DARIUS

Lynne is out with an unnamed friend. They walk past a restaurant and the friend says that she loves Greek food. Inside Lynne points out Darius. The friend is quite taken with him and asks Lynne is he's married. Lynne says that he is and her friend says that it is a Greek tragedy.

Lynne and her friend are meeting up for a regular catch up. As they walk the streets, they pass a restaurant which Lynne knows about. She suggests it to her friend who likes the idea as she loves Greek food. We can only presume that Lynne told her what sort of food it was. Either that or there were lots of broken plates on the pavement outside.

Lynne must know the owner, Darius, as she points him out to her friend. Knowing the owner will help Lynne secure a table, as it does look quite busy. In fact, Lynne was left the task of booking a table at a restaurant for their catch up. She completely forgot and has had to think on her feet to find somewhere on this, the busiest day of the year. She knows that Darius will fit her in as he has a crush on her, despite being married.

Lynne's friend is attracted to Darius. Why anyone would fancy a man with hair like that is a mystery, but this is the Eighties and anything and everything happened then.

CAB

George and Lynne are in town and need to get somewhere. George is trying to flag down a cab but it is not working and tells Lynne so. Lynne tells George she'll be back in a moment. She then tries to hail a cab herself, leaving George to remark on her cab flagging method.

George and Lynne are on Oxford Street. The buses and taxis are flying past but not one wants to stop for George. He should try incorporating a loud whistle into his technique. Or he should move a bit further down the road.

Lynne technique is to reveal some harlequin style leggings and do a little jig. She has already got the attention of two cabs but we don't know if their lights are on, and therefore available for hire. It could be that they are just slowing down to have a look.

If these cabs are not stopping then George and Lynne will be late for the theatre. If they had looked at a map beforehand, they would have known it would have been quicker to walk through Soho to get to Shaftesbury Avenue. They'll know better next time.

BRUNETTE

George and Lynne are at home. George tells Lynne not to forget about their new neighbours' party tonight. Lynne tells George that she's bought a new hair colour specially.

She goes on to say that she thought she'd try being a brunette for a change. George says that is looks like Lynne is dyeing to meet them.

Lynne is quite forgetful so George has to constantly remind her about the social engagements they have booked together. Just last week she forgot about a gala dinner. She was fast asleep at 6 o'clock, leaving George to attend on his own, much to his and his colleagues annoyance, who had all been taking bets on what sort of outrageous outfit Lynne would be wearing that night.

This party is being hosted by the new neighbours who have presumably just moved into the area. Lynne is going to surprise them by dyeing her natural blonde hair brown. This will completely throw them as they have seen a blonde woman leaving that house. As they live down the road, they have not yet had a chance to see her face. They will presume the dark haired woman is George's wife but think the blonde woman is his mistress. They will be feeling very awkward and will probably not to socialise with George, although his poor unsuspecting wife is fantastic company. Soon they will confront Lynne to tell her that her husband is having an affair. She will believe them and a huge row will break out with George threatening to leave, all because Lynne dyed her hair.

COLD FEET

George meets Lynne at her taxi and shelters her from the rain with an umbrella. He asks how her girls night out was. Lynne says it was terrible because the male stripper refused to take his clothes off. George asks if he got cold feet to which Lynne replies that as he didn't take his clothes off he didn't get a cold anything.

Lynne has been out with her girlfriends and George has stayed at home. He enjoyed his night in and had a whiskey in the bath whilst listening to Genesis. He then got into his dressing gown and watched the news. This was a good night for George.

Lynne on the other hand had organised a raucous night with her friends. It wasn't even a hen do but they still hired a stripper to entertain them. They were all clawing at him and he decided to end the show as the rules clearly stated that the customers were not allowed to touch.

The stripper stormed out and was rigorously baited by the women. They have now been blacklisted by both the stripper service and the bar. When those women go out together, they really go out.

CONDOLENCES

George and Lynne are asked to sign a book of condolences by a bald man. George says that it seems rather unusual. The bald man says that today it's very appropriate. Lynne adds that under the circumstances the bald man is right. She sees an unhappy bride and an ugly groom and says 'poor girl.'

George and Lynne are at a wedding. The bald man is in charge of the book, usually reserved for congratulations but this time is being used for condolences because of the mismatch of the bride and groom. The bald man must be a friend or relative of either the bride or groom. Judging that he is in charge of the book means he is either the best man or usher, or the father of the bride. Either way, he is not a very good friend or father.

If he was a friend of the ugly groom, he should be happy that his friend has, against all odds, bagged himself an attractive wife. No one thought it would happen but it has. If he is the father of the bride, he should never have allowed this to happen. He should have had a stern word with his daughter that she was marrying a deeply ugly man.

It could be that the bride was adamant she wanted to marry the ugly man but she seems very sad that her husband is as ugly as he is. Did she not realise who she was marrying? The only explanation is that she is from Eastern Europe and the only way to stay in the country is to marry an Englishman. The ugly man was the only man available so he had to do. It still begs the question of what George and Lynne are doing at the wedding. Do they feel it's their right to go to everything that happens in Wimbledon?

ONIONS

George arrives home to find Lynne crying. Lynne says it is only a few tears. George tells he will take Lynne out to dinner to cheer her up. Lynne says that manipulating your man is knowing your onions whilst chopping onions.

To explain this episode we must jump to the end. Lynne has foxed George into taking her for dinner by cutting onions which have made her cry. She has orchestrated this entire event to both get out of making dinner and and get taken out to dinner. She has done a good job at it as her entire plan has worked.

The main question here is why does she go back to cutting the onions? She has won. She should be upstairs getting dressed for her dinner. But instead she goes back to the onions which will make her cry more and she will be wasting a perfectly good onion. The fact is that the onions only provide Lynne with a limited amount of tears. In order to keep up the charade she must continue to cry a bit until she goes upstairs. She will also need to come up with a reason why she is crying as the smell of onions will soon enough make George a little suspicious.

LIPOSUCTION

George and Lynne are on the beach with an unnamed friend. She tells Lynne she plans to use liposuction to get rid of some ugly unsightly fat. Lynne tells her she has a fantastic figure. The friend tells Lynne that the liposuction was for her husband but she's decided to divorce him instead.

It's the first warm day of the year so naturally everyone south of Watford has flocked to the coast in the vain attempt of getting a tan. Lynne and her friend have not caught the sun but George is positively golden. He has however fallen asleep and needs to be careful he doesn't get burned.

In the time Lynne tells her friend that she has a fantastic figure, she has decided against liposuction for her husband, for whom it was originally intended, and opted for a divorce. When the man in the foreground comes into earshot, the woman makes a point of emphasising the words 'divorce him' so he can hear. We assume the man in the foreground is her husband, however she is actually attracted to that man and wants to give him the impression that she is available as her marriage is going through a rough patch.

The friend's shouting has woken George up and he looks a little worse for wear. He is still tanned but by the look on his face he did not intend to get that brown. His skin may have tightened somewhat. The drive back to the city could be a little painful.

HAPPINESS

Lynne is washing the car and sees a man leaving. She asks George who the man was. George says it is his much married friend Martin who has at last found out what true happiness is. Lynne asks if this is a good woman but George replies that it is a good divorce lawyer. Lynne throws a sponge at George

George has been entertaining a man who Lynne has never met yet she is still happy enough to wash George's car without a top on. It also seems that she has been doing this at the front of the house, in full view of all the neighbours. It could be that the building George and Martin have emerged from is in fact George's garage and the car is parked round the side of the house.

George has thus been entertaining Martin in his garage. He also needed the car to be out of the garage and for Lynne to be busy during this time. What has George been getting up to in there? The logical explanation is that George was showing Martin some structural damage that Martin could help him with but it could be more complicated than that.

The actual reason is that George and Martin are forming a blues band. They were seeing if George's garage would be able to house their rehearsals and if George's old printing machine could knock out a few flyers. Despite not being able to play their instruments yet, George and Martin want to create a buzz in the Wimbledon area. The first gig, down the Ferryboat naturally, will be a sell out.

POETRY

Lynne is lying in the garden reading a book of love poems. She tells George who is mowing the lawn. He doesn't hear and asks Lynne what she said. Lynne tells him not to mind.

Project garden has found new legs over at George and Lynne's place. George has decided to tackle the lawn as it has now got to dangerous lengths. Lynne has found a patch of cut lawn and bedded down with her book.

Lynne's book of love poems is unimaginatively entitled Love Poems and has no single author so is more likely a compilation of famous love poems. It doesn't have an inspiring cover either, but this is probably because it is a hard back and Lynne has left the dust jacket inside in case it was caught by a gust of wind and goes into George's mower. Lynne likes a tidy bookshelf.

George doesn't hear Lynne's comment and so switches his lawnmower off. He has given Lynne sufficent time and noise level to repeat her statement but instead she decides against it. She slams her head on the book, most likely creasing a page or two. It makes leaving the dust jacket inside a little pointless.

NEW PLAY

Lynne and 'Mantha have gone horseriding. Lynne tells 'Mantha that Ray play a visitor from outer space in his new play. 'Mantha says it sounds exciting and asks Lynne more about the plot. Lynne tells her that the character has no passport or visa so he is sent home as an illegal alien.

Ray, from Valentino, is a keen dramatist. There were rumours that he was underage but now that Lynne has been talking about him to 'Mantha suggests that he is the local luvvie who puts on wildly adventurous amateur plays which are the talk of the town.

Everyone in Wimbledon knows Ray's plays are terrible but they still support him. On this occasion, 'Mantha seems really interested in the plot of the play as she thoroughly enjoyed the last one, despite its poor production values.

It is difficult to know if Ray's play is a comedy or a sci-fi adventure. From Lynne's description it might be a parody of science fiction films but neither 'Mantha or Lynne are laughing. In fact, Ray's play is a hard hitting allegory of the government's policies on immigration. Ray is very liberal with his beliefs and believes in equal rights for all. Whether his message comes out through all the make-up and special effects remains to be seen.

FEARS

Lynne is on the phone. She wants confirmation from her friend that her first husband had a fear of open spaces. The friend does confirm this and adds that her second husband had a fear of enclosed spaces. Lynne asks about husband number three and she is told he has a fear of parking spaces.

Lynne is on the phone but she is outside. As mobile phones were not commonplace in the mid-80s, Lynne must be on a cordless phone that has a good range and she is standing out the back of a house. Her house does not have red bricks so it must be someone else's house. She has asked to use the phone and is cheekily making a social call.

The woman on the the other end of the phone says her husband had a fear of closed spaces. This could be the man from Married. He was once married but is now not. The fact that this woman is now on husband number three suggests she either makes bad decisions or is difficult to live with. The conclusion was made that she was suffocating the man, so she must be a difficult wife.

As the full episode is revealed, we see that the woman Lynne is talking to is just the other side of the road. This means that Lynne is not on the phone at all but is using the walkies talkies from Camping. She bought a job lot and gave a load to her friends. The only problem with this is that she has to take twelve different sets out whenever she leaves the house.

METALLIC

George and Lynne are with a friend called Liz. Lynne looks at a portly man in the foreground. She tell Liz that she knows her well enough to ask about her and Lionel, that he's much older than her. Liz says that he's reached the metallic age; silver in the hair, gold in the teeth – something she's accepted – and lead in the feet. She adds at the end that he is a darling.

This could be George and Lynne's back garden. We know it has a reputation for being overgrown, but this does look more like a wood than their back garden. It could be that they are in a campsite, and the walk from the camping area to the shower is through a deep forest. With all the sticks and stones on the ground, walking in bare feet might not be such a good idea.

Liz had married Lionel, who is much older than her. It has taken Lynne this long to comment on their relationship, which suggests that she did not know them before they were married. For once, someone in Wimbledon has not married an older man just for their money. Liz seems to genuinely like Lionel, which is refreshing.

Liz describes Lionel as having lead in his feet. Initially, it would seem she means that he is quite slow. However from the last frame, it seems that she means his feet are very heavy as he seems to have sunk into the ground. George, Lynne and Liz should help him immediately before he sinks deeper and starts to suffocate. They should also be careful they don't get sucked in themselves. After they have done all this, they should report to the campsite manager that the path to the showers has an area of quicksand so that a sign can be erected without delay.

LOVE OR MONEY

George is outside hanging the washing up when Judy comes round and asks if Lynne is about. George tells her that she is still sleeping like a log. The phone rings. George answers it and tells 'Mantha that Lynne hasn't surfaced yet and that he can't waken her for love or money. Lynne then appears and tells George that he never tried money.

It is a warm day and George sees this as an ideal opportunity to hang the washing outside to dry. As he says that Lynne is still sleeping, this must be a Saturday morning, but late morning as Judy expected her to be up. George realised he had no clean clothes, hence why he is only wearing his pants, so had to get up and do a wash. He'll have to stay like that until his clothes dry. If he really is down to his last clothes, it's a wonder why he is putting out Lynne's underwear to dry first.

When George answers the phone, he is still in his underwear, so his clothes haven't dried yet. When Lynne appears she is also without clothes. It seems George was right to put Lynne's clothes out to dry. Whereas he has at least one pair of clean pants, Lynne has none and so has to walk around in the nude until her clothes are dry.

Lynne has been eavesdropping George's phone conversation with 'Mantha. She must not want to talk to 'Mantha if she heard the conversation as she did not interrupt George to tell him she was up. This makes you wonder whether she didn't want to talk to Judy either. The more believable reason would be that she didn't want to talk to Judy whilst naked. A little awkward.

GOVERNMENT

George and Lynne are eating dinner. George says he misses kidney in his pork chop and adds that the government should never have let the EEC dictate to British butchers. Lynne agrees. Later, when they are watching television, George says that he doesn't want his movie interrupted by the news just because Whitehall says so. Lynne agrees. Later, Lynne is on the phone to Judy and tells her that men need a wife to have someone to blame when they can't blame the government.

George has been reading The Sun again. He has been told that the EEC have told British butchers that they cannot sell a pork chops with the kidney through the middle, but naturally he blames the government, which is most likely the one belonging to Mrs Thatcher. He also doesn't like the ITV film being interrupted, especially when it's Moonraker. He will definitely be voting Labour at the next election, not that it will do any good.

It seems that something has happened that we have missed. Lynne is complaining to Judy but we have not seen George blame Lynne for anything. Either George laid into Lynne before we joined the episode or he has done so after he has complained about the news. Lynne has no real right to complain to Judy if he hasn't done so. He must have blamed Lynne for buying the wrong wine or for taking up all the sofa. Lynne is phoning Judy because she wants to tell her that George has hit her, as was the style of the times, but she can't bring herself to do it. When she puts the phone down and turns back towards us, she will reveal a massive black eye. That'll teach her for voting Conservative.

ARGUMENT

George and Lynne are sitting on their bed naked. George suggests to Lynne they make it up. They start to make the bed and George continues, saying it was a stupid argument. Lynne agrees, especially about George's side of it. George rubs his temples and says it is like trying to blow out an electric light bulb.

George and Lynne have had an argument, presumably about how to make the bed. They have agreed to disagree about the correct manner; George thought it was best to put the whole duvet in the sheet and shake it, whereas Lynne wanted to put the corners in and slowly bring the sheet down. They have decided to do it the quickest way, rather than the one which yields the best results as it is now late and George has work in the morning.

When Lynne calls his side of the argument stupid, George is at the end of his tether. He likens reasoning with Lynne to blowing out an electric lightbulb – impossible. Why he needed to say electric is confusing. Does this mean that firstly there are such things as non-electric lightbulbs, and also that George has blown one out? A non-electric lightbulb must be a candle in a glass bulb. This would be equally difficult to blow out and besides, the lack of oxygen would mean it would be very difficult to keep it alight anyway. Let's hope Lynne doesn't tell him of his error, he might be liable to strike her.