VERY NOISY

Lynne and 'Mantha are in a sauna. Lynne tells 'Mantha that she and George went to see a movie. 'Mantha asks her how it was, to which Lynne replies that it was very noisy. 'Mantha asks if it was the film that was noisy but Lynne tells her it was her and George in the back row that were noisy.

The way Lynne tells 'Mantha that she went to see a movie suggests that she, or 'Mantha, had never been before. Normally people would say that they went to the cinema. Also, normally people would ask which film they have been to see. It's almost as if Lynne and 'Mantha had been previously discussing these 'movies' everybody has been talking about but were apprehensive about trying it out themselves. Lynne said she would go but 'Mantha would wait for feedback before going herself.

So 'Mantha is interested in how the experience of going to the movies was and all Lynne tells her is the volume of it all. That must be a little disappointing for her. 'Mantha had been looking forward to hearing all about it since they spoke and she must feel cheated. She asks if the film was noisy but she has a thousand other questions ask. How much was it? How long did it last? Who was there? Just look at the way she stands up to show just how excited she is that Lynne actually went.

Lynne may be implying that she and George were being amorous in the back row, but it may be to hide what was actually going on and what actually happened. George and Lynne were in awe of the whole experience and spent the whole time clapping and hollering at every little detail of the 'movie'. They cheered at the popcorn stand, they oohed at the man collecting the tickets, they applauded and danced to the Pearl and Dean music and finally they shouted at the manager who asked them to quiet down and leave. In the end they never saw the movie and it is likely they won't be allowed back. 'Mantha, you'll just have to go and try it for yourself.

BLACK COFFEE

George and Lynne have both just got up and George reminds Lynne of the party last night. He then opens the post to see a letter from the bank. Lynne offers him black coffee to help with his hangover, but George exclaims it can't clear their overdraft.

It is morning, but if the party was as good as George says it was it may well be afternoon. If that is the case then this Saturday is already half over. It must be a Saturday as George and Lynne are still in their pyjamas and the post has arrived. It may be a letter left over from yesterday but we have seen before that George likes to get the post as soon as it comes through the door.

George says 'Oh' before he tells Lynne the letter is from the bank. This implies that he thought it was going to be from someone else. Did he finally think his numbers had come up on the premium bonds? Was he expecting a tax rebate? Whatever he expected it was going to be better than a letter from the bank about his overdraft.

Just what financial difficulties are George and Lynne in? This isn't the first time that we have seen that George is having money troubles. On many occasions he has tried to only spend money in the sales and generally curb Lynne's spending. Something tells us that this isn't the first letter from the bank. George may be the sort of person who will purposefully ignore demands for money instead of taking responsibility for his actions. After playfully reminiscing the party, this has turned into quite a serious and depressing episode for George.

BLONDES

George and Lynne are playing tennis. Lynne tells George that her tennis instructor loves blondes. George comments that he is fine with that as long as he doesn't love his blonde, in other words Lynne. Lynne tells him not to worry as she only has eyes for him. George thinks to himself that he only has eyes for Lynne's legs.

We've arrived at an exciting point of this rally between George and Lynne. We don't know who is serving but Lynne has decided to come to the net to finish off the point. However it seems her punch volley is not as effective as she would hope as George has returned it and has also come to the net. Lynne, with seemingly lightning reactions, has got to George's volley and, with a swift backhand, returned it once more. Next we see George and Lynne walking off on the same side of the net, implying that the game and the match is over. Lynne therefore must have won, in what was quite a thrilling finish.

With another win under her belt, Lynne must be thankful that she decided to take up with a tennis coach. The tennis coach loves blondes so he must be giving Lynne extra special attention which is certainly improving her game, and especially her net play. Lynne used to think of herself as a baseline player but recently she is much more of a serve and volleyer, which suits the grass courts she regularly plays on. Living so close to Wimbledon has its perks. But what of the brunettes that go to the tennis coach? His love of blondes explains the success of Chris Evert during the 80s and also shows us exactly why Gabriela Sabatini and Hana Mandlikova never won a Wimbledon title.

George's last thought is a little sinister. It's almost as if he's a serial killer and he wants to own Lynne's legs, akin to Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs. If George had been paying more attention to the tennis match and not his wife's legs then maybe he wouldn't have been so well and truly trounced by Lynne. That said, Lynne does have nice legs and they have been coveted by pet shop owners across south London.

PUNCTURE

George and Lynne are out cycling. George tells Lynne that cycling is good for you. Lynne gets a puncture and bends down to fix it, causing two other cyclists to cycle into the pond. George comments that swimming is also good for you, which is lucky for the men now in the pond.

George and Lynne are on a popular cycling path. Not only are they enjoying a bike ride but four other men are too. Two of the men, as we know, end up in the pond which is next to the path. Although they are likely to blame Lynne's revealing outfit, they only have themselves to blame for cycling too close to the water. The man in the red certainly is and then the man in the blue has decided to perform a wheelie right at the point when Lynne bends over. For such a busy cycle path, it was the wrong place to start doing tricks.

From George's initial comment about cycling's benefits we can deduce that Lynne has not been cycling for a while. She must have been cycling once before otherwise she would be falling off and into the water herself but she can't be very experienced when it comes to bicycle maintenance because what she thinks is a puncture looks more like a completely buckled front wheel. Surely she should know the difference between a puncture and a broken wheel? Perhaps she has heard the term puncture and just thinks it means something to do with the wheel not working. This is where George should step in although it seems he has turned into Jason Patric.

By the end of this little episode, there are no less than 4 men in the pond. The first two we know about but the man in black has now joined them. He has appeared from a long way off as he was not behind George and Lynne when they initially stop. He may have been shocked by Lynne's bum but he also may have thought that a celebrity was on his cycle route. The fourth man to cycle into the water is one of the men in white who were on the path. The last man is the most frightened of the lot as his face has turned as white as a sheet. Although George is right that swimming is good for you, this man will not agree as he does not know how to swim hence his shock. He should have thought of a different place to exercise if he was so afraid of water.

VICES

Lynne is sitting on a sofa with an unnamed friend. The friend tells Lynne that her doctor has told her to give up most of her vices. Lynne asks what they are to which the friend replies that they are alcohol, coffee, chocolate and the like. Lynne shows some sympathy before asking her what the vice is that she can't give up. The friend tells Lynne it is her doctor and she leaves with him.

At first glance it looks as though Lynne and her friend are at someone's house. However by the end we realise that they are at the doctor's, but waiting for different reasons. The friend, who may now not be a friend but merely a woman in the waiting room, is waiting for her doctor boyfriend but Lynne is probably just waiting for her appointment. Her ailment may be the same as the one we were wondering about before.

The woman, we will no longer refer to her as a friend, mentions her vices are alcohol, coffee, chocolate and the like. 'The like' could refer to any number of vices but of the ones that a doctor would recommend you to stop she must be referring to smoking and recreational drug use. You can understand that she would not want to tell a complete stranger how many valium she takes in a given week but smoking is not yet the taboo it has become.

One of her vices, her doctor, is something she has been officially told not to give up. If this is a normal relationship, then there is no reason to call it vice. That is of course unless the doctor is carrying a disease or insists on some dangerous bedroom games. Maybe the doctor is the one with the uncontrollable heroin habit and is very careless with where he gets his needles from, which is ironic considering how professional he is inside his surgery. His professionalism does not extend to the waiting room, where he is now not only breaching the medical code by engaging in a relationship with a patient, but also neglecting his other patient by walking out before surgery time has finished for the day. So Lynne's appointment isn't important enough? Lynne must not know that this is her doctor as she would be furious. Now she has to make another appointment for no reason other than this doctor needed his fix of intravenous drugs and a bit of howsyerfather.

HUNK

Lynne comments that Vicky has given her a calender of shirtless men. Lynne says that Vicky thought she might like it but Lynne says she'd rather have a date with this hunk, and hugs George.

Lynne is talking to George but George is not looking her way. We know this because after drawing attention to the calendar, she then has to tell George it is a calendar. He may of course be looking her way but his eyesight wasn't what it used to be. All he saw was the fuzzy outline of a topless men and his face started contorting with rage, filling up with red much like in other cartoons. Lynne saw her error and immediately threw in what she was actually holding up.

George's rage has yet to subside so Lynne had to appease him once more with a loving gesture. She walks over and tells George that she's not interested in shirtless workmen when she must be rather alarmed at the fact the man she is now hugging is not in fact George! It's almost as if this is a play and due to illness the part of George will be played by Gary Lineker. But it isn't Gary Lineker, it is in fact George but he does look rather gaunt. He has lost a lot of weight and the lines are forming on his face. Does he usually hook himself up to a dialysis machine on weekends in order to beef up his immune system? When Lynne hugs him she seems to grimace a little, realising that the next few years of looking after a dying George may be more than she bargained for.

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION

George and Lynne are at a New Year's Eve party. Lynne comments to 'Mantha that she is enjoying the party. At midnight George notices that Sammy is dancing and 'Mantha decides it is time to make new year's resolutions. Lynne notices Sammy again and says that he is making a new year's revolution.

Lynne is right, this is some New Year's Eve party. There is a swing band, chicken drumsticks and a banner. Lynne comments to 'Mantha that the party is great as if it is 'Mantha's party. If it is 'Mantha's party then well done her. She has hired a hall and a swing band and managed to get catering too. However, 'Mantha is not being a very good host as she is spending most of her time talking to George and Lynne. The more likely explanation is that this is someone else's party but 'Mantha had been the person who suggested it, so Lynne is in essence thanking 'Mantha for a good idea.

The beginning to this episode takes place near the start of the party; the two couples have just arrived and are amazed at the music and food. The middle of the episode however occurs a lot later, the amount time later being determined by the time at which they arrive at the party. For example if they arrived at the party at 9 o'clock then the middle, and end, happens 3 hours later. We know this happens later for two reasons; the first of which is the time, as mentioned by 'Mantha, and the second is that Sammy is now drunk and has changed his hat from a yellow one to a red one. The party has really heated up during this time as another guest has decided to throw a beer keg across the dancefloor.

At midnight, the dancefloor looks quite busy. Later when Lynne, or is it George, makes her comment, the dancefloor looks empty apart from the gyrating Sammy. He is enjoying himself, and Lynne finds it mildly amusing, but this may be more to do with her smirking at her own witty comment. However George and 'Mantha are not amused one little bit. This is because Sammy's new year's resolution, which he had secretly revealed to George and 'Mantha the day before, was to curb his drinking.