BLONDES

George and Lynne are playing tennis. Lynne tells George that her tennis instructor loves blondes. George comments that he is fine with that as long as he doesn't love his blonde, in other words Lynne. Lynne tells him not to worry as she only has eyes for him. George thinks to himself that he only has eyes for Lynne's legs.

We've arrived at an exciting point of this rally between George and Lynne. We don't know who is serving but Lynne has decided to come to the net to finish off the point. However it seems her punch volley is not as effective as she would hope as George has returned it and has also come to the net. Lynne, with seemingly lightning reactions, has got to George's volley and, with a swift backhand, returned it once more. Next we see George and Lynne walking off on the same side of the net, implying that the game and the match is over. Lynne therefore must have won, in what was quite a thrilling finish.

With another win under her belt, Lynne must be thankful that she decided to take up with a tennis coach. The tennis coach loves blondes so he must be giving Lynne extra special attention which is certainly improving her game, and especially her net play. Lynne used to think of herself as a baseline player but recently she is much more of a serve and volleyer, which suits the grass courts she regularly plays on. Living so close to Wimbledon has its perks. But what of the brunettes that go to the tennis coach? His love of blondes explains the success of Chris Evert during the 80s and also shows us exactly why Gabriela Sabatini and Hana Mandlikova never won a Wimbledon title.

George's last thought is a little sinister. It's almost as if he's a serial killer and he wants to own Lynne's legs, akin to Buffalo Bill in Silence of the Lambs. If George had been paying more attention to the tennis match and not his wife's legs then maybe he wouldn't have been so well and truly trounced by Lynne. That said, Lynne does have nice legs and they have been coveted by pet shop owners across south London.