WEDDINGS

George and Lynne are at a wedding. George arrives late and Lynne tells him to be quick as the bride will arrive any moment. Once inside Lynne says she loves weddings because they are such happy occasions. Lynne cries.

George is cutting it very fine. People are milling about outside the church because it is a nice day but they have been told by the ushers to go inside as they have heard that the bride is on her way. George hasn't even got time to park the car so just parks it on the lawn outside the church. It will be fine there.

Lynne loves wedding and cries tears of joy at the occasion as does another woman behind her. George is also welling up a bit. His face may be showing embarrassment though as he is wearing a carnation which is usually only reserved for ushers and the best man. This means that he was late for his friend's wedding. It might be because it was his job to calm the bride down and make sure she arrived at the church. If that is the case then he has had to keep that secret from everyone else. Even Lynne didn't know. George, you are a true friend.

UNDER THE STARS

Lynne is camping with Katalina. Whilst putting up their tent, Lynne asks her if she camped out when she lived in Hollywood. Katalina replies that she slept under the stars fairly regularly. Lynne says she wasn't talking about her love life.

Lynne has now caught the camping bug and is off with a friend, leaving George at home. It seems this friend, Katalina, has spent some time in Hollywood. This must be the same Katalina who went to Italy so perhaps she is an actress of some sort and has tried to make it in America. She can't be that well known though as she would be mobbed at the camp site.

Lynne mistakes Katalina's comment for a euphemism for the amount of famous men she has been with. If Katalina had her druthers she should strike Lynne for insinuating that she is a jezebel. However Katalina smiles which suggests that she does live up to her reputation. This may be her way of getting ahead in what is a cruel industry. We shall wait and see if it is the correct choice.

FIREWORK

George has gone into a shop to complain about a very expensive firework he was sold which didn't go off. The shop assistant says that makes it a 'firenotwork'.

George is apoplectic. He spent upwards of fifteen pounds on an elaborate Catherine Wheel but it failed to work. Not only that, it was meant to be the piece-de-resistance of his fireworks display and made him look like a bit of a lemon. The were hushed voices afterwards.

This woman is not the manager of the shop. She is only working there for extra money as she tries to become an actor or a singer. If the manager of the shop, which sells novelty items and fireworks, heard her quip she would be fired on the spot. George's anger has turned into confusion as to how anyone could be so stupid.

In the end, George's money is not refunded because he threw the firework at the wall in anger rather than returning it with a receipt. It was his own fault, but he won't be buying his fireworks from there any more.

BORING

George and Lynne are in the garden. Lynne is on the phone to an unnamed friend. The friend tells Lynne that her boyfriend seems to find her boring as he is always falling asleep when she talks. Lynne asks her what the answer to that problem is and the lady replies that it is to keep quiet when he's driving as he's crashed his car.

George's new year's resolution of tidying the garden is in full effect here. He's taken his top off and invested in some durable gardening gloves to deal with those prickly weeds. He does however look perplexed by those secateurs.

This woman's boyfriend is going to some lengths to avoid talking to her. He has been pretending to fall asleep in all manner of places including restaurants and in shopping centres. You'd think he would just break up with her if he found her that boring.

Now he's gone a step too far. He's pretended to fall asleep whilst driving and completely written off his car. He now has to lie to the police that he has narcolepsy. Of course they'll need some sort of doctor's note to believe him so he'll have to lie to a doctor too. This is only going to end one way - jail.

INGRID'S DIVORCE

George and Lynne are at the gym. Lynne tells George that the divorce is a weight off Ingrid's mind. George asks Lynne if she was married to a sportsman. Lynne changes her statement to say that it is a weight lifter off her mind.

The gym is very crowded today. The people in white are the personal trainers who all wear the same outfit so the patrons can easily find them if they need help with an exercise bike. The one in the foreground has a clipboard to make him look important.

It seems Ingrid has just finalised a gritty divorce from her weightlifter husband. He may have been having an affair with a barmaid, but that rumour is unfounded. If he is the man who was seeing the Ferryboat Inn barmaid, then this marriage has lasted, from vows to divorce, under two weeks. That's the fastest settlement ever. It might be that it was an annulment rather than a divorce. Lynne should check that.

MINOR INCONVENIENCE

Lynne is at the pub. The barmaid asks Lynne if she should finish with her boyfriend. Lynne says she should because he got married last week. The barmaid says she said a good reason not a minor inconvenience.

Lynne is on her own at the Ferryboat Inn. That is not to say that George is not with her. He could quite easily be in the toilet, buying another round or picking his songs on the jukebox.

So it seems the barmaid is dating a married man. What a cad! Not only is he having an affair but he is doing it over the period of his wedding and other people know about it. His days of infidelity are surely numbered.

The barmaid then kicks off at Lynne for her moral judgement. She has no right to. As far as we are concerned, the barmaid never said anything about a good reason. No wonder Lynne looks shocked. All was she was doing was trying to raise the standards of sleepy Wimbledon, whilst looking out for a friend who will undoubtedly be hurt in the long run and she gets her head bitten off. George can't get back from the jukebox sooner.

PITCH BLACK

George and Lynne are in a tent. Lynne asks George to remember that it was pitch black when they arrived last night. George does remember and adds that he didn't think it was the camp site but Lynne wasn't convinced. Lynne exits the tent to find that they are in the middle of a football stadium. She admits she was wrong.

George and Lynne have gone camping and arrived to what they believe to be the camp site in total darkness. This means that George didn't even have his lights on when they drove, although he may have had them on a low beam when arriving at the stadium, which Lynne thought was a camp site.

Following that error, he must have then found a way to drive onto the pitch. Some stadiums have a tunnel which leads from where the coaches would arrive, past the dressing room and onto the pitch, so that is understandable. George did not want to wake the other campers he believed were there and sleeping so, at this point, he completely turned his lights off and drove slowly towards a clearing that he had spied earlier.

It is now at the earliest midday so George and Lynne have slept through the warm up and all the crowd arriving. The question is not how they did not know they had camped in a football stadium but why the groundsman didn't wake them up and remove them before the game started. If Lynne had not woken, were the teams just going to play round them? There must be some old mediaeval law that states that if a man pitches his tent within the city walls, then he is not allowed to be moved.