remarkably like this woman and was wearing exactly the same dress. Also, the last time they were there they were with a woman called Angelina who left mid way through the dinner with a man without paying, which is probably why she hasn't been invited back today.

Next time this dinner is planned it may be Alice on her own as Lynne must be getting sick and tired of Alice going on about dieting. That seems to be all she ever talks about. We now know the reason no diet seems to work, because she keeps stuffing her face full of cakes. If she has a stroke, she'll only have herself to blame. That waiter hasn't just come round with some cakes asking if she'd like some as I can't see a dessert trolley. Alice has knowingly ordered a platter of cakes from the menu. What restaurant has a platter of cakes as a dessert? What else is on this coronary of a menu? A whole gateau? A roast ox? Alice's willpower when it comes to dieting isn't very strong but this is not the right restaurant for her. Lynne, book something a little more suitable next time.

2030

Lynne is having a massage and the small talk turns to the problem the masseuse is having with her fiance Tim. The masseuse thinks that Tim isn't serious about marrying her as he's booked the wedding for 2030. Lynne assumes she means 8.30 in the evening and proclaims that it is late for a wedding. The masseuse corrects Lynne by telling her that it is booked for 2030 the year. She then has a little cry.

Again, how well does Lynne know this masseuse. We can only assume that their relationship is more than just professional, or maybe it has started as a professional relationship but it has blossomed into more, much like you may have with a hairdresser or fitness instructor. Lynne has a kind face and is a good listener so the masseuse decides that they are friends enough to tell Lynne a big problem with her personal life.

Does anyone actually use the 24 hour clock when talking about time unless they are in the military or planning a heist? For Lynne to assume that it is 8.30 in the evening is a little silly, unless of course this masseuse has a military past. Perhaps she used to be a physical therapist in the army. Perhaps she once spent time in jail for armed robbery, where she decided to learn physiotherapy.

Before you lambast Lynne for presuming something preposterous, think about this. Lynne lives in the early 80s, so for the masseuse to be referring to a year means that the wedding will be about 50 years in the future, which is just silly. To people in the 1980s, the year 2030 is in science fiction territory. To them, weddings will take place on the moon conducted by hologram vicars in silver jumpsuits. People won't exchange rings and vows but laser guns and data chips. So there is no way Lynne would assume that it is the year 2030 being talked about.

How do you say the year 2030 anyway? Or how would you have said it in 1983? As Twenty-thirty or Two thousand and Thirty? It's an age old question. But let's not dwell on this. Let's think how busy the local church must be if Tim can't get a free Saturday there for another 47 years. You'd think he would look at other venues rather than just booking the next available date.

GOOD GARDEN

George is lounging in the garden with a cool drink whilst Lynne sees to the garden wearing hot pants and a low cut top. George comments that a good looking garden needs lots of water. Lynne replies that it mostly comes from the perspiration of the owner, meaning it's hard work and she's sweating.

It is a warm day and George has colour coded his clothes well but he probably didn't need to wear his socks. Granted, it is his garden and therefore he has the right to wear whatever he wants, even if it is socks and presumably sandals, but because it is his garden he could have gone bare foot to enjoy this relaxing drink of what looks like Appletize. Of course he could be just back from somewhere or just on his way out, or even taking a well earned break from fixing the guttering, but he looks relaxed and not like he's done any manual labour this morning, so the socks could be off.

Lynne on the other hand is dressed for the weather; all in pink. She is watering her quite frankly over grown garden and she's feeling the heat. She's sweating. But I am sorry Lynne, if you honestly believe that your plants and flowers can get as much nutrients from your sweat as they can from water then you are sorely mistaken. How is she possibly going to give them that much watering from her own sweat? Look how many flowers there are to water. She'd need to run round collecting her own sweat in a watering can and then pouring it out on to the flowers. It's just not feasible.

Imagine George's reaction when he sees what could have been prize winning Begonias withered and dying because the only water they got during this heat wave was that which came from Lynne's armpits. He'd have to add a gin to the Appletize and fast.

INHERITANCE

Lynne and an unnamed friend are out. Lynne asks whether she has her mother's figure. The friend replies in the affirmative but then adds that she has inherited better from her father. Lynne asks if it his shrewd business brain that she has inherited. The lady, who is wearing a lot of jewellery, says that it is his large wealth that she has inherited whilst sitting in a sports car.

Lynne, for some reason, asks this woman if she has her mother's figure rather than simply commenting on the figure that the woman has. Who else would she have inherited her figure from? Well, knowing what we know at the end she could've quite easily said 'No, my mother's morbidly obese so I paid for liposuction and plastic surgery with all the money I inherited from my father's death.' But she didn't. Her mother was obviously known for her figure. Perhaps she was a model. Would Lynne have known that? She could have been a minor model and therefore still attractive but not well known. She is one of those periphery friends of Lynne's I think.

As Lynne asks about her father's shrewd business brain, the woman comes closer and Lynne gets to see just how much jewellery this lady is wearing. It's positively sparkling in the morning sun. Lynne is playing with her at this point. She knows full well that this woman has a lot of money but she sees that the woman is flaunting it, and not in a nice way. So Lynne keeps guessing, to make fun out of her. She also knows that her father was a very successful business man, and known about town for having married a moderately successful but very attractive model. Much like the local Bernie and Flavia Ecclestone, but a lot less successful.

As the woman climbs into her red sports car (judging by the doors it must be a Lamborghini) she yells out about her father's bank account over the roar of the engine. Lynne smiles to herself as she knows that this woman is a laughing stock about town. She inherited a lot of money and instead of intelligently investing it, she spends it all on jewellery and Lamborghinis. And not a tear of grief at the death of her father.

LOST KEYS

George and Lynne are about to go out. Lynne thinks to herself that she is ready to leave but she is waiting for George to find the car keys. In ire, she shouts out for George to hurry up and that the new boutique will be closed if they wait any longer. George shouts that that was the general idea whilst sitting on the sofa tossing the keys from one hand to another.

It is the weekend and Lynne is desperate to get to that new boutique. George is coming with her because that is what married couples do; they go to the shops together, especially in the 70s. And there is no way in hell George is going to let Lynne drive his red car (which must be new considering they were driving a blue car before). George is even more precious about his car since he had to change that wheel.

From seeing the entire story, we can learn that George is a fantastic actor. Just look at his body language when Lynne looks at him, yet he has been faking all along because he always knew where the car keys were, he just didn't want to go to the boutique.

However, George cannot contain himself once more and has to shout something which lets slip his entire plan. By shouting 'That was the general idea!', Lynne can presume he was faking the lost keys situation just to get out of the trip into town. He should have just thought it, that way still pretending to look for the keys. We can also see that George is a method actor. Instead of just standing around inside he had to feel busy to really get into the role of a man trying to find his car keys. How did he do this? He took off his blue jumper. An error in hindsight, as after Lynne finds him with the keys and they have to go to the new boutique, George will now be jumperless and a lot chillier than he had first hoped.