STAIRS

George and Lynne are in a hotel. A woman tells her husband, Arnold, that they should take the stairs. Upon hearing this, George suggests to Lynne that they do the same. Lynne says she doesn't want to walk up four floors and that the lift is coming anyway. When the lift arrives she asks the lift operator where he's been. He replies that by asking Lynne where anyone goes in a lift.

George and Lynne are on a weekend away. They are staying in quite a fancy hotel and judging by George's attire they have just come back from dinner. George and Lynne's room is on the fourth floor and as it's late, Lynne does not feel like walking.

The hotel is so fancy it has an old style lift which needs an operator. This means that unless the lift stops after a certain time, the operator has to work all night. When the lift does come, Lynne is very rude to the operator. He only looks young and is only doing this job so he can have a little extra money in his pocket for the weekends. Lynne takes her anger at George for suggesting they walk out on the operator.

Not willing to take that sort of abuse, the lift operator throws all lift operating etiquette out of the window and answers in a condescending manner. Had Lynne actually understood what the lift operator meant, she may have reported him to the manager. George sees that Lynne is drunk so quietly apologises to the lift operator and takes her to bed.

Note: There is literally nothing funny about this cartoon.

MY DRESS

Lynne is at her dresser in her underwear getting ready to go out. She tells George that she asked him to pick up her dress from the dry cleaners. She then says that she now has nothing to wear. George, who is dressed, hugs Lynne and says that it is just the way he likes it.

George and Lynne are about to go out. Even though Lynne knows her dress is still at the dry cleaners she has still decided to put her make-up on. Whether she actually thinks she will be going out in only her underwear we don't know. She may think that George is playing a cruel trick on her.

Lynne is trying to make George feel guilty for his trick by wiping away a tear and saying she has nothing to wear. She had her heart set on wearing that dress. All George wanted to do was hug his wife and now he's made his wife cry.

As his plan backfires, George knows he needs to get the pay-off sooner rather than later otherwise it would have been all worthless. So he grabs Lynne and squeezes and shakes her. Soon enough, Lynne gets a little scared and has to tell George to stop. It is awkward for a bit but it soon blows over.

LOCAL ROADS

George and Lynne are in bed. Lynne is reading the paper and tells George that the poor state of local roads continue to give cause for concern. The goes on to say that one group is happy with the situation namely the local pot-holing club who have just begun to explore the high street. George looks shocked.

The local paper that Lynne is reading is quite thin. The editors who run the paper have yet to cotton on to filling up pages with advertisements which not only make the paper look bulkier but give it a much needed revenue stream. Perhaps the sales department is only in its early stages.

It appears that the holes in the high street are so bad that the pot holing club is using them. This begs two questions: Firstly how have the local council let the state of the roads get so bad that people can actually climb down into the holes and secondly why Wimbledon has a pot holing club. It's no wonder the club are so happy – they finally have a chance to actually go pot holing, after years of AGMs and meetings. This will go down as a landmark year for the club.

Meanwhile, the council really need to sort out the high street. One car crash and they're going to have a compensation case on their hands so big that the cost of fixing the roads will pale in comparison.

LEGS AND BOOBS

Lynne is in the bath and on the phone to an unnamed friend. The friend tells Lynne that she has applied for the job as Mr Valentino's secretary. Lynne tells her to watch him as she's heard he treats woman as sex objects. Lynne's friend says that he was fine with and said she had all the right qualifications. Lynne thinks this is typing and computer skills but the friend says it is long legs and big boobs.

Mr Valentino is well known in Wimbledon. Where he works or what he does we do not know but we do know he has been advertising for a secretary. Either his workload has increased so much that he now needs one or the previous one left.

Lynne has failed to use the plural of woman when she warns her friend. She may have wanted to say 'his woman' but that would imply that Lynne's friend was entering into more than a business relationship with him.

This being the 1980s, Mr Valentino is able to hire his secretaries based purely on their looks, with no formal qualifications needed. Lynne's friend's boobs are so big, a pre-requisite for Mr Valentino, that she can't even stand up straight. Perfect for filing, not so good for typing up letters.

IRON

Lynne is doing the ironing. She thinks that there are too many of George's shirts to iron. George comes in shirtless and asks Lynne what is going on. Lynne says that it is a one woman walk out and that she isn't doing any more ironing. She adds that she is striking while the iron is hot.

George has no shirts to wear and has demanded that Lynne iron them because there is no way in hell he will iron his own shirts. He owns eight shirts. Three pink, three blue and two beige. This is odd because whenever he returns from work he is usually wearing a white shirt. This means that Lynne has ruined his shirts by putting colours in with them. How she got three different colours out of one wash is something to marvel at.

George's question is not about Lynne's ironing but why there is water all over the kitchen and all his shirts are not white and in a wet heap on the ironing board. Lynne's proclamation of a strike has just confused him.

If George knows best, he will run downstairs before Lynne's reckless iron positioning sets the living room on fire. She doesn't understand about heat.

CREDIT CARD

George and Lynne are out. Lynne tells George that he is the love of her life and her best friend. George asks Lynne if she's sure about that. Lynne confirms that he is the love of her life but her best friend is her credit card. George expects her to say something like that.

George has gone out holding a small pig. At first glance it looks as though it maybe his money box. He has lost his wallet and for some reason he sees his piggy bank as a substitute to carry his money around in. We may chuckle at George's idea, but this could be a sign of early onset dementia.

By the time the attractive woman turns up, it seems that this is not a piggy bank at all but a real miniature pig. Its ears are clearly in a different position and it looks a little alarmed. The attractive lady has seen George holding the miniature pig but decides to not say anything.

Lynne has not mentioned the pig either. This is because she had bought it with her credit card, hence her comment. George is so marvelled at how small the pig is that he doesn't even ask her how much it cost. They are priced at £700 now so just think what it must have cost Lynne.

LOCAL MP

George and Lynne are in bed. Lynne tells George that their local MP was caught in a compromising position. George is alarmed that this has happened again and asks Lynne who she was this time. Lynne says it was his wife which was a big shock to everyone.

George and Lynne are getting amorous on their bed with the massive heart shaped pillow and Lynne ruins the mood by discussing current affairs. Initially, it does not turn George off. Perhaps this is some sort of role-play involving being a local news reporter and her boss.

The MP's infidelity is of no surprise to George. The MP is some sort of Wimbledon Silvio Berlusconi and his extra-curricular activities only serve to increase his profile. Rumour has it that he doesn't actually bed any of these women, but it is merely a PR stunt to help his exposure.

Finally George is turned off by Lynne's chit chat. He was hoping she was going to talk about what the MP and his mistress were getting up to in bed, but instead Lynne had ruined the mood with a feeble joke. There is no way the MP being photographed in bed with his own wife would make the news, even it was only the local news. George is disgusted that Lynne would jeopardise their one night a week of love making for the sake of a gag.